Our Zombie Girl
by CJCollective
Summary: A zomromcom which relates the untold events of the night following episode 3 of Our Girl
1. Chapter 1

_**Great characters and stories are able to move effortlessly between genres. To prove this point the CJ collective has created the following zomromcom which relates the untold events of the night following episode 3 of Our Girl. We sincerely hope Tony Grounds will forgive us for what we have done to his creations and that he realises our motives are grounded in a sincere love and respect for his work. **_

_**You will find that this story has been written with tongue firmly in cheek and we hope it makes you laugh. There are a number of in jokes which those of you who are following the mumsnet OG/CJ thread will understand. If you are not following that thread then stop reading this and go find it! We think its one of the best things on the internet!**_

Chapter 1

As the hospital bed carrying Sohail disappeared through the double -doors of the ward and the urgent voices of the medical staff gradually became fainter, Captain James raised his head to look directly into Molly's eyes. He bit his lip then swallowed hard.. a patient on one of the beds behind him started to moan softly...

"Molly, listen. There is so much I want to say..."

The moaning grew louder and changed into a gasping retching sound

"Since the debrief on that first patrol I knew that you were special..."

The gasping/retching turned into a grunting...

" I have watched you grow into..."

...grunting into a hoarse barking

" Oh for goodness sake man will you pipe down, I've completely lost my train of thought!"

Molly looked around Captain James, a concerned look on her face.

"I better check on him Boss"

She walked over to the bed. The man was now sitting up, breathing heavily with his head in his hands. She touched his shoulder and he looked up at her. Molly gasped and stepped back. His eyes were bright red orbs while a green pungent mucus dribbled from his nose and mouth.

"Blimey you pen and ink mate." gasped Molly.

"You really smell like you've gone off" then raising her voice to attract the attention of a nurse she repeated "He's gone off!"

By now the man had risen slowly from the bed and was taking short shuffling steps towards Molly. Meanwhile a low moaning had started from the other beds in the ward.

Molly backed away slowly while Captain James came to join her, a look of disgust on his handsome face.

"Sir" she said "he looks just like..."

"I know" he said "like Mansfield Mike doing the 50 sausage challenge, but it can't be, he doesn't do that until episode 4" The man lurched towards them and Captain James grabbed a chair to fend him off. The ward was filled with a cacophony of sound as other patients started to rise from their beds, red eyes staring and snot flowing.

One patient made a grab for Molly and Captain James swung the chair, the plastic seat breaking away from the legs as it landed full on the patients head. The man lurched backwards and then came on again, teeth bared in an inhuman snarl.

Captain James raised the legs of the chair and brought them down onto the man's head, leaving them embedded in his skull. The patient swayed on the spot, the chair legs protruding like antlers from his head before he toppled over like a poleaxed stag.

James grabbed Molly's hand. "Come on private we need to get out of here."

They turned towards the door, but found it blocked by Sohail, or at least what used to be Sohail. As the Afghan lurched forward his medical gown caught on the door handle and slowly fell away, Molly screamed as the full horror of his transformation became clear. James too recoiled.

"What is that" said Molly pointing with trembling hands at Sohail's midriff.

"I've seen something like that only once before" said James, "at Dangleberries birthday bash just before we flew out, except then it was shaped like a reindeer and had a flashing nose. It put me right off my fruit salad"

James swept the room, desperately looking for an escape route. Windows looked out onto a service area behind them.

"Through here" he ordered, as he wrenched the window open then helped Molly up onto the sill. She jumped down and he quickly followed.

"We need to find 2 section" he said as they sprinted away...


	2. Chapter 2

Molly and the Captain sprinted to the parking lot of the camp hospital, it was an instinctive move to try and find the rest of the Unit which they left behind when they medevac Sohail.

Running past one of the trucks, they recognised the familiar shape of Smurf, apparently intent at assembling and disassembling his automated rifle. He wasn't looking in their direction, probably lost in his thoughts.

"Oi! Smurf!" Molly shouted "you would not believe what just happened!"

He didn't answer straight away.

CJ tensed instinctively and hold tighter Molly's hand, which he had not left since the jump from the window.

"Come on, you Welsh wanker! Look at me, I may need some of that looking after you promised me!"

Smurf's head turned slowly and only then did they see a bullet hole right in the side of the neck, from where a large, pulsing wound was gurgling blood onto his shirt.

"Captaiiiiin Jaaaaaamessss" he muttered menacingly, with blood-stained eyes and a ferociously stern expression on his emaciated face

"Dylan said at the memorial that you loved me...what he didn't know is that I loved youuuuuuuu" and with a sudden move he tried to jump closer and embrace him, knocking Molly away.

"Sod off, you shortie cockney muppet! He's miiiineeeee! I want the right end of the stick!"

Captain James wrestled with the animated cadaver and eventually managed to push him away, so that he stumbled and fell. Shouts rang out from the other end of the parking lot followed by the sound of running feet. Several figures emerged from the darkness and resolved into Kinders, Smurf, Fingers and Dangleberries.

"Sir, are you all right?" Said Kinders "We heard there was trouble at the hospital and doubled over to check you and Dawes were ..."

Kinders trialled off as he followed Captain James' fixed stare to the nearby figure struggling to rise from the dusty ground.

"Oh my god...Smurf? No it can't be...Geraint?

Smurf also now looked down at the figure, his expression changing from curiosity to confusion to shock.

"Geraint ... Is that you?... Please nooo!

Captain James grabbed Smurfs shoulder. "It's not him Smurf, it's just a shell, a husk being used by some evil agent"

"It's not that sir, I know it's not him. It's just that even as a zombie, he's still better looking than me!"

Then before anyone could stop him Smurf grabbed Geraint discarded rifle and brought the butt down repeatedly on the head of the struggling figure until it lay still.

Molly touched James arm "Boss I don't understand, how can Geraint be here"

Captain James bit his lip, then ran his tongue along the inside of his mouth.

" I suspect" he said "that this is an unforeseen plot twist and that we will need to wait until Chapter 3 to get an explanation"

"What do you mean sir?" Molly queried

Captain James smiled "as I have said before Molly we will need to trust those higher up in the chain of command to see the bigger picture"

"Bossman!" called Fingers "we got trouble!"

As they looked up they realised that a large group of shuffling, moaning figures were converging on them from all sides of the parking lot.

Suddenly one of the figures fell forward, a crowbar protruding from the back of its skull and from behind emerged the smiling face of Mansfield Mike, followed by the rest of two section.

"There you all are!" He said. "It's like a Saturday night in downtown Newport around here"

"Fuck off...it's not that bad!" Put in Brains.

Captain James restored order "let's focus up lads we're not out the woods yet"

As they looked around them more shambling figures had appeared and they soon realised they were surrounded and outnumbered.

"Molly" he said, "Stay behind me, I don't want any of these disgusting creatures touching you"

"They're all right sir" said Molly, " I spent six months in a FOB with them and never had any trouble"

"What?...no not them Molly" said James "the zombies"

Just then the sound of screeching tyres was heard from the far side of the parking lot and the bright headlights of a jeep came into view. It accelerated into the ring of zombies and sent a number sprawling across its bonnet as it cannoned into their ragged ranks.

Major Morley emerged from the drivers side and shouted "get in now!"

Two section piled into the jeep pell mell and with a final rev of the engine the vehicle accelerated into the night.


	3. Chapter 3

The jeep headed at speed towards the detention block. The members of two section sat in silence. No one wanted to talk about what they had seen, fearing that to speak it out load would be to acknowledge the horrible reality of what was unfolding that night. That is until Mansfield Mike started to sing

"The zombie on the bus goes grunt grunt, grunt,

Grunt, grunt, grunt,

Grunt, grunt, grunt"

But he was soon told to 'can it' by Major Morley.

Captain James looked across at the American "can you tell us what is going on sir?"

"We have been expecting an attack like this from the Taliban for a little while" began the Major.

"The Taliban sir?" Said Molly

"Oh yes, private. They have started to fight this war on many fronts. It was only a matter of time before they tried the zombie angle"

The jeep pulled up outside the detention block and two section piled out.

In the distance a loud explosion was heard whilst the unmistakable sound of small arms fire also reached their ears.

A US marine sergeant doubled over to the Major and saluted.

"Sir, that was warehouse two just being destroyed. They headed straight for it as if they knew what to look for"

"Dammit" said the Major. "We will need a plan B"

Turning to James the Major said "Captain we will need the help of you and your section. We are spread pretty thin tonight."

"Of course sir. What can we do?"

"Follow me" said the Major and led them through a door and into a briefing room.

"Take a seat, gentlemen and lady. What I am about to tell you is highly classified. For a number of months now we have been monitoring the activities of a small group of Taliban scientists who we suspected of developing a potent biological weapon, the results of which you have witnessed tonight."

"This pathogen has been developed from an organic based dye and has been packed into IEDs and ammunition. In this way it has affected the dead and wounded first, who can then go on to infect the living."

"Once infected the subject can be controlled through the use of biological markers such as pheromones. These have been employed to draw the victims from sometimes huge distances to this base"

Molly turned to James "that's how Geraint turned up here sir... and why he tried to jump you"

"Ere, is that because Bossman's got one of them ferret stones they like?" cut in Mansfield Mike

"Pheromones, penis head!" Rebuked Brains

Captain James looked at the Major. "You mentioned they make this stuff from some sort of dye?"

"Yes that's right" he confirmed. "Its most commonly used in ink"

Molly stiffened beside him "Sir, the pens! Bashira must have been sent out by her father to collect them for the scientists. Oh god this is all my fault!"

"No it isn't Molly, you can't blame yourself for this" James reassured her.

"Actually sir, she can. Molly gave her bloody hundreds" said Bas Vegas.

"Yer" added Nude Nuts "she was like a walking stationery cupboard."

"All right that's enough" ordered Kinders.

"So what's the plan?" Asked James.

"We have been able to infiltrate the scientists cell" Morley continued "We knew one of the ANA guys, Sohail, had stumbled across something but we couldn't risk anyone knowing we also had our suspicions. We, therefore, let him investigate his hunch, and monitored his activity through a highly sophisticated bugging device we were able to disguise within an item of novelty underwear"

Molly put her head in her hands "yep we have seen it"

"We called this surveillance 'operation bulge'"

A number of poorly disguised smirks broke out among some members of two section. Major Morley drew himself up "in honour of my grandfather"

Some barely suppressed giggling then broke out.

Major Morley glared at them "who fought in the WW2 battle of the same name!"

"Indeed" observed Captain James after a short pause.

The Major glared around the room then continued "From the information we were able to gather we think we have an antidote to the pathogen. It is a liquid solution within which the affected subject must be immersed. We have the antidote but our large holding container was in warehouse two and has been destroyed. If only we had something readily portable which can hold a large amount of liquid!"

All eyes in the room turned to Captain James.

"I might just be able to help you there" he said.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4 In the Deep End

The Major looked quizzically at James

"Just a present from my mummy sir" said the Captain.

Morley looked bemused but then shrugged and nodded "Ok, If you can organise the securing of the container I can show the rest of your men where the antidote is stored. Let's rendezvous at 0100 hours in the main parade ground where we can prepare the solution"

Kinders then cleared his throat "excuse me Major but how are we going to get the zombies to come to us?"

The Major turned his gaze on Captain James. "We know they are attracted to certain biological markers and we have seen, Captain, that you are particularly adept at...producing these." Morley ran his eyes up and down James body and licked his lips, he then hurriedly cleared his throat and looked away adding as he did "if you were able to find a way of augmenting this ability tonight, it may prove very useful."

Captain James glanced at Molly, his lip twitching slightly. "Sir, I think there may be a way, but I will require Private Dawes' ...medical expertise"

Molly looked up at him and smirked.

Mansfield Mike then piped up "actually sir I might also be able to help you with your ferret thingies. My uncle used to keep a breeding pair and I was always sticking them down my trousers as a boy"

James stared at the soldier "I think that may explain a hell of a lot private. I also suspect your services would be much better used elsewhere. Thank you"

A few minor details were quickly worked out and then James and Molly left the detention block heading for the Captains quarters.

They avoided the main roadways and spaces on the base, choosing instead to cut through the the service areas and around outbuildings. However, the chaos was still evident here with buildings and vehicles burning and isolated groups of soldiers running in panic. They also saw the odd zombie but were easily able to outpace them when they did start to shuffle in their direction.

Molly said little and James thought she may be brooding over the pens again. He sought her hand and she gripped it firmly, looking up at him and giving him one of her lovely smiles. He felt a surge of desire but realised the dangerous effect this may have on the zombies and forced himself to think of the inside of Mansfield Mikes trousers instead which killed the nascent passion stone dead.

They soon reached his quarters and went inside.

"Dawes could you grab the pool please, it's in the bottom of the wardrobe"

Molly opened the door and moved a small cardboard box which seemed to be filled with documents and photos before spotting the familiar packaging of the inflatable paddling pool.

She carried the box over to his desk and placed it beside his coffee machine, unknowingly knocking a photo frame face down as she did so. She then turned and faced Captain James, a look of concern on her face.

"This is all a bit mad Sir, and dangerous. Are we doing the right thing?"

James laughed through his nose "all that appears to be required is for me to lure the zombies into the pool, nothing more dangerous than a team bath after rugby. You ever been in a team bath Dawes?"

"No sir, but sounds a bit shit" commented Molly.

"No Dawes it is perfect" countered James.

"I don't do perfect.." Began Molly but before she could continue James held up a hand to stop her. He pulled a thick document out of a drawer in his desk and quickly turned the pages. He scanned a section then shook his head. "Sorry Dawes, we aren't due to have this conversation until episode 4."

Molly nodded solemnly.

Just then there was a knock at the door.

"If that's Smurf I am going to crown him" said James and moved to the door. He paused in front of it and called out "Whose there ?"

There was no answer, so James moved closer and put his ear to the panel. Just then two powerful fists came crashing through the door and grabbed Captain James around the neck. Molly screamed and James desperately tried to lever himself away. The hinges of the door gave way and the whole thing fell forward into the room revealing the almost naked body of Sohail on the other side.

Captain James stumbled and fell backwards bringing the door and the big Afghan on top of him. As they all hit the floor the door fell apart and Sohails grotesque face came into view, red eyes bulging, mouth wide, teeth ready to devour.

Molly desperately looked around the room to find a weapon. She caught sight of the coffee machine, grabbed it and held it over her head.

Captain James looked up in horror.

"For...gods...sake...Molly aaaarrggh!...you...know...I'm...not...ouch!...a fully...fffffunctioning... soldier...oh get off me... until...arf!... I've had...my first ...aaaargh...shot of ...coffffeeee.. in the...oh god... Morning!"

Molly put the machine down reluctantly and frantically looked around again. She spotted the Captains rifle and seized it. She aimed the butt at Sohails head and brought it down as hard as she could. It glanced off his cheek and hit his shoulder.

Sohail turned his head slowly and started to crawl over James towards Molly. He hesitated as something seemed to snag on the Captains body but then sprang at Molly, catching her by the wrist as she backed away.

Relieved of the weight of Sohail James was able to struggle up but he flailed around unable to see clearly. His hands reached up to his face to discover what was obscuring his vision. He pulled away a scrap of cloth and recoiled in horror as he was confronted by the novelty underwear. Throwing it down in disgust he went to the aid if Molly.

Sohail was now on top of Molly and James dashed over to them grabbing his rifle on the way. With one powerful swing he brought the rifle down on the the head of the Afghan and shattering his skull. Sohail slumped sideways and Molly was able to scramble away from him.

"Sir, I..."

"What is it Private"

Molly wordlessly held out her arm revealing a livid bite mark on her forearm, just below a long smudge of what appeared to be ink.

"Oh god no!" Said James.

Molly's eyes filled with tears.

"Don't worry, you are going to be all right. Come on, on your feet soldier we need to move" urged James.

He grabbed the pool and they ran from the cabin.

When they reached the parade ground, it was a hive of activity with two section unloading black drums from a US Army truck.

"Kinders I need this inflated now!" And he threw the box at the Corporal.

"Smurf, Brains, double over here"

Molly fell to her knees "I feel a bit moby sir" she said.

"Hold on Dawsey" said James.

The two squaddies blew until their lungs ached and before long the pool was inflated. Then the rest of two section started to lift the barrels and pour their contents into the container until it was nearly full.

By this time Molly was delirious and James had to carry her over to the pool. He stepped over the rim and then lowered himself and her into the solution.

"Please god let us not be too late" he prayed as Molly's face disappeared under the surface.

To be continued...


	5. Chapter 5- Don't Go Breaking My Heart

Chapter 5 Don't Go Breaking My Heart

James watched Molly's face warp and ripple below the surface. Her eyes were shut and a slight frown furrowed her brow. Small bubbles rose from her mouth and nose and strands of hair floated around her face.

Suddenly her eyes shot open revealing burning orbs of pure hatred. Her limbs started to thrash violently as she tried desperately to surface and her hands started to claw at James' clothes in a desperate attempt to gain some purchase.

"Don't let her come up yet" said a voice behind him.

James looked around and met Major Morleys eyes. "But I'm killing her" he cried desperately

"No Captain, you are saving her life" replied the American firmly.

James turned back to the writhing figure in the pool. Molly's face was fixed in an inhuman rictus but the thrashing was growing weaker. The burning red eyes had turned a less angry pink and, as James watched, continued to fade and take on the beautiful green he had come to love.

Yes love. The realisation hit him like a train. He almost laughed our load. It seemed as if the hidden mechanism of his private universe had clicked into place, that everything was now perfectly balanced and made sense...made sense except for some idiot shouting at him...

"Captain you need to let go of her! Shes drowning you fool let her up"

It was Major Morley who was frantically pulling on his shoulder whilst Molly's tongue was lolling out of her mouth and she had gone cross eyed.

"Oh yes, sorry" and so saying he heaved her out of the water.

Molly broke the surface in a spray of liquid and took a huge gasping breath of air.

James lifted her in his arms and climbed out of the pool. Smurf appeared with a blanket and wrapped it around them both. James knelt down, tenderly cradling Molly's head in the crook of his arm. He looked down at her beautiful face, dusted with freckles and framed by her now loose wet hair. He moved closer. She parted her lips invitingly...and then projected a stream of stinking green vomit straight into his face.

"Oh Christ!" Said James, letting go of Molly so she thudded onto the floor.

"Ah yes" said Morley "should  
>have mentioned that would happen. She should now make a full recovery"<p>

Molly lifted herself onto one elbow. "Sorry sir" she said.

James smiled "No, I'm sorry for dropping you" he said and offered her his hand. She grabbed it and got shakily to her feet.

Mansfield Mike came over with another towel and a water bottle.

"Yuck" he said. "Haven't seen chunder like that since I drunk that pint of creme de menthe"

James gratefully accepted the towel and canteen and offered it to Molly who took a large swig.

"Captain" said Morley "we haven't much time. We must start rounding the zombies up before they escape from the confines of the base"

James nodded and in one fluid movement pulled off his top to reveal a perfectly toned upper body. He then strode over to the pool and lowered himself into the liquid, stretching both arms along the rim of the pool to support himself.

"Ok" he said "come and get it"

Ten minutes later he was still there with no sign of a zombie.

Kinders sidled over. "No luck yet sir?"

"No. I don't understand it" said James.

"Something better happen soon sir cos your starting to get a bit wrinkly" put in Kinders.

"I am well aware of that Corporal"

Mansfield Mike then trotted over. "Want me to have a go sir? My mam says I have the body of a sportman"

"Yep" said Brains "and you keep it under the stairs at home!"

"Thank you private" said James "but we need another solution."

"We need to do something that will get your mojo going sir, and that will let the whole base know you are here" mused Kinders.

James looked across the parade ground to a large pole supporting the powerful speakers which formed part of the base's public address system.

"Dangleberries" said James "go and grab your keyboard. Two section are going to provide the entertainment tonight"

The private grinned and doubled away into the night.

"Kinders, do you think you can look out a couple of mics and rig them up to the PA system?" Asked James

"No problem sir" replied the Corporal "Brains, Fingers with me!"

James then turned to Molly "Dawes, I am going to need your help if you are up to it"

Molly smiled "I think I can still remember the words"

They soon had the equipment set up. James looked over at Molly and smiled. She looked exactly as she had done during the first duet at the base, hair down, black vest, combat trousers. He felt his ardour rise. A swing of the mic and they were off:

"Don't go breaking my heart"

"I couldn't if I tried"

The song was carried to the four corners of the huge base via the PA system and soon the first zombies were seen shuffling into the square.

James stood in the pool waiting for them. Two section spread out around the outside and grabbed the unsuspecting attackers as they entered the solution, holding them down while the antidote took effect and singing as they worked:

"Oooooo nobody knows it,  
>When I was down,<br>I was your clown"

Soon the flow of zombies increased, familiar faces among them including Jackie and Qaseem, his normally sad eyes, glowing red circles.

James was forced to help two section in the pool as the mass of thrashing bodies threatened to overwhelm them.

"Dawes, keep singing" ordered James.

Molly looked over at dangleberries "take it away!"

He nodded and started belting out another tune.

Molly smiled and sang:

"Seems like everybody's got a price,  
>I wonder how they sleep at night..."<p>

Two section fell to the task with renewed vigour and joined in the chorus whilst swaying to the music...

"Everybody look to the left (yeah)  
>Everybody look to the right<br>Can you feel that (yeah)  
>We're paying with love tonight<br>It's not about the money, money, money..."

As individuals recovered they were led away to a makeshift medical centre at the edge if the parade ground.

Among them was Major Beck, dressed inexplicably in a pink negligee and matching slippers. As he came to his senses he looked down in horror.

"Errr the zombie, in its madness, must have broken into the women's quarters and got it into its head to dress up like this..."

Kinders and Smurf looked at each other and smiled then the corporal cleared his throat and said

"Of course sir, only possible explanation"

The horizon had a pink tinge as the flow of zombies started to lessen to a trickle. Mansfield Mike had the microphone and was waving his other arm in the air:

"You're everywhere and nowhere baby, That's where you're at..."

Major Morley stood by the pool and watched as the last few zombies trail in and were dealt with. He turned to Captain James:

"We have checked all over the camp and these appear to be the last of them. You and your people have done a thorough and professional job"

In the background Mansfield Mike launched himself into the chorus:

"And its...Hi ho silver lining,  
>Anywhere you go now baby..."<p>

James blinked "thank-you sir"

Morley continued "they will all require a thorough debrief and the events of tonight will need to remain highly confidential. We cannot afford for news of this to leak out."

"Of course sir" confirmed James

Morley nodded and strode away.

Molly sauntered over and smiled up at James.

"So what now sir" she asked, a cheeky smile spreading across her face.

James looked quickly around to make sure no one was near enough to hear then gazed deep into her eyes.

"I thought I had lost you tonight, I never want to feel like that again. We have a lot to talk about but this is neither the time or the place. Molly we need to wait out until we get back to Brize. Tell me you understand"

Molly nodded slowly. "I do, don't worry"

James breathed out then nodded. "Come on let's go get some scoff"

They walked slowly out of the square, past two section who were swaying along whilst Major Beck, still in the negligee, and Major Morley stood arm in arm singing with heartfelt intensity

"Ooh I've been to Georgia and California and anywhere I could run..."

Mansfield Mike turned to Kinders and said "do you think there is anything going on between those two?"

"Who, Molly and the boss?"

"No, don't be daft, them two" said Mansfield Mike nodding towards the two singing Majors

Kinders just shrugged and joined in the chorus

"But I ran out of places and friendly faces because I had to be free.

I've been to paradise but I've never been to me"

The End


	6. The Return

_**Due to popular demand...**_

_**This chapter is set around the end of Ep5 although you will see we have changed some of the preceding events. Really hope you like it. Comments and advice always welcome!**_

The Royal Crescent stretched in a majestic curve into the distance. A solitary figure walked briskly along its length, seemingly ignoring its Palladian splendour, bent on reaching its destination as soon as possible. A close observer may have detected a confidence and assurance in the set of the shoulders and gait. The figure strode towards a large white door set into the bath stone frontage and knocked firmly. After a short pause the door opened to reveal Charles James in blue lumberjack shirt and rigger gloves.

"Missed me?" said the smiling face of the visitor.

"Major Morley! what on earth are you doing here?" Said James.

"Your country needs you Captain James" said Morley

"Oh no not bloody zombies again" groaned James.

"I'm afraid so, and I want you back in Afghan in 24 hours" said the Major

James stared at the American then reluctantly held the door open and said, "you better come in"

Morley passed across the threshold and into the impressive entrance hall.

James pushed the door shut and turned to the American.

"You know I am not in the army anymore" said James.

"That's just a technicality. You are a soldier through and through and there is a job to be done" countered the Major.

"But I am just getting over my injuries, I am not in any kind of shape"

Morley looked James up and down and ran his tongue across his bottom lip "you look in pretty good shape to me"

James stared pointedly at the American "And how is Major Beck?"

Morley cleared his throat and broke into a shy smile "Jonathan is fine. Since he left the army he has opened a lingerie boutique which is a big hit... And we have just moved into a small flat together in Mayfair, near the American Embassy. I have taken a job as military attaché so we can be together...but I am not here to talk about me"

"James" the Major pursued "we have reliable intel which confirms that the Taliban are at it again, except this time there are no half measures. They are are rounding up thousands of civilians and building a zombie army with the aim of overwhelming the ANA in one fell swoop."

"Surely you can knock out the main production centre with air strikes and mop up on the ground after" said James

"It's not that simple" replied Morley "they have a completely decentralised and highly mobile operation. We simply do not have the resources on the ground anymore, or the political will, to undertake an operation of that scale."

"Then what are you going to do?"

"We will have to equip the ANA to deal with the zombies as they break cover through local actions. That means getting down and dirty as we did in Camp Bastion that night" explained the Major.

"Ok, makes sense but where do I come in?" Queried James

"Are you kidding me? You and your section have the only real experience of dealing with this type of weapon. Your knowledge is invaluable. Captain, I need you and your people to pass on what you know quickly and effectively, I need you to teach the ANA how to neutralise this threat."

Captain James was silent for a time. Then nodded and said "How long?"

"Couple o' months at the most. Home for Christmas" confirmed Morley.

"And the Army has agreed to detach two section?" Pursued James.

"Yes, they are prepped and ready to go"

"...And Private Dawes?" Asked James with some trepidation.

"Already in Afghanistan awaiting your arrival. She was already on a mini deployment training medics there"

"I expect she is not best pleased" Said James in an undertone.

"why do you say that Captain?" Asked Morley.

"We didn't part on the best of terms" admitted James.

Morley's brow furrowed "is there something I need to know?"

James let out a slow breath "Private Dawes and I entertained certain...feelings for each other at one time and after we returned from the last tour we met up to discuss our future..."

"And it didn't work out?" Asked Morley

"No, we went out for dinner and I said something stupid about ordering her food for her. She took it the wrong way and before I know it she has thrown her bread roll at me and stormed out."

Morley nodded slowly "that's tough"

"Your telling me" said James, "it wasn't one of those soft floury baps either, it was a crusty granary roll... She could have had my eye out"

James ran his fingers through his hair. "Since then we have hardly spoken. She isn't answering my calls and when I saw her at Private Smiths funeral, it just didn't seem right to raise it"

Morley watched James closely "I cannot let anything jeopardise this mission. if there is going to be a problem I will have Private Dawes stood down"

"No" said James setting his mouth into a determined line "we can be professional, we will get the job done"

"Ok" said Morley. "Get your kit together and report to Brize Norton at 1500 hours tomorrow for transportation to Camp Bastion along with the rest of Two Section"

James nodded and saw Morley to the door. The Major turned and drew a thick envelop out of his inside pocket.

"This is your temporary commission and your orders"

James took them and after a brief farewell the American was gone.

The reinstated Captain closed the door and slumped into a nearby chair. "Oh god" he said "I am so completely screwed!"

**a/n- thank you to everyone for your reviews so far, we hope you enjoy this new chapter**


	7. An Old Friend Returns

James opened his eyes and looked across at the members of two section sitting in a line along the bulkhead of the Hercules transporter. Kinders met his gaze and James nodded and half smiled in acknowledgement.

They were nearing the end of their flight to Camp Bastion and James was still reeling mentally from the events which had unfolded over the last 24 hours. He could not believe that the morning before he had been at home in his lumberjack shirt and riggers gloves trying to unblock that troublesome downstairs toilet and now he was back in the army, on his way to Afghanistan and charged with a critical mission. More than any of that though he could not believe that in a few short hours he would be seeing Molly again.

To say the intervening events had verged on the surreal would be an understatement. After Major Morley had left him he had fixed himself a snack and sat down to read his orders. The situation in theatre was much as Morley had described in their brief interview and it was clear that something needed to be done.

His specific orders had, however, nearly made him spit out the Coco Pops he had been munching. It was a typical army response to the chaos of that frantic night at Bastion. Their hair-brained scheme to deal with the zombies then had been turned into a series of regulations and processes, standard orders and specifications. His paddling pool was now a 'Type 1 Portable Rubber Subject Immersion Tank' whilst his lounging position in the water had become the 'Standard Hostile Attraction Attitude' (which had, unfortunately, been shortened to SHAAtt in the instructions).

This suite of instructions would now form the curriculum for their training mission with the ANA, complete with flow charts, diagrams and exercises. Mansfield Mike had already started calling it 'Zombie Studies 101'.

Once he had completed reading his orders James had spent some time planning his approach to the mission. He then grabbed some dinner and had an early night.

The next morning he had woken early, packed a bag and left a vague note for his parents who were away visiting friends. He then headed for the rail station and caught the first train to Aldershot for his appointment with the regimental outfitters.

He had expected a short visit to the outfitters, but was not anticipating a rather thorough measuring session by two giggling female assistants wielding soft measuring tapes. They appeared to be particularly keen on the accuracy if his inside leg and seat dimensions and to ensure his combat trousers 'fitted just right' which turned out to mean on the very low slung side. He feared he may have some difficulty keeping his trousers up unless he stood legs akimbo for most of the tour. Strangest of all, however, was the fact that the shop manager denied having two female assistants working that day when James raised the incident with him.

Once he had the bare necessities of his kit sorted out it was up to Brize Norton to meet two section and prepare for departure. James was keen to see the lads again. They had been very kind in trying to persuade him not to leave the army and understanding and supportive when he had confirmed his final decision.

As he had walked into the departure lounge he was met by Major Morley who indicated that he should follow him into a side room. On entering he was confronted by the very last person he expected to see, Mrs Smith.

James hesitated and looked at Major Morley questioningly. The American nodded "it's Ok Captain, I have asked Mrs Smith here today to discuss a particularly ...delicate aspect of the mission"

James grew even more confused and asked "what aspect?"

Morley turned to Mrs Smith and nodded. She then looked directly at James and began "last time we met Captain was at Dylan's funeral...I was very upset and said some harsh things"

James shook his head "not at all Mrs Smith, it was a very difficult time for you, I completely understand"

Mrs Smith had nodded and continued "my boys meant everything to me and loosing Dylan seemed like the end. The worst bit was that it all seemed so meaningless, a tiny bleed and gone..."

James pursed his lips "it was a terrible and unexpected tragedy"

Mrs Smith swallowed and looked at Morley "then the Major here came to see me and said that there was a way that Dylan's death could be turned to some good..."

At that point the door to the room had slowly opened and someone came shuffling in slowly. James looked around and started up in horror as a pair of red eyes glared at him from a mucus covered face"

James grabbed a chair and shouted " get behind me both of you. Let me get this seat off and I'll give this monster a new set of antlers!"

Mrs Smith held up her hand "no Captain, look its our Dylan come to help you in Afghan"

James stared in disbelief then slowly lowered the chair. "What have you done Morley. This is monstrous"

"We need to pursue every opportunity to understand and undermine the enemy Captain." Explained the American "We also need to be able to give the ANA the best possible training. What better way than to have a zombie as part of the training detachment"

Mrs Smith had reached out and touched James arm "don't be angry Captain. I gave my agreement because I knew that Dylan would have wanted to serve his country again and stick it to the Taliban. It's also lovely to have a man about the house again, he's no trouble, keeps his room nice and tidy and, because he likes his meat raw, I hardly have to do any extra cooking"

James looked at her and said gently "but look at him..."

"Oh I don't mind that." Smiled Mrs Smith "He always was a bit of a snotty boy and red around the eyes after a good night out"

James had then looked at Morley "but surely he is a danger..."

"No" said the Major "We have been able to modify the pathogen to avoid the more ...challenging behaviours"

James took a long breath, shook his head then shrugged. "Ok but I don't know how I am going to tell the rest of the section or how they are going to react"

"That is something I will leave to you to deal with Captain" said the Major with a smile.

"Thanks a bunch" thought James

James looked at Smurf, or what used to be Smurf. "Say your goodbyes...private, then join the rest of the section in the departure lounge." He had then nodded to Major Morley and Mrs Smith and walked out.

In the small departure lounge he spotted the group of familiar figures and strode towards them.

Kinders spotted the advancing figure and called the lads to attention. James could not resist a smile and an "at ease you massive cockwombles!"

As they relaxed his smile was returned from every face in the section.

"We knew you wouldn't be able to keep away sir" said Kinders

"One last mission Corporal and I am done" said James

"If you say so sir" returned Kinders with a grin.

Mansfield Mike had then bowled over and shook James' hand. "Would you believe it sir, me part of a crack unit being sent on a special mission"

"Must be an admin error" put in Brains "Regimental clerk thought it said crap unit and put you at the top of the list!"

"Alright you lot" said Kinders "let's get our kit together and..." He had tailed off as he noticed the rest of two section turning as one towards the entrance to the departure lounge and staring open mouthed at the latest arrival.

James had glanced over his shoulder, bit his lip and then cleared his throat. "Two section, we will be joined on this mission by Private Dylan Smith as a um...special adviser. He is one of the team and will be treated as such...that is an order. Carry on Corporal"

Kinders had snapped out of his trance and harried the section out onto the tarmac and into the waiting plain.

Now as they started their decent towards Camp Bastion James' mind was filled with doubts and concerns. Could he ensure the success of the mission, how would the section react to a zombie in their ranks and most of all what in the world was he going to say to Molly?


	8. Chapter 8 Camp Bastion

Chapter 8 Camp Bastion

James led his section out of the rear door of the Hercules transporter and onto the Tarmac of the landing strip serving Camp Bastion. Although early in the morning, the day was already warm and a dry wind was sending clouds of dust billowing across the runway. Little grains of sand prickled James' skin and settled on his clothes and in his hair. Afghan grime was again working its way into his very pores.

The men of two section were quiet and pensive. The shuffling figure bringing up the rear of the short column of soldiers had cast a pall over the outward journey. No one seemed to want to go near Smurf. He was the subject of quick glances and furrowed brows, mumbled conversations and sad shakes of the head.

Smurf himself had sat impassive the whole flight, looking straight ahead. He reacted to direct commands but seemed oblivious to anything else. The burning red eyes were unreadable, his slow, rhythmic breathing ominous.

The section filed into a waiting bus parked on the edge of the runway which then drove slowly towards the main camp complex.

James gazed through the window of the bus at the passing buildings and parked vehicles. The camp was much smaller than when he had last seen it. The winding down of military activity now well advanced. He hoped he might catch a glimpse of Molly on the way through but there were few people about at this early hour.

The bus came to a halt at the edge of the main parade ground and the section piled out and organised their kit.

"Ok corporal" said James "get them settled in then get some scoff. Mission briefing at 0900"

"Yes sir" said Kinders, then hesitantly "Sir, will ...private Smith be sharing our quarters?"

Bas Vegas, who was standing nearby, said "Humans only isn't it sir?"

"Yer" put in Mansfield Mike "won't he need to sleep in a coffin with earth from Newport in it?"

"No, that's vampires you fuckwit!" Put in Brains.

"Settle down!" Ordered Kinders then he turned back to Captain James with a questioning look.

"He is a member of the section Corporal and is to be treated no differently" confirmed James

Kinders looked uncertain but then nodded and marched the section off to find their quarters and grab some breakfast.

James wished he was as convinced as he pretended to be but in reality he had deep misgivings. There was, however, a seed of hope buried deep within him - the memory of another new arrival who he thought would threaten the coherence and effectiveness of the section but who proved herself to be the best soldier amongst them...

James smiled to himself then strode off to find his quarters and dump his kit. After a hurried breakfast in a near deserted officers mess he went to find the central administration block and report in to his new CO Lieutenant Colonel de la Billiere OBE.

James was a little nervous as the Colonel had a formidable reputation as a leader of men, a real soldier's soldier and an utter lunatic.

James was ushered into the Colonel's office shortly after reporting in. His new CO was sitting behind a large desk, studying a file.

"Ah!" He said as he spotted James "welcome Captain errr"

"James sir, Charles James" said James

"Charles James what?" Said the colonel somewhat confused

"Nothing Sir, just Charles James" said James a little uncertainly

"Don't be daft man you can't have two first names and no surname, what are you royalty?" Said de la Billiere

"No sir, I ..."

"Listen" continued the Colonel sternly "you're not going to get anywhere in the army without a surname. I, for example, have three which is why I have progressed to Colonel while you are only a Captain"

"Errrr yes sir, of course sir" said James bewildered.

"Right, good. Now Captain, do you hunt?" Pursued the Colonel.

"Do I what sir?"

"Do you hunt man, you know ride with the hounds?"

"Umm no sir"

"Don't blame you, since the bloody ban its no fun any more, riding around the countryside chasing a smelly cuddly toy."

"Indeed sir" suggested James desperately trying to find a firm foothold in the swirling waters of the Colonel's conversational style.

"Anyway, you're here to run this zombie school, is that right?" Said the Colonel

James, somewhat relieved to be moving towards a vaguely coherent conversation answered in the affirmative.

"Good show. Never liked the living dead, no breeding."

The colonel picked up a document on his desk "You are to make contact with the ANA liaison officer, a captain...Azzizi, as soon as possible and take it from there"

James smiled "yes sir, I have served with Azzizi before, a good man"

"Excellent" said the Colonel "Any questions?"

"No sir, thank you. I just need to track down my medic Private Dawes and I will be all set" James confirmed

"Private Molly Dawes?" Said the Colonel

"Yes" said James somewhat taken aback

"Oh I can tell you where she is - in the custody of the Military Police"

James was fuming as he strode towards the detention block. Absent without leave! In Kabul! Visiting that bloody girl! Is there nothing that woman wouldn't do to make his life as difficult as possible.

He checked himself and took a breath. Charging in all guns blazing would not be the thing to do. He knew Molly well enough to realise that. She could dig her heels in and refuse to cooperate, compounding her offence. He had had enough trouble convincing the Colonel to sign the release form, arguing for some time that Molly was essential to the mission (which she was) and that she would not do anything so stupid again (which unfortunately she probably would).

He entered the main office and handed the release form to the staff sergeant who examined it briefly, grabbed a bunch of keys and asked James to follow him. They walked down a long corridor with cells regularly spaced along its length. The sergeant stopped by a particular door and opened a small viewing hatch. "On your feet" he called through the window "officer to see you"

He then unlocked the door and stood aside to let James enter.

"Thank you sergeant" said James, who took a breath and strode in putting on his sternest of stern faces.

The cell was small with a bunk at one end. By the bunk stood Molly at attention. James' heart leapt at the sight of her and his breath caught in his throat. His palms began to sweat and his legs trembled beneath him so he had to think hard about placing one foot in front of the other to avoid stumbling.

How could she have this effect on him? She had been living in his head for months, her features carefully preserved like a precious exhibit in a museum, to be occasionally turned over and examined in his minds eye before being returned to their place.

Now Molly was in front of him and he realised how inadequate memory was in the face of the living, breathing reality - the way the light played on her hair, the impossible green of her eyes, the subtle freckling around her nose...

Molly remained rigidly at attention, unmoving save for the subtle rise and fall of her breathing.

"Stand easy Dawes" said James. The movement was executed quickly and sharply. The eyes remained stubbornly focused on a point on the wall opposite.

James moved to intercept her line of sight and he detected a subtle flicker in her gaze as he entered her field of vision.

"Steady James" he thought, "this needs delicacy and tact with a good sprinkling of patience and understanding...oh bugger it"

" What in the name of all that is holy possessed you to undertake such an ill conceived, addle brained, half arsed misadventure?" James began "Have you even the slightest inkling of the danger you put yourself and Bashira in? Are you able to comprehend the smallest part of the repercussions your actions could have had on your family, your comrades and the success of our mission here?"

Molly continued to stare ahead but a quivering of her lips betrayed the inner turmoil she was feeling. She then looked at him for the first time and her eyes expressed a clear challenge.

"Are you surprised I did what I did?" She said.

This threw James completely. He opened his mouth then shut it. Was he really surprised. Was this not wholly in character. Would he have expected anything else. Didn't this response show a growing maturity and self awareness in the woman in front of him. Was he ever going to stop asking himself questions in the form of an internal monologue and get on with the story?

"No not really" he said eventually and let out a long breath. "Come on Dawes, if we are going to save the world from zombies we need to get you out of here and back where you can do some good."

With that he turned and left the cell. After a short pause Molly followed.

They made their way through the camp together in silence. James wanted to say so much but the restaurant incident was like a barrier between them. He knew he had to try and get over it somehow but couldn't find an appropriate opening. He resolved that the best way was to keep it professional, concentrate on the task in hand and take it from there.

"Briefing at 0900 Dawes" said James "we have a lot to do and not much time"

"Yes sir" returned Molly

"Better get yourself sorted and meet us all in the ops tent"

"Yes sir" again from Molly

"Oh this is going really well" thought James ironically "yes, sir, no sir, three bags full sir. Right, let's see her 'yes sir' me after this..."

"Oh and Dawes" said James aloud "Smurf is back as a zombie. He will be acting as a special adviser to us during the mission. He's got the whole living dead look but apparently isn't dangerous"

James glanced across at Molly but she wasn't there. He looked behind and found her stock still where she had stopped, looking at him in disbelief

"I'm sorry Dawes but there was no easy way to say it" admitted James

He then filled her in on the details. He concluded by saying "I know this is difficult. I know you and Smurf were good friends. I am not going to tell you how you should act towards him. You are more than capable of make your own choices about that ...and other things. But I need your help to make this mission work. I need the section to function properly as a unit."

James hoped she had spotted the indirect acknowledgement of his mistake at the restaurant. It seemed as if she had since for the first time her features softened.

She nodded and he thanked her then they parted briefly to make their own preparations for the briefing.

James made his way to the ops tent and set out the briefing material. Shortly after two section filed in and took their seats, Smurf shuffling in last and sitting apart.

Molly then came in and was quickly surrounded by her old comrades, keen to welcome her and ask how she was. James watched her as she smiled and joined in the banter. Molly then glanced at Smurf and walked over to him.

"Alright Smurf?" she said kindly "its good to see you again too. Wouldn't be the same without you"

Smurf looked up at her slowly his features unreadable.

Molly scrutinised his face closely. "Come and see me after the briefing. Think I might have some nasal spray which might help that. I'll also see if I can find some eye drops. Have you looking like your old self in no time."

James looked over at the rest of the section. They were taking note. "Thank you Molly" he thought.

James then called them to order and ran through the briefing. He summarised the aim and objectives of their mission and then allocated tasks, using various charts and diagrams to illustrate what he meant and wielding a long wooden pointer like a cutlass. Brains and Fingers would instruct on the preparation and filling of the pool. Dangleberries and Mansfield Mike would oversee the Equipment for Aural Attraction and Associated Repertoire or EAAAR for short.

When they looked confused Kinders confirmed "music and sound system" and they both smiled and nodded.

Molly would teach Post Immersion Care (PIC) and the rest of the section would run the Hostile Restraint and Immersion Procedure with Smurf acting as stand in Zombie.

"And what about you sir?" Asked Nude-Nut with a smile.

"I will provide oversight" said James. "...and teach the SHAAtt position" he added in an undertone to general hilarity.

"Ok" said James "settle down. I will make contact with the ANA liaison later this morning then lessons start this afternoon. Dismissed"

Their mission had begun.


	9. Chapter 9

All eyes were on the computer screen, focussed on a few hundred pixels in the centre of the display. The countdown had started in earnest, the red figures ticking over inexorably.

The tension was palpable in the room. James glanced across at his section, their faces eerily illuminated in the darkened ops tent by the light from the single monitor. They looked exhausted. The last few hours had been a whirlwind of frantic activity, culminating in this one final act.

Molly was by his side, so close he could feel her warmth. As the critical moment approached she unconsciously clung to his arm, her grip tightening as the numbers reached zero...

Twelve hours earlier James had entered the ANA Headquarters for his first meeting with the liaison Officer, his old friend Captain Azizi.

He was greeted warmly by his Afghan counterpart and soon they were sitting in Azizi's office sipping tea.

"Whatever possessed you to volunteer for this mission?" asked James

"Ah Charles, you know what it's like being a minor character in a bigger story, you have to take every opportunity offered however implausible or degrading" said Azizi.

James nodded sympathetically. "Yes we have all been there my friend. I remember once having to wear a particularly awful Aran Cardigan to get a gig...Anyway can you tell me where we are with recruitment and equipment?"

Azizi grimaced "we have a shortage in the quantity and quality of both. Suitable men cannot be recruited because they are worried about insurgent reprisals on their families. Appropriate equipment is also hard to come by in Afghanistan and although we have received funding from the British and Americans, corruption on the ground means only a fraction of the money is getting through to buy what we need."

"The same old issues then" said James and Azizi nodded ruefully.

They discussed some details around the organisation of the first training session that afternoon and then James took his leave.

After lunch two section formed up and marched to the main parade ground to meet their first intake of trainees.

As they arrived they came across a ramshackle company of ANA who seemed to be unloading a pile of old junk from the back of a dilapidated truck.

James looked at them in distaste "Kinders can you clear this rabble out of the way, they are clearly a labour company who have mistaken this area for the camp dump."

"Yes sir" said Kinders and doubled away. There then followed an animated discussion between the corporal and an ANA NCO who was in charge of the detail. After a time Kinders stopped gesticulating, put his hands on his hips and looked over at James. The corporal then gestured for the NCO to follow him and they both started to walk back towards James.

"You are not going to believe this sir" said Kinders" but these are our guys and that stuff is their gear."

James stared at the Corporal in disbelief, then turned his attention to the Afghan NCO who smiled at him revealing a truly horrendous mouthfull of rotting teeth and said "Zombie School yes? You teach me shat"

"Christ on a bike" said James then turned to Kinders once more.

"Ok Corporal, let's get them into sections and allocate tasks and trainers. I am sure it will not be beyond the wit of man to get these men whipped into shape"

"This mission is completely beyond the wit of man, machine or god in his heaven" said James in despair a few hours later.

He was addressing Kinders in the ops tent after having taken a series of reports from his instructors.

He had thought the SHAAtt session had been bad enough. That class had been made up of those members of the ANA company thought most likely to produce the required biological markers to attract the zombies. Suffice to say that the Afghan NCO had been among their number.

Worst still that individual had been designated as the interpreter for the company and it turned out that his English had been acquired in the main from watching Mr Bean videos. As a result his efforts at translation comprised of a series of grotesque mimes and facial expressions which where open to very wide interpretation.

Somehow James was able to convey some very basic instructions and they had managed to start the first task which was an examination of the detail's physical assets.

Molly had looked decidedly green around the gills as each man had removed his combat top to reveal bulbous paunches of varying shapes and sizes most accompanied by a thick, sweaty mat of covering hair.

"Talk about operation bulge" she had commented before walking quickly away to find her own class.

Even Smurf seemed unable to maintain his normally inscrutable air and moved off at near jogging pace to join his allocated session.

James had persevered, asking the men to enter the pool provided and take up the prescribed position. Unfortunately, their combined weight had been too much for the rubber container which had upended sending the soldiers aqua planing across the parade ground, eventually coming to rest at its far end like a of a pod of beached whales.

James had hoped at the time that the other sessions were going better but was soon disabused. Brains and Fingers had been the first to report back to James on their class which involved the deployment of the immersion tank equipment.

Brains had started by describing the pools as a 'heap of shit'.

Fingers had elaborated: "They are single skinned and the stitching is pretty poor. You need at least 3 ply heavy gauge or you may as well forget it. Worst still there's no non return valve and the drainage hole is wrongly positioned so you end up bailing the thing out to get rid of the left over solution. They are just no good sir"

Next came Dangleberries and Mansfield Mike. The latter was holding a battered metal object in his hand.

"What's that private?" Asked James

"It's their sound system" replied Mansfield Mike

"But it looks like a speaking trumpet" said James

"That it is sir" replied the private evenly.

"Ok" said James in a beleaguered tone then turned hopefully to the other private. "Dangleberries what about the music itself?"

Dangleberries grimaced "well sir the singers and musicians are steeped in the traditions of Afghan folk music which features a mix of Persian melodies, Arab scales and Indian compositional principles as well as sounds from ethnic groups such as..."

"It's pretty crap" cut in Mansfield Mike

Dangleberries blew out a breath "yep that pretty much describes it sir"

James had dismissed them in exasperation. Now as James shared his frustration with Kinders, he was at an utter loss as to what to do.

"I am sure we can get the men in shape eventually" said the corporal hopefully

"You are probably right." James agreed. "It's the equipment that really worries me. It is simply not fit for purpose and the ANA have no way of accessing anything better."

James ran his fingers through his hair. "You may as well get some food and rest Corporal." He eventually said "I think we will need all our strength tomorrow if we are going to stand a chance of making any progress with our trainees."

Kinders nodded "Yes sir. Hopefully we will get some mail from home soon, that should cheer us up."

James chuckled then stopped as a thought hit him "Kinders" he said "You are a genius. Round up the section and meet me in the ops tent in 30 minutes."

Kinders frowned "ok boss but what's this about?"

James smiled "we are going to open up a home front. But first I need to talk to the Colonel"

James sprinted to the admin block and caught the Colonel in his office. He breathlessly explained what had happened that day and his proposed solution. The Colonel listened closely then ruminated for a while before telling him to get out of his office before he put him on a charge.

James tried again, explaining his thinking in more detail as the Colonel tried to edge towards the door in a bid to escape. Seeing that he was not going to get rid of this madman without agreeing to something he acquiesce to the plan with certain conditions which James readily agreed to before thanking the Colonel and running out the door to brief two section.

They were already mustered in the ops tent when James walked in.

"Ok, listen up. Today was pretty much a disaster all around and we have to do something about that. The men we can train but the equipment is crap and needs replacing. The Afghans have no money and no way to access supplies quickly, whilst taking the official army route will require us going blind on specification and procurement paperwork just to get the wrong thing six months down the line.

"Looks like we are out of options then aren't we sir?" Said Molly.

"Not necessarily Dawes. Where there is a will there is a way." Said James maintaining eye contact with the medic for just a little longer than was necessary. James thought he detected a slight blush emerge on Molly's cheeks before he continued.

"Most of the original equipment we used to beat the zombies we got from home. So let's go their again. I need you to contact your nearest and dearest. They need to join the fight against the Taliban and do the one thing we can't. They need to go shopping!"

Half an hour later the ops tent was filled with a hubbub of voices as two section telephoned relatives at home to explain what was needed and place orders.

Bas Vegas called across to James "Sir, me Dad says that the Basildon Argos has got two paddling pools in stock. He can reserve them now and then pick them up when he goes to get mum from work in a couple of hours"

"Agreed private" confirmed James. Then to Kinders "keep a carefully tally of expenditure. The Colonel has only agreed to this provided we keep within a strict budget."

"Bossman" said Fingers, his hand over the mouthpiece of his phone "Mum says that she can get three of the karaoke machines we need on Amazon and she got Amazon Prime with her Lovefilm subscription so they should be there tomorrow. Only problem is she'll be at work and will have to check if our nan can come over to wait in. She's not so spritely since her hip gave out and might have trouble getting round."

"Can we commandeer transportation from somewhere?" Said James.

Fingers had a hurried exchange on the phone. "Our Dave can pick her up as part of his delivery round. She'll have to go pillion on his moped but she can probably go side saddle."

"Excellent" said James

Slowly they started to work through the list of items.

Molly was on the phone to her mum about getting waxing strips for what James described as the hairy belly brigade. As he passed her he gave her a questioning look which she answered with a thumbs up and a smile. She was clearly enjoying the unexpected shopping spree.

Suddenly Nude-Nut called over. " sir we have a problem. Me sister Tracy is in Tower Records and the assistant won't let her have 20 copies of 'The Best Sing Along Album in the World Ever'. Says its against company policy"

"Tell her to put the assistant on and give the phone to me" said James

Nude-Nut did so and handed the receiver to James "who is this?" He said "ok Darren listen to me. This is Captain James of the British Army in Afghanistan...no this isn't a wind up...yes I am a real Captain...no I have never killed anyone with my bare hands...listen Darren this is a matter of national security, I really need those CDs...no you can't have a machine gun...oh for goodness sake, ok put her on..." James shook his head at the listening soldiers.

"Hello Tracy, listen he wants your telephone number...I know he certainly sounds a bit strange but will you do it for your country? Ok, ok, that's great thanks Tracy..." Then after a short pause "yes?... You've got them? That's great you're a star". James handed the phone back to Nude-Nut saying "I think your sister has just gone way above and beyond"

Kinders then came over. Bossman, we are nearly there but we may have an issue. We are short four paddling pools and only have around 400 quid left. We are also drawing a blank on suppliers. We've cleared out all the Argos stores within travel distance and no one else stocks them.

"Damn it, we can't fail now we are so close. Come on everyone think" pressed James.

Then from a corner of the ops tent came the slow shuffle of feet. Smurf emerged from the shadows and stopped on the edge of the group of soldiers. His brow furrowed and his lips contorted. Then from the back of his throat came a gurgling sound that turned into a plaintive moaning "uuuurgh nuuurgh, uuuurgh nuuurgh"

"I think he's trying to tell us something" said Molly "go on Smurf, spit it out"

The zombie swallowed and tried again "uuuurgh nuuuurgh, uuuurgh nuuuurgh"

Molly shook her head but Mansfield Mike was staring at Smurf with a clouded expression on his face which slowly cleared as comprehension dawned.

"sir" he said "I think he is saying 'why don't you try e-bay'"

Smurf slowly turned to Mansfield Mike and raised his finger to his nose whilst lifting his other hand to point at the private.

"He's saying your right" exclaimed James. "Well done both of you"

Mansfield Mike beamed at Smurf and patted him on the back "nice shout mate"

"Brains, let's get the computer fired up and see what we can find" ordered James.

Brains moved over to the machine and started typing. In a few moments he said "Yes, we have an internet supplier that has four pools available. There's 10 minutes left but the bidding is already at £350 pounds"

"Ok" said James "let's wait out then come in with a minute to go."

The minutes ticked away slowly. There was no change in bidding activity. Brains turned to James. The Captain bit his lip then nodded "bid £360" Brains turned back to the keyboard and entered the amount.

"Outbid sir" he said

"Ok £370" said James

The clicking of keys..." Outbid sir" came the response.

"Shit" said James. He glanced at Molly who looked steadily at him then nodded.

"£400" said James not taking his eyes from her

"Are you sure sir?" said Kinders

"Positive" said James with a smile.

"We are the top bidder sir" confirmed Brian's

All eyes were on the computer screen, focussed on a few hundred pixels in the centre of the display. The countdown had started in earnest, the red figures ticking over inexorably.

The tension was palpable in the room. James glanced across at his section, their faces eerily illuminated in the darkened ops tent by the light from the single monitor. They looked exhausted. The last few hours had been a whirlwind of frantic activity, culminating in this one final act.

Molly was by his side, so close he could feel her warmth. As the critical moment approached she unconsciously clung to his arm, her grip tightening as the numbers reached zero...

"We've won them!" Said Brains triumphantly.

The room erupted in cheers. Soldiers hugged each other and jumped up and down. James and Molly turned to each other instinctively and moved to embrace but both hesitated and then the moment was gone.

Molly blushed and said "Well done sir"

"Well done all of us" he said

He then addressed the room at large "Great effort lads. Now let's make sure all our purchases get to Brize asap. We need them loaded up and on the next transport out here pronto"

He turned back to Molly and returned her smile. They were back in business.


	10. Chapter 10 The Run

Chapter 10 The Run

They were together at last, bodies entwined, moving as one. Passion coursed through their veins as they explored every inch of each other, seeking out the secret places, unlocking new pleasures, the experience raised to new heights by the thrill of discovery.

James traced the line of the beautiful neck with his tongue, moving up to the delicate conch like ear. "Oh Molly, Molly, Molly" he whispered into it before moving across the stubbly cheek in search of the soft inviting lips.

James suddenly paused in confusion. Stubble? He drew away to find a man's face smiling up at him "Its Morley actually but you can call me anything you like lover boy"

James yelled in surprise and disgust and pulled away sharply, over balancing and falling off the side of the bed. As he hit the floor he awoke and sat up, breathing hard.

"Oh thank god that was a dream!" He said to himself and started to disentangle the sheet which had become entwined around his legs. He then sat on the bed and glanced across at his alarm clock. 0500. He rubbed his eyes and contemplated going back to sleep but abandoned the idea quickly and went in search of his running gear.

Just before he left his quarters he picked up his iPod,put in his earphones and selected his favourite running album. As the first track came on he started to sing along

"I remember when rock was young,

Me and Molly had so much fun"

He smiled to himself. He'd done it again, it was Suzie not Molly!

With a shake of the head he left his quarters and ran into the darkness.

James loved these early morning runs. It gave him an opportunity to think, to review progress on the mission and decide what needed to happen next. It also gave him time to think about Molly, think about their recent conversations and where he might now stand in her affections.

If he was honest with himself, he had little to go on. The last month had been incredibly busy with no time for anything other than working, eating and sleeping. The few moments they had had together they had spoken about some aspect or other of the mission.

James was sure that he had been forgiven for the fiasco at the restaurant but it was very difficult to explore where they took things next, if anywhere, given the lack of time or space to discuss things properly and the need to maintain the pretence of an appropriate relationship between ranks.

James ran on, the next song filled his ears:

"And I think it's going to be a long long time,

Till touchdown brings me round again to find..."

He skirted the airstrip and headed towards the warehouse complex. It had been just over three weeks ago that their new training equipment had arrived, brought together by their friends and relatives back at home. The packages had been accompanied by letters and parcels with personal gifts and messages for all the members of two section and the unloading had turned into something of an event which James, as always, had insisted on overseeing.

"Brains, just a little one for you" said James handing him a small box wrapped in brown paper "but you never know, it might inflate into something a lot bigger and more exciting!" This was met with howls and wolf whistles from the rest of the troops while Mansfield Mike called out "It's your mail order girlfriend!".

James then picked up another packet and shook it, causing it to rattle loudly. "Fingers, either your mother has sent you a set of maracas or her latest batch of baking hasn't survived the trip"

Fingers grimaced, "And she was going to use the new stag baking tin I got her for her birthday. I told her to use bubble wrap"

James had then spotted a letter to Molly which he could tell from the handwriting was from her sister Bella.

"Dawes, do I see a letter from your little sister among all this junk mail?" smiled James.

Molly came forward eagerly but James held the slim envelope back "not so fast private, you need to earn your treats around here. We need a suitable task lads!" Called James to a chorus of cheers.

"Truth or dare sir!" Suggested Nude-Nut.

"Ah excellent" smiled James. "Dawes what will it be?"

Molly rolled her eyes and shook her head "truth" she said with a smile

"Truth it is" called James "gentlemen do we have a question?"

Bas Vegas responded "which one of us did you dream of last Dawsey?"

More cat calls erupted. James knew that Molly fed off this kind of banter and would fire back a quick retort but to his surprise she hesitated for a moment and appeared tongue tied. She shot James a quick glance and then looked down at the ground. James was about to step in but a moment later Molly had looked up with a mischievous face and responded: "I dreamt that you and I were walking down the aisle Baz"

Baz Vegas beamed but Molly hadn't finished

"...of my local Tesco to get you more cream for your farmers!"

Two section cheered and James presented her the letter with a bow.

James ran passed the ANA barracks and another song started

"You could never know what it's like,

Your blood like winter freezes just like ice"

Just over two weeks ago James' training detail, or what he called the hairy belly brigade, had been formed up outside the barrack block. When the first of their number had been led away by Molly to a temporary med tent which had been set up nearby the pair were the subject of what James imagined to be fairly ribald comments from the remaining soldiers. However these were short lived as a loud rending sound was heard from the tent followed by a blood curdling scream from the Afghan. Molly could then be heard saying "oh don't be such a baby, you wait 'till I do your bikini line"

Several minutes and waxing strips later the screaming had turned into a hoarse whimpering and the man eventually emerged from the tent clutching his belly with both hands and walking with a strange knock kneed gait. Molly followed him out with a new waxing strip in her hand and called "next!"

The waxing session had been followed by an introduction to the abdominal crunch and the principles of a low fat diet before James then took his class on a 5k run around the base. Two weeks on and he was pleased with the progress of the group, although there was still a way to go.

James joined the main road through the base and headed towards the large parade ground.

"...laughing like children, living like lovers,

Rolling like thunder under the covers..."

The previous week James had joined one of Dangleberries and Mansfield Mike's music classes. The Afghans were struggling with some of the lyrics and Mansfield Mike was running through the pronunciation.

"Right listen its 'Sweeeeeet Caroline bah, bah bah'. See you need to stretch the vowel sound in the first word"

The detail sang out "Sweeeeety carrot line, nah, nah, nah"

"No, no listen again..."

James had glanced across at Smurf who was standing motionless at the edge of the parade ground. The zombie was never too far away from Mansfield Mike these days. He was encouraged that the two soldiers had formed some sort of strange bond, aided by the fact that Mansfield Mike seemed able to interpret Smurfs attempts at speech. However, the other members of two section continued to be standoffish and it was clear that there was still some progress to be made in that quarter. As he ran, James turned over this conundrum in his mind for the umpteenth time.

At the corner of the camps main admin block James took a sharp left and cannoned into someone sprinting in the opposite direction. His feet slipped on the dusty ground and he fell over, landing on his back with the other runner on top of him in a tangle of limbs. The collision knocked the air out of his lungs and he lay gasping whilst the person on top of him seemed to be in a similar state.

They lay panting in this position unable to move. James' vision was obscured by something and he raised his hand to his face to clear it away only to discover that it was the long brown hair of the person who had run into him. Brushing it aside revealed Molly's face just a few inches from his.

In his ears the song had changed again

"I hope you don't mind that I put down in words,

How wonderful life is while your in the world"

Molly's eyebrows arched in surprise. "Sorry sir" she gasped. "Are you alright?"

James removed his earphones

"I'm fine private, you just knocked the wind out of me. I think you need to wear a bell to warn people you are coming"

"I've got a pair of pants with one of them on at home" she said

They both laughed which made James very aware of Molly's body moving against his. Molly's smile faded and she looked deep into his eyes. James cleared his throat "errr I was going to say something but I seem to have lost my current thread completely" he admitted.

"Don't worry sir, you just need to go back to the last one and follow the link, always works for me" said Molly

James grinned. "I think we better get up."

Molly nodded and rolled off of him and onto her feet. She offered him her hand and he grabbed it and also rose in one easy movement.

"Couldn't you sleep either?" He asked.

"No sir, I can't seem to get a calmness in my night" said Molly "it just feels wrong"

"I know what you mean" said James

They stared at each other for a long moment then slowly moved closer together.

In the distance the engine of a lorry was revving. It grew louder and was followed by men shouting.

James tore his eyes away from Molly with a frown. "What's going on over there?"

As he spoke a large army truck careered through the metal gates of the camps main entrance, sending the sentries scattering in all directions. It screeched to a halt just in front of James and the rear tale gate crashed down revealing an interior crammed with shuffling, moaning figures, red eyes burning and mucus dripping. As James watched they started to jump down from the truck one by one. Among them were small children and James couldn't help thinking they looked like strange zombie gnomes.

He turned to Molly. "Raise the alarm private, we are under attack!"


	11. Chapter 11 First Contact

Chapter 11 First Contact

Molly nodded and doubled away.

James turned back to the truck. Most of the zombies had now jumped down and were starting to disperse in all directions. A group of ANA soldiers doubled over to the truck and raises their weapons.

James ran towards them waiving his arms. "No, no, no!" He shouted "civilians, children!"

The soldiers hesitated unsure of what to do. James racked his brain for the right Pashto phrase."Na Na, wadrega atfal!"

The soldiers nodded in understanding then one of them pointed back to the truck. James turned to see a figure emerging from the drivers cab. Despite the glowing red eyes and mucus covered mouth and chin he would have recognised that face anywhere, it would be seared on his brain 'till the end of his days. It was the face that he had seen through his rifle sight just before he had been shot over six months before. It was Badrai.

James turned back to the ANA soldiers "feel free to fill that one full of lead though" Then in Pashto "aor, aor!"

Badrai snarled and jumped onto the roof of the truck in one leap as the Afghan soldiers opened fire. Bullets thudded into the front and side of the vehicle and the windscreen shattered. The zombie ran to the back of the truck and jumped over 20 metres onto the roof of the admin block before scrambling across the top of the building and disappearing over the other side.

"How the hell did he do that ?" Wondered James to himself. He then turned to the Afghan troops and through a series of gestures and broken phrases ordered them to pursue the zombie.

A short time later, Kinders, Molly and the rest of two section came running up to James followed by the training contingent in full zombie warfare kit.

Molly had managed to change out of her running clothes and had also grabbed James' combat gear. He hurriedly pulled it on as he briefed Kinders.

"Ok corporal" he said, "we have around 30 hostiles, including women and children, dispersed around the camp. They also have some kind of super zombie among then. He seems to be capable of significant physical and mental activity including running at speed, jumping large distances and driving a heavy goods vehicle"

"Oooo, like a super zombie" said Mansfield Mike

"Or a zombie king" put in Fingers

"That would assume they have rejected a republican system of government" said Brains.

"So it could be the Zombie president?" suggested Dangleberries

"Maybe" said Brains, "or a zombie Prime Minister, depending on whether they have decided to have a separate head of state and head of government."

The rest of two section nodded thoughtfully.

"Umm, actually" said James "this particular individual has a name..." He turned to Molly "its Badrai"

Molly gasped " but I ..."

"Yes you did, but they appear to have revivified him." Said James.

Molly turned pale "do you think he is coming after me?" She asked nervously.

"There is no way of knowing what he is doing here, all we can do is be prepared. Kinders" said James turning to the corporal. "Let's have four immersion squads dispersed through the camp each with two instructors. Let's also deploy armed sentries just in case Badrai turns up."

"Yes sir" said Kinders and started rattling off instructions to the rest of the section.

The training contingent was soon split up and three squad marched off to different parts of the camp while one remained by the abandoned truck and started to deploy its equipment.

James radioed the colonel to outline the situation and the plan he had initiated. He then contacted Azizi to discuss the ANA support role, confirming that they should not engage with the zombies but try and contain them in the camp until the immersion teams where fully deployed.

James then watched carefully as the remaining squad completed its set up, guided by Molly and Mansfield Mike. The ANA NCO who was their makeshift interpreter was running around like a maniac, gesticulating and gurning as well as preparing to to enter the pool as their SHAAtt operative.

James called Mansfield Mike over. "Is he all right?" Asked James, nodding at the NCO.

"who old Aasif sir? He's fine. Does the work of two men" said Mansfield Mike confidently.

"Yer, unfortunately they are Laurel and Hardy" said Molly walking over with a smile .

Mansfield Mike bridled "oh Dawsey don't be like that, he is a treasure!"

Molly went to respond but James cut in "I know Private, you agree and he should be put in a chest a buried somewhere"

Molly grinned and went back to supervising the squad.

Kinders came over the radio "Sir, we are all set here."

James pressed his radio button "ok corporal proceed."

Shortly after Mansfield Mike gave the thumbs up and James nodded.

At a word from the private, Aasif stripped his top off and strode towards the pool, his paunch now hardly protruding over his standard issue low slung belt whilst a strategically placed balled up pair of socks also helped hint at something interesting occurring below the buckle.

James grimaced at the sight but knew the importance of building confidence in the individual in order to promote the production of the all important pheromones.

At the same time the EAAAR section switched on the karaoke machine and an Afghan private started to belt out a number in the best pub singer tradition:

"Get up

Get on up

Get up

Get on up

Stay on the scene

Get on up

Like a sex machine"

Within a few minutes the first zombies came into view, shuffling slowly towards the pool.

Aasif shifted nervously in the solution.

"Keep him calm Mansfield" ordered James "we can't risk them dispersing now we have their attention"

Mansfield Mike went over to the Afghan giving him a reassuring pat on the back and a thumbs up that seems to settle him somewhat.

Soon the first zombies were entering the pool and the restraint and immersion team swung into action.

"Gentle with those children" James cautioned, but he needn't have worried as Molly was there keeping a close eye on proceedings.

They were soon dealing with the last of the zombies and a self congratulatory air was spreading through the squad.

"Stay focussed" James cautioned, and almost to underline his words gunfire was heard in the distance followed by a shouted warning from one of the Afghan pickets.

Suddenly Badrai was among them, knocking the sentry flying and advancing on the immersion pool. Aasif sat frozen in fear whilst the rest of the squad started to panic, abandoning their equipment and recovering civilians and running towards their barrack block.

"Steady men" roared James, advancing into the chaos with drawn pistol and firing towards Badrai. The bullets thudded into the zombies chest and he staggered back but soon recovered and started to advance again.

Mansfield Mike sprinted towards the pool and started to haul Aasif out shouting at him to snap out of it and move.

This seemed to bring the Afghan out of his fear induced trance and he leapt out of the pool in a spray of water. He then sprinted past Mansfied Mike and crashed into the abandoned karaoke equipment, sending one of the pole mounted speakers toppling down square onto the privates head and knocking him out cold.

Badrai advanced on the stricken soldier, teeth bared in a terrifying snarl. James bellowed in rage and started to run towards the zombie but had only advanced a few paces before a charging figure overtook him and crashed into Badrai with bone crunching force.

The creature went flying but rolled into a crouching position and looked up in surprise and anger. Standing astride Mansfield Mike, chest heaving and red orbs burning was Smurf.

The rest of two section came sprinting into view but were stopped dead by James' shout of "wait out!"

Badrai growled from deep inside his throat but Smurf stood firm and responded with an equally menacing, guttural rumble that rose from his chest in an unambiguous challenge.

The Afghan started to back away and then turned and bounded at incredible speed towards the camps main entrance, over the remains of the shattered gates and out into the countryside beyond, easily evading the pursuing troops.

All eyes then turned to Smurf who had picked Mansfield Mike up gently in his arms and was carrying him towards Molly.

The zombie laid the unconscious figure down by her feet. Molly checked his vital signs and his head injury. She looked up at James and smiled. "He'll be fine, just a bang on the noggin and a bit of a shiner. Should wake with a bit of a head ache but that's all"

James nodded and looked at Smurf "Good work best recruit at Catterick. Now get yourself checked out by the medic."

Smurf shuffled off towards the med centre whilst Molly supervised the loading of Mansfield Mike onto a stretcher and followed behind.

Two section silently parted to make a path for Smurf through their ranks. Each man following the progress of the Zombie until he had disappeared from view.

"Right" said James "let's get this mess cleaned up. Mission debrief in one hour."

He then strode towards the admin block to report in to Colonel de la Billiere.

When James arrived at the debrief he had two section discuss the performance of each squad, their strengths and weaknesses and areas for improvement. Each squad was then called in to receive feedback. Aasif's detail was the first to troop in nervously and line up in front of the assembled trainers who where sitting in a line behind a long desk.

Kinders started off, saying that they weren't doing too badly until the Badrai incident which culminated in a bit of a disaaaster. He produced a paddle from under the table with a four on it. The rest of two section looked at him in shock and shook their heads.

Next came Brains who smiled at the assembled squad "what I like about you lot is that you came out and gave it a bit of welly. You've never done this before and it was a good effort, well done"

From under the table he produced a paddle saying at the same time "se-vern!"

Finally Dangleberries looked at the soldiers and rose from his seat. "It was good but you need full extension of the arms when you are expressing the music"

With that he fling his arms around to illustrate the point then sat down and produced his paddle with a seven on it. Brains and Dangleberries then turned to each other smiling and fanned themselves with their paddles.

James turned to the squad and said, "things to think about there lads. If it's any consolation you are my favourites"

With that the troops marched out the room.

It wasn't until gone noon that James was able to visit the med centre to check on Mansfield Mike. He was awake and joking with Molly, an ice pack pressed to his head.

"At ease Private" James said quickly as the injured man made to stand up. "How are you feeling?"

"Much better, thank you sir"

"Good. You know it could have been a lot different if it hadn't been for Private Smith" said James.

"I know sir, I owe him my life" said Mansfield Mike.

Smurf then shuffled into the room and stood waiting. "Hello mate!" Said the patient. "Fancy getting some raw steak? I can have a bit for my black eye and you can have the rest for your lunch"

Smurf let out a series of grunts to which Mansfield Mike said "Come on, it was a bit funny"

Then the two friends left the room and crossed the adjacent parade ground heading towards two sections quarters. James followed them out and watched as they entered the large tent.

The sound of cheering broke out almost immediately followed by the sound of singing:

"He's one of the living, he's one of the living, Dylan Smith he's one of the living!"

Smurf responded in a series of groans and grunts which Mansfield Mike translated:

"He says thanks very much but if he doesn't get some scoff soon he's going to be tempted to try the 50 soldier challenge"

James smiled and shook his head. The re-appearance of Badrai would have serious repercussions for their mission here, but for now he would take the one positive which seemed to have resulted. Smurf was back in the team.


	12. Chapter 12 The Silver Bullet

Chapter 12 The Silver Bullet

James walked back into the med centre. "Thank goodness for that" he said to Molly "looks like Smurf is well and truly back in the Under Fives"

"Sorry sir?" She said distractedly and looking up from a thin pamphlet she was reading.

"Doesn't matter" said James "What's that?"

She showed him the cover "Advanced Neurosurgery on the Front Line: A Guide for Army Medics" he read aloud.

"Goodness Dawes, I think most of two section are beyond help if that's what your wondering"

"No sir, but I have been thinking" said Molly

"I've told you before about how dangerous that could be" said James

Molly smiled "it's just that this new kind of Zombie changes everything doesn't it sir?"

James frowned "Yes it does Dawes. This new breed doesn't seem to have the same sensitivity to the biological markers so our current attraction measures will not be effective. Their strength, speed and intelligence also means it will be a lot harder to administer the antidote." He admitted.

The medic nodded. "When I was examining Smurf" she said "I noticed these around his neck" Molly took out her phone and flicked to a series of images. They showed a mass of dark tissue just under the skin at the back of the neck with a network of vein like structures radiating out from it.

"I think these markings are a free standing network of neural pathways which link the existing brain up to key organs and muscles in the rest of the body. It takes over the host like a parasite, controlling emotions and motor functions. It's what the antidote attacks and kills when we dunk the victims in the solution"

James raised his eyebrows in surprise "that's brilliant Dawes! I can't make the camera on my phone take any close ups like that. The picture always comes out all blurry. I can't believe you have got these so clear!"

Molly shrugged and went on "what do you think about my theory though sir?. It seems to make sense from what's written in this leaflet" and she picked up the document again and turned to the section entitled 'Invasive Symbiotic Neural Networks and How to Spot Them'

James scanned the leaflet and nodded "Makes sense Dawes but how does it help us?"

Molly shrugged "Well it just occurs to me that if the new zombies won't come to the antidote maybe we can take it to them. If we could get the solution delivered right to the heart of the network" and she pointed to the photo of the large mass on Smurf's neck "then our main problem could be solved"

James ruminated for a time then smiled. "You might just have something there Dawes. We would need to develop some sort of delivery device like a dart or similar projectile"

"Like a silver bullet?" put in Molly.

"Exactly. You are a bloody wonder Dawsey!" said James.

Molly blushed deeply "Just doing my job sir"

James looked into her eyes. "No, this is above and beyond. Is there nothing you cannot do?"

Molly hesitated then shyly looked up at James "I can't get you out of my head boss."

James bit his lip and then let his tongue do a full circuit of his mouth. He moved closer to Molly, eyes smouldering, hands reaching.

"Sir, are you there sir?" Kinders voice sounded from the corridor.

James stopped abruptly and gave Molly an apologetic look

"In here corporal" he called out reluctantly.

Kinders pushed through the door. "Sir, Major Morley on the video phone"

James turned to Molly "Come with me" he said.

They doubled over to the ops tent and James sat down by the monitor which was displaying a grainy image of the American in what appeared to be domestic surroundings.

"Ah Captain, I have just received your report about this mornings incident and thought I better contact you as a matter of urgency"

James nodded "yes sir, the repercussions for our mission appear to be significant"

"Indeed they do Captain. We will have to rethink our whole strategy" said Morley in some annoyance.

Just then a pink clad figure appeared behind the Major.

"Sherman?" It said. "You're not looking at that Whatta Man video again are you? I may start to get jealous!"

"No dear, it is work. I am speaking to Captain James in Afghanistan on a matter of grave importance"

"Ooo, is that Charles!" And the figure approached the screen, quickly resolving itself into the familiar features of Major Beck.

"Charles how are you dear? Oh I do love you with that radio head set on and that dusting of Afghan grime. You're fit to give a girl palpitations."

"For god sake Jonathan, I am trying to take care of business here!" Said Morley irritably.

"Don't worry about him dear" said the former major to James "he's always like a bear with a sore head in the morning. Lack of sleep due to some QS, if you know what I mean" Beck added with a conspiratorial wink.

James smiled fondly at his former comrade "its great to see you sir"

"Oh Jonathan will do fine from now on. Now tell me, how is that lovely medic of yours, Dawes is it? Oh, don't look so shocked Charles, I could see something was going on from a mile off. When you're in love yourself it is easy to spot the signs" and with this Beck threw a fond look over his shoulder to Major Morley who was pacing back and forth impatiently in the background.

James shifted uncomfortably in his seat, thanking his lucky stars that it was only him and Molly in the ops tent.

"Actually she is just here" said James

Molly shifted into shot and gave an embarrassed little wave.

"Oh there you are. Gorgeous! Now James don't you dare drop the ball with that one!"

"No...err Jonathan I won't" said James

"Will you let me speak to them now?" Said Morley approaching the screen again.

"Ok, ok." Said Beck rolling his eyes. "Lovely to see you both again. Cheerio! "

Morley then filled the screen. "Now where were we?" Said Morley.

"We were just discussing the need for a new strategy sir" said James "and on that matter Private Dawes may have stumbled onto something"

"Indeed Private, out with it then" ordered the Major.

Molly outlined her discovery and resulting idea. Morley listened carefully then was silent for a time after Molly had finished.

"The problem will be to find a delivery mechanism which is effective at range whilst not causing serious injury to the subject...We have been working on a new munitions material which may be applicable to this. Let me talk to a my people. Give me a few hours."

"Yes sir." Said James, and with that they signed off.

James took a deep breath and let it out slowly.

Molly looked across at him. "What now sir?" She asked

James gave her a searching look "with the mission or with us?" He asked carefully

"Both" she said simply.

"Well, we wait...and in the meantime we eat. Can we have another go at dinner?"said James

"Are you asking me out on a date sir?" asked Molly smiling

"Only if you want to" said James nervously.

Molly nodded "Ok, but there's nowhere to go here" said Molly.

"Ah now that's where you are wrong" said James. "I know of a particularly nice roof terrace just above the wash block where we can dine under the stars and the finest pizza is delivered to your table...by bike"

Molly laughed "sounds nice, but I'm choosing the topping"

That evening James sat on the corrugated roof nervously drumming his fingers. Above him the Afghan night presented a canopy of glittering stars. Soft music drifted from one of two sections Karaoke machines a little distance away:

"When your legs don't work like they used to before,

And I can't sweep you off of your feet"

Molly appeared, clambering over the edge of the building, hair down, T-shirt and combat trousers.

James gave her a hand up. "You look beautiful" he said

"You don't look too shabby yourself" she responded, then looking around "I can see its a nice place"

"What the roof?" he asked

"No the bath house and that" said Molly.

"Yeah...yes it is" confirmed James.

They sat down and James offered her a drink.

"Sorry the foods a bit makeshift. Next time I'll make sure it's better"

Molly smiled "bit previous there weren't you?"

"It's probably the fumes from the cleaning chemicals" said James

"I failed chemistry" responded Molly

The music played on

"..take me into your loving arms,

Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars"

They leaned in towards each other...

"Sir,...sir are you there?" Called Kinders

"Hell's teeth!" Exclaimed James in frustration. "Is there some sort of intimacy alarm that goes off somewhere?"

"Let me go and see what he wants" James said to Molly irritably. He jumped off the edge of the roof and walked a short distance away. There then followed a mumbled conversation and the sound of Kinders retreating footsteps. James' head then reappeared above the edge if the roof.

"Its Morley on the videophone. Let's hope he has some good news." said James. He gestured for her to follow and they both walked to the ops tent.

"Captain" said Morley "I have now managed to speak to some people at our ammunition development unit and we think that we have a solution. We have been testing a new type of bullet which can withstand high velocities but disintegrates easily on impact. Absolutely useless for inflicting any serious injury but potentially very good at delivering a small quantity of liquid just below the skin"

"That's good news sir, when will it be available?" Asked James

"We are expediting development and manufacture but it is going to be at least a week before we can ship any out to you. In the meantime I need you to augment your training with shooting practice."

"Of course sir" confirmed James

"We also have some intelligence regarding the production of these super zombies. It seems as if activity it is concentrated in one location. A secret Taliban base under a disused compound near to an ANA checkpoint over a river in the mountains. I understand you may be familiar with the location.

James turned pale and looked at Molly "yes we know the place sir"

"Good" said Morley, "because we are planning to take it out and your people are likely to be key to the operation"

James nodded.

"I will be in touch in due course with further instructions. In the meantime Captain we need you to find your best marksmen and make them better"

"Will do" said James and signed off. He then turned to Molly, deep emotion on his face.

Molly looked at him with concern. "I don't understand, it's like history repeating itself. First Badrai, now the same army checkpoint. It's all too weird" she said shuddering.

James slowly breathed out. "It's like whoever is pulling the strings around here needs to continually self reference. They are either incredibly lazy or obsessed with a particular series of events and characters."

Molly nodded thoughtfully.

"Whatever the reason" continued James "it is clear that we will need to prepare to return to the site of our last combat mission and face Badrai again...and this time things are going to be very different"


	13. Chapter 13 The Airheads

Chapter 13

The two massive Chinooks stood on the landing strip, their rota blades whipping clouds of dust up into the air. A single line of soldiers filed into each of the aircraft, the powerful downdraft buffeting the figures as they made their way up the rear access ramps.

James stood in the belly of one of the Chinooks and watched as two section arranged themselves along each bulkhead.

This was the culmination of three weeks if intensive mission training, triggered by the zombie attack on Camp Bastion. New weapons and tactics had been developed and deployed and the troops, both British and Afghan, had been drilled relentlessly. Hours of practice on the camp ranges had honed their shooting skills, enabling them to deliver the modified ammunition with pin point accuracy. A hand held antidote delivery wand had also been produced for hand to hand combat situations and each soldier had several strapped to their ammunition belts. They were focussed, alert and most of them were still alive (Smurf of course being technically dead)

"Ere sir" said Mansfield Mike " these chinooks are a bit of all right. How come we didn't get them on our last tour?"

James smiled "its one of the benefits of having moved the story into a written format Private, budget is no longer a constraint. People are free to use their imaginations"

"Oh does that mean I can be better looking this time around" pursue Mansfield Mike

"There are limits" said James "we can't go making the story so far fetched that we lose all credibility. No, just concentrate on helping us defeat the zombie king and save the world and it won't matter to people how hansom you are."

Mansfield Mike nodded pensively.

James sat back in his seat and regarded the section with some pride. They were as fit and determined as he had ever seen them. Every member also now sported the new unit badge on their sleeve with pride.

He would never forget the day, a few weeks ago, when they had received them. They had been marching back from the shooting range and had just entered the main parade ground. Colonel de la Billiere had been waiting for him with a number of high ranking officers James did not know.

"Ah James excellent. Form the section up would you? Unexpected visitor, all very irregular but he wanted to come himself to give you the news."

"Who sir, what news? I don't understand" asked James in confusion.

A chinook then came into view and thundered overhead, landing on the far side of the parade ground.

"Ah, that will be him" said de la Billiere and walked swiftly away to join the other senior officers.

The rear door of the chinook had opened and a squad of heavily armed troops doubled out to take positions around the square.

They were shortly followed by a lone figure in desert combats and beret. Even from a distance James could make out the red hair peaking out from the bottom of the man's head gear.

"Bloody hell" said James to himself then doubled over to the section to make sure they were formed up correctly and looking as smart as possible.

"What's going on sir?" Said Molly as he arrived. "That bloke that's just arrived don't half look like the ginger ninja" she offered with a smile.

James looked at her with a wide eyed expression. Molly's grin faded "Shut up!" She said in disbelief. "What's he doing here?"

"I haven't the first earthly idea" admitted James

By this time the visitor had been greeted by the welcoming committee and was being shown towards two section.

James brought the troops to attention and Prince Harry walked quickly over to shake his hand.

"Its a very great pleasure to meet you Captain. I have been following your progress here closely"

"Really your highness? I didn't know your interests extended to zombies" said James

"Oh very much so , have you not seen some of the minor royals?" Responded the Prince.

Harry then addressed the section.

"It is with very great pleasure that I can announce the formation of the newest unit of the British army which is to be formally known as the Special Zombie Service. I can also confirm myself as its first Colonel in Chief."

He then went on to present the new service insignia to each member of two section, making time to say a few words to each.

James noticed the Prince pause to have a particularly long conversation with Mansfield Mike of which he caught only the final sentence from Harry: "yes private it is indeed like looking in a mirror".

There then followed a short farewell and the royal was gone, striding back up the ramp of the chinook before it rose into the air in a whirl of dust.

Two section where left shaking their heads and staring at their badges. A red zombie head with a dagger through it on a black background with the motto 'Attract, Immerse, Revive' on a scroll below.

Brains walked over to James. "Its unbelievable sir" he said

"That it is" agreed James, "a great honour"

"No sir, it's the badge . A head with 'Attract, Immerse, Revive', A-I-R. We'll be known as the airheads in no time at all" said Brains with a pained expression

"Ah, I see" said James.

Back to the present and James checked his notes for the mission. A coordinated attack on the Taliban base would be a tricky affair. It would need careful timing and for each unit to do its part. He recalled Major Morley's initial briefing via video phone the previous week:

"The secret base is located beneath a disused compound to the south of the checkpoint. Its brilliant really, nobody would expect it to be right under the noses of the ANA. The entrance is in one of the blockhouses and is very well guarded. There is no way you could storm that without risking significant loss of life"

"So how do we get in sir?" James had asked

"A local goat farmer has informed us of a second entrance. It is less well guarded and should be easier to access. This farmer has agreed to lead you there."

"A goat farmer?" James had asked nervously.

"Yes" said Morley "well actually a former goat farmer. He went bankrupt after losing his prize breeding male. That's how we were able to bribe him to show us the second access point. He is on the point of starvation. Why do you ask?"

"Oh, no reason" said James grimacing.

"You will access the base via this entrance" Morley had continued. "Then neutralise any opposition before destroying the facility. The ANA will mount a diversionary attack on the main entrance as well as providing support and mopping up any zombie activity in the wider area"

As the chinook now neared its destination James got two section to run final equipment checks and spoke some encouraging words to a few individuals as well as giving Molly a little wink and a smile.

He could soon sense the aircraft descending and presently felt the jar of the helicopters wheels touch the ground. The rear access ramp then started to slowly open and two section trooped out into the pitch black Afghan night.

James had them fall in on him and then led them to the nearby drainage ditch that they would follow to the checkpoint.

He ordered Nude-nut to lead them off and they were soon on their way to the rendezvous with their guide.

The night was very still and James became acutely aware of his own steady breathing and the soft tread of his soldiers boots on the ground.

Then suddenly there was a loud detonation nearby which shook the ground and sent them scuttling for cover. James saw panicked expressions as everyone tried to workout the location and source of the explosion. "That wasn't Thunder" said Baz Vegas in a shaking voice.

Then Molly wrinkled her nose and said "what's that whiff?"

Mansfield Mike appeared clutching his stomach. "Sorry, but I tried to hold it in. I always get bad wind when I'm nervous."

James stared at the private "Jesus, I thought that was a mortar attack and that we were done for"

Molly made a face. "We still might be if we don't get up wind of Mansfield's guff" she said.

"Ok" said James "lead on Nude-Nut"

The horizon was tinged with pink as they came in sight of the checkpoint but instead of progressing to the compound as before, they left the ditch and went cross country, soon reaching the foothills to the west of the bridge.

By a tumbledown field shelter they met up with the goat farmer. He nodded to James and looked suspiciously at Smurf before turning and leading them down a narrow path running along the edge of a rough pasture. James tried not to show his relief that the man had not recognised them.

They walked in silence for a time then, near a rock outcrop, the farmer signalled for them to get low to the ground. They then went forward at a crouch until they reached a large boulder where they came to a stop. James looked at the farmer who peaked over the rock and nodded towards a small copse of trees about 50 metres away. He then wished them luck and left.

James took out his binoculars and surveyed the scene. The copse looked deserted but just as James was about to turn away he spotted a figure emerging from the trees. James focussed in on the face and noted the telltale red eyes. The athletic gait confirmed the guard was a Mark II as they now called the new breed of zombie.

James turned to two section. "Fingers, we have a Mark II 50 metres away just by that copse of trees. I need remote delivery asap"

Fingers nodded and unslung his rifle. He exchanged the live ammo clip with one containing the antidote bullets. He then screwed a silencer onto the nozzle of the rifle and creeped around the boulder to take up a prone position on the stony ground which surrounded the rocky outcrop.

He adjusted the sight on his rifle and peered through it towards the group of trees. He then waited to get a clean shot.

"Come on, let me see your love bite" said Fingers in an undertone, referring to the mass of dark tissue at the back of the neck which would be his target.

"Gotcha" he whispered and pulled the trigger. A low 'phut' issued from the rifle and the distant figure staggered forward and fell to its knees.

"Let's move" said James and two section doubled forwards, rifles at the ready.

By the time they had reached the figure it was convulsing on the ground. Molly knelt by the zombie and waited for the transformation to complete. She then checked for vital signs and looked at James.

"Dead sir, must have been a corpse to start with"

James nodded. "Ok let's find this entrance"

Two section entered the trees and started to scan the ground for evidence of an opening.

"Over here sir" said Kinders who was standing over a metal grate set into the ground.

The grate was quickly lifted out of the way to reveal a metal ladder descending into the darkness.

James unclipped a torch from his belt and shone a beam of light down the hole.

"Looks like it goes down about 20 metres. Nude-Nut lead off while I radio Captain Azizi to commence the diversionary attack"

They each climbed down the ladder in turn. At the bottom was a narrow tunnel carved out of the rock, weakly lit by a series of electric bulbs strung from the ceiling. The passage slopped steeply down further into the earth.

They advanced in single file picking their way carefully along the tunnel, the stone floor of which was slick with mud.

Suddenly a cry from the rear of the line indicated that something was amiss. As James turned he saw Mansfield Mike, Smurf and Fingers careering towards him one after the other on their rear ends. He tried desperately to avoid the avalanche of bodies but the tunnel was too narrow and in an instant he was swept off his feet by the combined weight of those behind him. Molly also tried to evade them but ended up on James lap as they slid along the stone floor.

Those in front of Molly met the same fate and for a moment the whole section was moving as one down the tunnel, arms and legs flailing, before being disgorged into a wider space at the bottom of the slope.

As they erupted out of the tunnels narrow opening they cannoned into a group of zombies assembled just beyond, sending them sprawling. The whole mass of bodies eventually came to rest against the opposite wall of the cavern.

James desperately tried to free himself from the tangle of arms and legs all around him. There then followed a desperate struggle as soldiers and zombies grappled to get the upper hand.

James managed to free one of his antidote wands from his belt and drive it into the neck of the nearest zombie, sending it into a writhing frenzy.

He then rolled away and came up on one knee to try and get his bearings. Kinders, Brains and Fingers were each engaged in desperate struggles with zombies. Molly was bent over Nude-Nuts motionless body whilst Dangleberries had his rifle raised covering her as she worked. He could not see Smurf or Mansfield Mike anywhere but had no time to give them further thought as another zombie loomed up in front of him.

James sprang at the figure and knocked it backwards. The zombie landed heavily with James on top of it and he was just about to drive his second wand into its neck when something hit James on the back of the head, sending him sprawling and plunging him into oblivion...


	14. Chapter 14 The Zombie King

Chapter 14 The Zombie King

The first sensation to return to James was his hearing. A dull roaring filled his ears which grew loader and more distinct. Then came the pain. A throbbing head ache which make him feel nauseous. Finally the darkness which he had inhabited began to resolve itself into light and dark, followed by a shape which grew sharper at the edges and then gained definition.

A face, a pretty face with piercing green eyes and full red lips. It was Molly and he was lying with his head on her lap.

"Welcome back" she said with a smile.

James tried to raise his head but immediately regretted it as a wave of dizziness overcame him.

"What happened to me?" He managed to croak.

"You lost an argument with a Mark II boss" she replied simply. "But not before you injected one and nearly got another. You've been out cold for about half an hour"

James nodded "where are we?"

"Well" said Molly "we are sort of up shit creek without a paddle"

James looked at her then raised his head slowly taking in his surroundings for the first time. They were sat in what looked like a large holding pen with around 20 men, women and children and guarded by a group of new breed zombies.

The pen was in one corner of a large cavern which seemed to be filled with more zombie in a very agitated state. This was the source of the roaring which had first greeted James when he started to regained consciousness but the cause of their excitement was not immediately obvious.

"Where is everyone else?" Asked James.

At this point Kinders appeared, a small cut above his eye, but otherwise unharmed.

"Good to see you back in the land of the living dead sir" he said with an ironic smile.

"Thank you corporal. What is the situation?" He ordered.

"We are all here and ok except for Smurf and Mansfield Mike who are both MIA" said Kinders "Nude-Nut got a bang on the head when we all slid down the tunnel but he's ok now. I've got the guys checking the perimeter of this holding area to see if there is a way out"

"No one had been...infected?" Asked James anxiously.

Kinders shook his head "when they overpowered us they could easily have done us all sir" he admitted "but they just disarmed us and brought us here."

"But for what purpose?" Said James looking around again.

"Your going to wish you hadn't asked sir" said Kinders "look"

James followed his stare to the front of the pen where a Mark II was opening the door of the enclosure. He surveyed the terrified faces then grabbed the arm of a middle aged man. The unfortunate individual let out a horrified scream and struggled desperately to escape. However his efforts were futile, the zombie was just too strong. He was dragged out of the enclosure and into the main cavern.

The baying crowd parted to let them through. In doing so they revealed, at the centre of the space, a small arena. On three sides the zombie crowd pushed and jostled each other to get a view of the spectacle. On the fourth side was a roaring fire and just beyond on a raised dais sat Badrai, surveying the scene with a face redolent of diabolical pleasure.

James watched in horrified fascination as the captive was pushed into the centre of the arena. The floor of the space was a morass and the man slipped over onto his back sending mud spraying in every direction. He rose to his knees but seemed unable to stand up fully, as if his legs had lost all their strength.

The crowd on the other side of the arena then parted to let through one of the biggest zombies James had ever seen. He was stripped to the waist revealing a well muscled torso which glistened in the light from the fire.

The zombie looked up at Badrai who nodded his ascent and the monster them turned his red orbs on the prisoner. The man seemed transfixed but then screamed and scrabbled up from the mud as the zombie advanced on him. The audience went wild with excitement as the captive was stalked around the arena.

Realising there was nowhere to go the man turned in desperation on the zombie and charged at him arms flailing ineffectively. The zombie caught the mans wrists and forced him down onto his knees before then biting down on the captives neck whose scream was cut short as his windpipe was crushed.

The zombie crowd roared its approval and James looked away in disgust. "This is monstrous" he said.

"I know" Molly confirmed "I haven't seen anything like it since West Ham played away to Millwall last season."

The remaining members of two section then joined them and reported no obvious route of escape. All eyes turned to James who grimaced and watched as the unconscious prisoner was dragged from the arena, a violent twitching indicating that he was already undergoing the transformation.

James then surveyed the crowd of excited zombies. His eyes seemed to suddenly focus on a point in the crowd and his mouth twitched before setting itself into a determined line. He turned back to the others.

"Be ready to get these people out of here when I give the word" he said.

They all stared at him in confusion "what are you going to do sir?" Asked Molly clearly concerned.

"What needs to be done" he said and, placing his hands on either side of her face, he pulled her close and kissed her passionately.

The remaining members of two section looked at each other uncomfortably. "Ummm, he's not going to do that to all of us is he corp.?" Asked Fingers clearly uncomfortable.

Kinders shrugged and wet his lips. "Just close your eyes and think of England lad"

James smiled "I have no intention of kissing anyone else". He then stripped off his top in one fluid movement and passed the clothing to Molly. He nodded to them all, took one more look at Molly and strode to the front of the enclosure.

James stared at the zombie guards and nodded at the arena. "Let's stop pissing around shall we and get on with the main event" he said.

One of the zombie guards looked over at the figure on the dais who was watching James closely. Badrai slowly nodded, an unsettling leer on his face, and the guard quickly unlocked the door.

James walked calmly out into the mass of zombies and headed straight to the arena. As he approached, he noted the expanse of thick, clinging mud on the floor of the open space and looked up to the ceiling in search of the source of the moisture . A network of rusty, leaking pipes spread across the upper levels of the cavern, a remnant James supposed, of the underground room's original use - some sort of pumping station associated with the nearby river and system of ditches which surrounded it.

James trudged to the centre of the arena and stood legs apart and hands on hips. The massive zombie fighter reappeared from the crowd to his left and immediately started to stalk him. James crouched low as they circled each other then made a charge at the zombie who swatted him away with ease.

James went flying into the crowd. He had had to pick his spot carefully so that when he crashed into the disguised Smurf it appeared completely random. They both fell to the ground and grappled with each other, giving enough time for Smurf to pass James two antidote wands and the Captain to whisper a series of short instructions to the private.

James then rolled away from the zombie and back into the arena where he had to dive to his left quickly to avoid a lunge from his original opponent. Smurf for his part slowly stood and shuffled from the room unnoticed.

James again circled the arena, watching his opponent closely and trying to keep upright in the clinging quagmire.

They grappled again. James straining every sinew to avoid being pulled in towards the snapping teeth of the zombie.

For one heart stopping moment James lost his footing and slid under his opponent who fell to his knees to trap the soldier with his full weight. However the mud came to James' aid making it impossible for the zombie to gain a proper grip and allowing the soldier to slip through the powerful grasping hands before they could take a full hold.

The zombie grunted his frustration and made to stand but was momentarily caught in the sucking morass. James saw his chance and grabbed one of the concealed wands from his belt, swinging it in a wide arc to plunge it deep into the back of his opponents neck.

The zombie stiffened then rose slowly and turned to face James, a look of surprise on its gruesome face. It then staggered and fell forwards into the mud before starting to flail madly as the antidote took effect.

The zombie crowd fell silent as they realised what had happened and watched in shock as the massive figure convulsed one last time then lay still. There was a long moment when no one moved before pandemonium broke out in the cavern, the crowd roaring as one as they spilled into the arena and converged on James. Then suddenly a high pitched scream pierced the air and the zombies froze in unison and turned mechanically towards the dais.

Badrai was standing, eyes like death rays pointing at James, chest heaving, fists clenched in barely suppressed fury. In one leap he left the dais, cleared the intervening fire pit and landed a few paces from the captain

"This one is mine!" He said in English.

James looked surprised and Badrai threw back his head to release a humourless cackling.

"You are surprised Captain James, Why? Surely you know that the only way to win a war is to know and understand your enemy" said Badrai

"The Taliban will never win this war" said James defiantly.

"The Taliban!" Screeched Basrai "who said anything about the Taliban? They were a means to an end, to be disposed of when they had fulfilled their purpose"

"Their purpose?" Said James

"Why, to provide me with the means to produce my army of course. The army with which I will conquer the world and ensure the zombie hegemony" declared Badrai.

James shifted his weight slowly and moved his hand to where his final antidote wand lay hidden.

Badrai laughed mirthlessly once more then focussed his gaze on James. He moved slowly towards the soldier, teeth bared. Then suddenly shots rang out in the cavern and Mansfield Mine stood on the dais, rifle smoking.

"No way are we going to let you make a zombie hedge thingy or any other sort of funny shaped bush" said Mansfield Mike defiantly.

Badrai turned to snarl at the figure on the dais and in that instant James made his move. He leapt at the zombie, at the same time pulling the antidote wand from his belt. James landed on Badrai's back, driving him to his knees and pressed the wand against the back of his neck.

The zombie shouted in surprise and anger, whirling around to try and dislodge his attacker.

"Stay still or I will send you back to hell!" shouted James, pushing the point of the wand harder against the telltale dark patch of skin.

Badrai reluctantly came to a stop breathing heavily.

"Ok, now I want you to let the civilians go"

Badrai growled then nodded to the zombie guards who opened the door to the holding pen.

"Right lads, let's get them out of here quick smart" he called to two section who began to shepherd the people out of the cavern.

"The exit is just to the left of those doors, up a flight of metal steps. ANA are waiting at the top" called out Mansfield Mike. "Oi, where are you going sunshine!" He then said, pointing his rifle at a zombie who had been edging behind James with clear ill intent. The figure stopped dead and smiled innocently.

Badrai then addressed James "a well thought out plan Captain with one obvious flaw. How are you going to escape?"

James watched as the last of the civilians left the cavern. Molly was the last to leave, throwing James a worried look which he answered with a reassuring wink and a nod. James then turned to face Mansfield Mike who was listening to a message coming over his headset. The private acknowledged the message then gave James a thumbs up. The Captain nodded then jerked his head towards the door, indicating that Mansfield Mike should leave which he did by jumping down from the dais and backing out rifle at the ready.

It was only then that James responded to Badrai's question "I hadn't really thought that far ahead" he said.

Badrai cackled "well Captain it occurs to me that whatever happens you die. Kill me and my zombies will rip you apart; don't kill me I will do it myself."

"There is a third way" said James calmly "You can all surrender to me and walk out into the custody of the ANA"

Badrai laughed aloud. "Oh Captain, I do love your English sense of humour! You are like Benny Hill no?"

James grimaced "we are both occasionally seen wearing a black beret but that is were the similarity ends. If you are not going to surrender then I have only one recourse." With that James leapt onto Badrai's shoulders and then up onto the network of water pipes running across the ceiling.

"Leave him to me" cried Badrai and jumped up after him. The whole structure started to creak as ancient joints were put under strain and couplings started to give way. Suddenly a jet of liquid sprang from a ruptured pipe spraying the zombies beneath. Then

another joined it further drenching the watching crowd. James hung on desperately as the network of pipes started to disintegrate around him and the zombies were subjected to a deluge which quickly filled the cavern to knee height.

Badrai too clung on waiting for the structure to stabilise so he could start working his way towards James.

Then from below the roaring of the zombies started to subside. As James watched groups of them started to stagger and fall into the fluid where they began to convulse.

Badrai looked down in disbelief "nooooo!" He wailed as the realisation hit him that the liquid was not water at all. He then glared at James who smiled back calmly.

"I appear to have discovered the antidote to my predicament" said James.

Badrai launched himself at James across the ceiling, the pipe network collapsing around him as he swung from handhold to handhold. James scrambled to escape but was a fraction too slow to avoid a final fierce lunge and the zombie managed to catch hold of his right leg.

James clung to the remaining pipe work desperately while Badrai tried to bring his mouth up level with James' leg to administer the transforming bite.

Just as Bardai flexed his neck to help drive his hideous teeth through clothing, skin and muscle a bellow resounded in the cavern and Smurf came swinging across the fractured metalwork and threw himself at Badrai. The zombie king was ripped away from James leg by the impact of the soldiers body. For a split second both zombies seemed to hang in mid air before they began to plummet towards the floor which was still awash with the antidote solution.

"Smurf nooo!" Said James desperately as they plunged towards their doom...


	15. Chapter 15 Final Words

_**Ok, so here is the finale of 'season 2' of Our Zombie Girl, I hope you enjoy it. I am conscious that I have been a bit rubbish at leaving any authors notes or other commentary. The truth is that I have struggled to find time to write the chapters let alone anything else! However, given that this is the last chapter, I thought I would take some time to write a few thoughts. Firstly, many thanks to all of you who have left such kind comments, both here and on the MN OG/CJ thread. I always knew that this was an unlikely crossover story and would not appeal to everyone, but I have been bowled over by the response and it has kept me going on this often madcap journey of the imagination. Secondly many thanks to my various collaborators (you know who you are) who have fed me a stream of hilarious ideas and references which I have managed to weave into the narrative. They have sometimes been quite challenging but I hope they have added a further dimension to the tale. Thirdly, thanks to Tony Grounds and the BBC who have provided us all with a wealth of unforgettable characters who inhabit the OG universe (as it has now become). They obviously remain your sole property but I am hugely grateful that we have been able to play with them for a bit. Finally, a big thanks to my wonderful wife who has shown incredible forbearance while I have told this story - often into the small hours of the morning.**_

_**I am not sure if we will see the SZS again. I have some ideas but don't want to impose anymore stories on anyone if there isn't an appetite for them out there. Maybe you could let me know, one way or another! Happy New Year to you all.**_

Chapter 15 - Final Words

James watched powerless as the two zombies fell towards the ground. Still wrestling with each other they twisted in the air. When the impact came Badrai hit the murky liquid first and disappeared under the surface while Smurf remained partly above the solution as the other zombie broke his fall.

Smurf struggled to his feet dazed and James swung down from the remaining pipe work to join him.

"Are you alright private?" Asked James with some concern. Smurf slowly nodded then started to feel under the surface for Badrai. They both fanned out, groping in the cloudy liquid for some sign of their quarry, turning over a number of floating bodies, but with no success.

Then suddenly Badrai surfaced in a spray of liquid brandishing a piece of broken pipe work. With one powerful thrust he rammed the jagged end of the steel tube through Smurfs neck. The soldier swayed for a moment then fell forwards. James catching him just before he hit the solution.

"Man down, man down!" he cried as Badrai roared in triumph and leapt away from the stricken soldier and onto the dais.

Mansfield Mike came running into the cavern with Molly. On seeing Badrai, the private opened fire with his rifle but the zombie easily evaded the shots through a series of leaps and somersaults.

"Over here" called James and they waded over. "Mansfield" he said, "give me a wand."

The private passed over one of the antidote sticks then gently took Smurf from James and helped Molly drag him away.

James flicked the wand between his fingers in an impressive show of dexterity then aimed carefully and threw the weapon at Badrai's neck. The wand cartwheeled through the air and clattered off the wall some metres to the left of the zombie king.

"Oh bugger" said James "I was always useless at that"

Badrai cackled and started to advance towards James.

He turned to Mansfield Mike "quickly private your rifle, before twinkle toes here starts leaping about again like Rudolf Nureyev"

Mansfield quickly unslung his gun and threw it over to James who caught it and aimed at the zombie who was crouching to attack once more. Again Badrai was able to evade the shots and was soon within a few metres of James.

The zombie advanced on the captain with a diabolical smile on his face. "I think only help from above will save you know" said Badrai with glee and launched himself at the Captain. As he did so a section of the remaining pipe work fell from the ceiling, a projecting tube impaling the zombie through the top of the head as he was in mid leap.

Badrai landed on his feet and staggered forward with the pipe work protruding from his head.

"How ironic" he commented before falling sideways onto the sodden ground. The red glow in his eyes faded to points and then blinked out.

James went over to the figure and prodded it with his foot, he was gone. He then turned to where Molly was treating Smurf whilst Mansfield Mike looked on clearly agitated.

"How is he?" Asked James

"Well" said Molly "he's got a two inch thick length of steel piping through his neck and all his vital signs have flat lined. Now in most cases that would have me unzipping the body bag but, given he was dead before the injury I'm not going to call it yet. The pipe has damaged his neural network though, so I think it's going to be touch and go."

James nodded "well let's call out the MERT team and try and keep him stable until they arrive. I'll send a stretcher down. Mansfield, your with me" and with that James strode away.

Out in the passageway James found Kinders supervising the post immersion care for those former zombies who had survives the transformation.

"How are we doing here Corporal?" Asked James.

"Ok sir, not many to take care of, most were already dead when they transformed. Former Taliban fighters for the most part" said Kinders.

James nodded. "Can you organise a stretcher party for Smurf"

"Yes sir, is he going to be ok?" Asked Kinders with concern

James shook his head and Kinders nodded then signalled to two ANA orderlies.

James turned to Mansfield Mike who was looking downcast "He is in the best hands, private. If anyone can keep him alive Molly can"

The soldier nodded "I know its stupid worrying about him dying when he's already dead but...well he's my mate"

"I understand" said James "now tell me about what happened after the tunnel"

Mansfield Mike took a deep breath and then recounted how he had been knocked unconscious by the slide down the tunnel and was in the process of being dragged away by a zombie when Smurf had come to his aid. He had helped him into a side tunnel but by the time Smurf had finished the rest of the section had been captured and disarmed. They had watched as James was dragged and the others were led away and then followed at a distance until they had entered the main cavern. Mansfield had then hidden in a small side room as Smurf disguised himself and mingled with the crowd by the arena.

"When Smurf came out with your orders I radioed Captain Azizi to get the antidote into the pipe system. They found the holding tank in the compound pretty easily but had some trouble getting the old pump to work. Luckily old Aasif is a bit of a dab hand at machinery and got it going. Then i heard the hubbub in the main arena, saw you were in some strife and went in shooting. You know the rest" said Mansfield Mike with a shrug.

"Well it was excellent work private" said James.

"Oh, there's just one more thing sir" said the private "when I was hiding out in the little room I noticed this on the wall" The soldier dived into one of his large trouser pockets and pulled out a folded piece of paper.

James took it and opened it out to reveal a large map of Afghanistan marked with a number of red Zs and annotated copiously in what James assumed was Pashto script.

"Don't know if its of any interest" offered Mansfield Mike

"Oh, I think it may be of great interest" said James with a smile.

Just then Molly's voice was heard as she emerged from the cavern jogging alongside the stretcher bearing Smurf to the surface.

"We're losing him. Let's put him down. Come on Smurf stay with me!"

James could see the figure on the stretcher had started to spasm uncontrollably.

Mansfield Mike looked at James pleadingly

"Go" said the Captain and the private nodded and doubled away to join Molly who was working furiously to stabilise the patient. After a time the twitching seemed to ease and Mansfield Mike could be seen leaning in to Smurf's face as if trying to catch a whisper.

Molly put a supporting arm around the soldier then nodded to the stretcher bearers who lifted Smurf up once more and carried him towards the stairway leading to the surface and the waiting helicopter.

James walked over to the two of them. Mansfield Mike had tears in his eyes.

"What did he say private?" Asked James.

"Las Vegas" said Mansfield Mike and slowly walked away...

The Royal Crescent stretched in a majestic curve into the distance. A couple walked arm in arm along its length, seemingly ignoring its Palladian splendour, too engrossed in each other's company. A close observer may have detected a military bearing in the set of the shoulders and gait of one of the figures whilst the other wore a flowing black and white flower print dress under a short silk jacket and occasionally gazed at the other with undisguised adoration. The couple reached a large white door set into the bath stone frontage and the military figure knocked firmly. After a short pause the door opened to reveal Charles James in jacket and shirt.

"Hello Charles" said Major Beck "you look good enough to eat dear"

"You know I'm standing right here don't you?" Said Major Morley to his companion.

"Oh you know I can't help myself" said Major Beck

"Come in" said James "Molly is just getting ready, she should be down any minute"

The couple crossed the threshold and Major Beck glanced up the stairs "Oh what a lovely house. Although the stairs look a bit scary dear"

James took their coats and showed them into the living room which was dominated by a large Christmas tree. "Dinner should be ready in about 10 minutes" he said "can I offer you a drink?"

At that moment Molly walked into the room and greeted their guests.

"Oh I've got a dress just like that" she said to Beck.

"I know dear, I saw you wearing it in episode 5 and I said to Sherman 'I simply must have something the same'!"

"Anyway" continued Major Beck "I have got something for you, well actually it's for both of you" and so saying the former major produced a package from his handbag.

"Just a little something from my new range. Its a bit experimental but I'm sure you'll both have fun with it"

Molly unwrapped the package and pulled out some very revealing underwear.

"Blimey, there's not much to it is there?" said Molly.

James came over to Molly and stared at the garment.

"Um... are those fairy lights?" he asked uncertainly

"Oh yes, glad you noticed those. You can set them to flash at whatever speed you want, depending on your preferred...tempo"

"And is that...confectionary of some kind?" Continued James in bewilderment

"Just in case you need to boost your energy levels at some point" said Beck with a knowing smile "it really is enormous fun and has been thoroughly product tested hasn't it Sherman?"

Morley rolled his eyes and looked at James pleadingly. "Do you need any help in the kitchen?" he asked.

James smiled and nodded him through to the adjacent room.

"Heard from my ANA contact today." Began Morley as James busied himself preparing the food "They have mopped up the last of the zombie centres. That map you guys found has proven invaluable in smashing the production and transformation network."

"I am glad we could be of help" said James modestly

Morley cleared his throat "I have managed to persuade your government that the SZS needs to be maintained and increased to a full company"

James looked at the Major in surprise.

"There are still some real threats out their." Explained Morley "The Taliban are down but not out. I am sure they will be back. We also have intel that North Korea have initiated their own zombie programme and that Islamic State have been trying to source the relevant materials. Who knows what other terrorist groups and rouge states are trying to do the same thing"

James nodded but remained silent

"A full company will need a major to command it" said Morley looking steadily at James "it's yours if you want it"

James took a deep breath and let it out slowly "let me think about it and talk to Molly, ok?"

Morley nodded "ok"

"Charles" called Molly excitedly from the other room "look, they have arrived!"

Molly came into the kitchen brandishing her mobile phone and followed by a smiling Major Beck.

James took the phone from her and looked at the screen. The display was filled with a photograph of two section lined up outside the Bellagio casino in Las Vegas dressed in sharp suits, Rat Pack style. In the centre stood Smurf, red eyes shining, with the hint of a smile on his lips...

The End


	16. Chapter 16 A Big Week

**_In response to some pretty stroppy tweets, SZS is back for a third season. Only joking, we all know that haranguing people to do something would never work, don't we? The truth is these characters just won't let me be and they create a fair amount of jitterbug in my head until I can get their latest escapades down on (virtual) paper. Anyway, this season I can promise you political intrigue, chaos on the streets of London, pink outfits, zombies and a fair amount of singing. Here is the first chapter which is set about three months after the last one. Hope you enjoy it!_**

**_PS Despite some hilarious speculation in some quarters i really am just an ordinary bloke with an extraordinary obsession. No connection to the show in any way. Promise._**

Chapter 16 A Big Week

The club drawing room was nearly empty, most of the members having drifted off to one of the dining rooms for lunch. White coated stewards moved silently around the room clearing away the abandoned glasses and coffee cups from the scattered tables.

A single occupant remained, nestled in one of the deep wing backed leather arm chairs, an open broad sheet newspaper completing the cosy cocoon. The only sounds that emanated from the chair were the occasional harrumph and shaking of the paper to denote mild annoyance at an article therein. However, soon these noises subsided and the canopy of the broadsheet could be seen to slowly collapse in on itself while the occupant's breathing grew heavier and more regular.

A steward appeared in the entrance to the drawing room and glided towards the paper draped figure. He stopped just short of the chair and cleared his throat. Receiving no response he edged closer and whispered:

"minister you're guest has arrived".

A snore rose from the chair and the broadsheet shifted to reveal the slack jawed face of an overweight man in his mid fifties, a small rivulet of saliva meandering across his chin.

"Minister...minister!" Called the steward louder and this time the man awoke with a start calling out "not the scrubbing brush again, Nanny!" and sending the broadsheet sliding onto the floor.

The man blinked his eyes oped and stared at the steward who had assumed an inscrutable expression honed to perfection over many years.

"Good god Smithers you nearly gave me a seizure!" Said the minister searching for a handkerchief to wipe his chin.

"My apologies Minister but your guest has arrived, shall I show him in? " said the steward, as he knelt to retrieve the paper from the floor.

"Yes, yes of course" responded the minister standing up to smooth his crumpled suit.

The man rose and bowed slightly before gliding out of the room. Shortly after, he returned with the ministers guest.

"Rupert!" Said the minister advancing, hand extended "how the devil are you!"

"Very well, thank you Bertie. How are you?" Replied the visitor.

"Oh bearing up, bearing up. Sit yourself down. What's your poison these days?"

The steward took their drinks orders then left.

"So, how is the world of politics?" Asked Rupert taking a seat opposite the Minister.

"Cut throat as always. Everyone is in election mode of course so it's worse than usual. Terrified of dropping a clanger but desperate to pull off a political coup. What about the pharmaceutical business?" Asked the minister.

The businessman grimaced "Just as bad if not worse. The patents on our traditional big earning drugs are running out so we are taking a hit there whilst the new drugs we have spent a fortune developing are being shamelessly ripped off in the China and elsewhere."

"Well I'm sure something will turn up" offered his friend.

Rupert paused as the steward materialised with their drinks then watched as the man left the room before turning back to his companion.

"Well if it doesn't we will have to close our main plant in the UK"

The minister who had taken a large mouthful of his drink spat most of it out over the front of his suit. "What!" he said as he searched for his handkerchief for a second time in as many minutes. "but that's the biggest employer in my constituency. Its a marginal seat anyway. Closure would kill my chances of reelection! Rupert, is there nothing that can be done?"

Rupert leant back in his chair and steepled his fingers "there is one thing. A large government order could make all the difference."

"Well I can have a word in the appropriate ear at the DoH but you know drugs procurement is strictly controlled..." Began the minister.

"We were thinking more of opportunities in your area" said Rupert leaning forward once more.

"What the MoD?" Said the minister with a frown. "But we don't have any call for the large scale procurement of pharmaceuticals except for..." The minister tailed off then narrowed his eyes. "How did you know about that?"

Rupert smiled "There have been rumours in the industry for some time, which you appear to have confirmed"

The minister looked uncomfortable. "Look Rupert, we get all the supplies of the ... antidote we need from the Americans. Its a reciprocal arrangement whereby we share our combat expertise in this area. I can't go interfering with that. My influence only goes so far."

The businessman moved closer. "I am not talking about providing the antidote. There are other drugs involved in zombie warfare which we could cater for"

The minister looked confused but then realisation dawned. "That is not our established approach to addressing this issue. It would be a major change of strategy. Very...tricky. Very...controversial"

"But it is gaining support amongst senior military figures." Pursued Rupert. "I know there is real concern that certain groups and nations are developing this weapon. Our current reactive approach may not be enough, some are convinced we will need to turn to more...proactive measures."

"But those reactive methods have been spectacularly successful in Afghanistan. We wouldn't countenance a change unless they were shown to be ineffective in some major way" Countered the minister.

"There are ways that we can ensure that happens" said the businessman with an expression full of hidden meaning.

The minister licked his lips. "I wouldn't want to be involved in anything...inappropriate"

Rupert shrugged "do you have any plans for what you would do if you lost your seat in May? I hear the demand for washed up politicians is pretty low unless you want to spend some time in the jungle eating bugs for the entertainment of the masses?"

The minister slumped back in his seat "What do you need me to do?" He said.

"Nothing for now. I will contact you in due course with instructions. Now cheers old chap" said Rupert and raised his glass...

Major Charles James of the Special Zombie Service shifted nervously in his seat. He looked around him at the luxuriously furnished function room and the gathered invitees before turning back to the waiting celebrant who smiled at him encouragingly.

From where he was sitting he could see the familiar figures of two section lined up along the side wall in full dress uniform. Kinders was in command as always, his new sergeants stripes proudly displayed on his arm whilst Mansfield Mike still peered at his corporals insignia every minute or so, as if convinced that they would somehow disappear in a puff of smoke when the obvious administrative error had been realised.

He was nudged in the ribs by Smurf after the umpteenth glance down at his sleeve, the zombie wearing dark glasses to disguise his distinctive eyes from the rest of the guests. Kinders gave James a thumbs up sign which he acknowledged with a smile and a nod.

The background music, which had been an almost subliminal presence in James' mind, suddenly stopped and a new, louder melody filled the room thereby announcing the arrival of the bridal party. The congregation stood and James looked down the aisle as Molly started to walk slowly towards him.

She looked radiant in a long flowing gown, her hair up and interweaved with small pink flowers. James beamed at her and she smiled back shyly. When she drew level with him she gave James a quick wink then stood to one side and looked back the way she had come. There advancing down the aisle in a shimmering pink dress and matching veil was Jonathan Beck. Beside James, Lieutenant Colonel Sherman Morley waited nervously for his partner to arrive. James murmured a few calming words to the groom then felt in his uniform pocket once again to make sure the all important rings were still there.

Then the bride was beside them, raising his veil and smiling at all present. Beck and Morley walked towards the celebrant who looked at each in turn and began:

"Welcome all of you to this civil partnership ceremony..."

James snuck the occasional look at Molly as the formalities were gone through. She looked so perfect, encapsulating all he hoped for and desired, that he soon lost all sense of time and place. He only became conscious that something was amiss when the celebrant cleared her throat and he found all eyes on him. Major Beck smiled indulgently and whispered "I know you can't wait to have her all to yourself but if you could possibly just let us have the rings before you carry her off, the rest of us can get out of your way"

James stuttered an apology and fumbled in his pocket for the all important jewellery as Molly blushed crimson and looked at the floor with a broad grin. He located the metal work and pulled it out of his pocket with such eagerness that both rings escaped his grasp and sailed into the air, describing a perfect arc which sent them both directly down the front of the brides dress.

"Goodness me!" Exclaimed Beck in surprise "I am all for unorthodoxy James but I wasn't planning to put them there!"

Beck then gave a little jump and a wriggle and the clatter of metal was heard on the polished marble floor. "There we go" said the bride with a smile "lucky I haven't got that much on under this thing hey Sherman?"

The groom smiled and bent down to retrieve the rings whilst James apologised again and Molly trembled with barely suppressed laughter.

The ceremony was soon over and the kiss duly administered. James and Molly then joined the procession down the aisle and through the main doors of the function room where two section formed an archway of drawn swords. The confetti was then thrown and the long drawn out process of photograph taking was endured before the throwing of the bouquet was announced.

All eligible females were invited forward and James looked on with a smile as Molly employed her hand to hand combat training to some effect to secure a good position. Major Beck surveyed the scrum with a calculating eye before throwing the flowers directly at James who fumbled them in his surprise but just managed to cling on to the arrangement.

"Oops silly me, never had a good throwing arm" said Beck with a smile. "Still I think we have the right outcome"

Molly beamed and clapped her hands whilst two section cheered and wolf whistled in delight. James then presented the bouquet to Molly with a flourish before offering her his arm and walking the short distance to the reception venue.

After an excellent lunch James rose to his feet to deliver the best man speech.

"Ok, let me try and get through this without dropping anything important down the brides dress" he said to general hilarity.

Speeches delivered, the first dance beckoned. Dangleberries took to the stage and James strode to the mike.

"It had to be you,

It had to be you,

I wondered around

And finally found

Somebody who

Could make me be true

Could make me be blue..."

The bride and groom swayed around the dance floor before others joined them a few at a time until the space was full.

James finished the song and surrendered the stage to Mansfield Mike. He then found Molly and twirled her around as the music started again:

"Oh, what a night, late December back in '63

What a very special time for me"

"Didn't know you could dance as well!" Said Molly breathlessly as he led her around the floor.

"First thing they teach you at Sandhurst" said James with a smile.

For the next track Morley took the Mike and started to croon to the room at large:

"When somebody loves you

It's no good unless he loves you all the way"

Major Beck tapped Molly on the shoulder and said "do you mind if I claim my dance dear?". Molly smiled and stood aside letting the bride take her place.

"So how are you two doing?" He asked after they had been dancing a while.

"Very well when we are together" said James "which is precious little now that we are in different units"

"Ah, well once you had made your relationship public there was no other option if you both wanted to stay in" commiserated Beck. "But you will find a way for it to work. Sherman and I did and we had much bigger barriers to overcome"

Beck looked fondly up at Morley on the stage as he sang on:

"Who knows where the road will lead us

Only a fool would say..."

James cleared his throat "I'm meeting her family tomorrow"

"Oh, big step. How do you feel about that?"

"Nervous, but not as nervous as Molly I think." Admitted James

"I am sure it will be fine." Beck reassured him "Just be yourself and tell Molly not to worry. Oh, I think its my turn for a song, excellent!"

The bride hurried away, passing Morley on the way and giving him a quick peck on the cheek.

The American then walked over to James. "Let's grab a drink. I'm going to need one during this performance."

Beck and James had just reached the bar when Beck launched into his number

"First I was afraid I was petrified

Kept thinking I could never live without you by my side..."

"Oh god. A large scotch please" said Morley to the bar tender, then turning to James "I hear you meet your new company on Monday"

"Yes sir that's right. We have been prepping over the last month and start formal training next week. Two section have been great and will form the backbone of the new company"

James looked over at his men who were in a line in the middle of the dance floor, arms raised towards the stage and joining in with the chorus:

"Go on now go, walk out the door

Just turn around now

'Cause your not welcome anymore..."

"Well the world appears to be in safe hands" said Morley with a hint of irony

James smiled. "I'm not going to pretend there aren't going to be significant challenges"

If he was honest he was viewing the next few days with some trepidation. A new company and Molly's parents...it was going to be a big week...


	17. Chapter 17 Park Life

Chapter 17

James scrutinised his new charges with an appraising eye. They were young, very young and at least one looked as if he was about to cry.

"What am I going to do with you lot?" He asked.

A figure at the end of the line raised a hand and let out an 'oh, oh, oh' sound.

"Yes?" Said James

"Can we play mummies and daddies?"

The rest of the line groaned

"Oh that's booooring" moaned the eldest boy. Josh was his name and he was nine. His two brothers, Lenny (five) and Jake (three) nodded emphatically in agreement whilst Rosie their sister (seven) huffed and stamped her foot petulantly.

James scratched his head. Events had certainly taken an unexpected turn. The last thing he had anticipated was to end up being in sole charge of Molly's younger siblings.

Lenny now had his hand up "Mr Bossman, why are you doing that funny thing with your tongue? When Thomas Millet does that at school we have to tell teacher 'cos it means he needs his medicine. Do you need your medicine now?"

"No, it doesn't mean I need medicine, it means I am thinking." Said James defensively "And you don't have to call me Mr Bossman, you can call me Charles if you like"

"But Molly says that makes you sound a bit poncy and stuck up" said Josh with a smile.

"Does she? What does she call me then" asked James curiously

"Sexy bum!" They all shouted and wiggled their bottoms whilst laughing uproariously.

James smiled "ok, ok settle down. We need something to keep you occupied until your parents come back..."

James racked his brains. Despite having a son of his own, he was not that experienced at keeping kids occupied. Four tours of Afghan and various other deployments meant that he had spent a lot less time with Sam than he had wanted. It was something he regretted deeply and resolved to make amends at the first opportunity.

"Ok, how about the park?" He said.

"Yer!" Came the shouted response.

"Right, coats and shoes on, oh and Josh, go to the toilet, you have been jiggling around like a lunatic for the past five minutes"

The kids ran from the room shouting. James shook his head and reflected on the days events. It had all started off so well. He and Molly had travelled across London from the hotel they had stayed in after the wedding and arrived at Rochford Close around mid morning.

Molly had seemed nervous so James gave her a reassuring squeeze of the hand as they mounted the stairs. On entering her home they were met with a chaotic scene, including children running up and down the stairs and Molly's mum Belinda shouting from the front room:

"Dave if you don't take those creased trousers off, so help me I'll iron them while you are still in them, and you know what happened last time I tried that, I couldn't get rid of the smell of singed pubes from the place for... Oh hello love...!"

Belinda had put the iron down and came out from behind the ironing board. "We weren't expecting you for a bit. You must be Charles, it's lovely to meet you"

At that point Molly's dad had come hopping into the room, half out of a pair of trousers and with Union Jack Y fronts in full view " all right woman, I don't know what all the fuss is about, I'm sure Major La-di-da won't be inspecting my...oh, alright Moll"

There was an awkward silence as they all stared at each other and scrupulously avoided looking at Dave's patriotic underwear.

"It's very nice to meet you Mr and Mrs Dawes" said James "I'm sorry we seem to have arrived at an...in opportune time"

"Oh don't worry. Sit down while I put this ironing board away." Then to her husband in an undertone "put your trousers on will you, I think we've all seen enough of your pants"

Dave finished dressing then stood nervously by the door. "Get across town alright?"

"Yes, tube was fine" said Molly.

"Ere Molly put the kettle on would you?" Called Belinda from the next floor, then to the children on the stairs "your sister and her fella are here, go and say hello"

There was the sound of running feet in the hall and four children of varying ages and heights appeared in the doorway. They hovered shyly then the smallest said "hello".

James smiled and said "hello" back which was the signal for them all to turn around and charge up the stairs again.

Molly shook her head and got up to make the tea. "Where's Bella?" She asked her dad.

"Up in her room. She's been in there all morning getting ready"

Molly walked passed him into the hallway. "Bella, what you up to?"

"Nothin'" came the response from above. Then footsteps were heard on the stairs and Bella had walked in dressed in the shortest of skirts and heavily made up. "Hello, you must be Charles" she said extending her hand in a very coquettish way.

James got up and took it "hello Bella, nice to meet you"

Dave looked his daughter up and down "blimey, he said. I hope you're not going out like that. You look like you're on the game!"

"Oh shut up dad!" Shouted Bella and flounced from the room.

Dave looked at James and shook his head "Daughters hey?"

James smiled. Then silence fell.

James had looked around the room then looked at Dave and smiled again.

"Sooo, you been to a match recently?" He had asked nodding in the direction of the nearby stadium.

"No, can't afford it. You a football fan?"

"No, not really... Rugby man myself"

"Oh..."

"You like rugby?"

"No..."

"Oh..."

Silence had fallen again. The clock had ticked on the wall.

"Tea up" said Molly walking in with two steaming mugs. "What you two been talking about?"

"Oh this and that" said Dave.

Just then the phone had rung in the hallway and Belinda had run down the stairs to answer it.

"Hello..., Mum where are you?...oh bloody hell! Ok we'll get there as soon as we can"

Belinda had looked flustered as she came into the living room.

"Everything alright mum?" Asked Molly

"No it's your Nan. She's been caught out with some moody food again and she's having a bit of trouble" said Belinda with a meaningful stare. "She needs some help getting home from the place they have taken her..."

Molly looked at James who had taken her hand reassuringly. "Food poisoning can be a nasty business. Go with your mum. I'll be fine here for a little while"

"Errr, ok" responded Molly uncertainly.

"You need me?" Said Dave hopefully.

"How are you going to be any help where Nan is?" Molly asked

"Fair point" said Dave after a moments consideration.

Molly had given James a quick peck on the cheek saying "I'll text you when I know what's going on" then her and Belinda had gone.

Dave and James had sat in the front room again...

"So what you up to now, in the Army I mean" said Dave after a while.

"Oh, this and that" responded James

"I understand, bit hush hush" said Dave touching his nose. "If you told me you'd have to kill me, right?"

"Probably" said James

Dave had laughed a little nervously then fell silent...

Just then footsteps were heard on the stairs.

"Is that you Bella?" Said Dave getting up and walking into the hallway. "I thought I told you to change? You want to be careful girl 'cos cold sores ain't the half of it if you're not careful!"

"Whatever" said Bella and the front door had slammed shut, immediately followed by the shouting of the younger siblings as they stampeded down the stairs.

"Oh great" said Dave " stuck with the baby sitting"

Just then the house phone had rung again and Dave went to answer it "'ello?, oh 'ello mate. Yer, yer. Oh ya jokin' aren't ya? Hang on"

Dave had put the phone down and popped his head around the front room door.

"Ere, Charles, you wouldn't mind if I popped out quickly. It's just that a umm...business associate of mine has asked for an urgent meeting up at the Central...err labour exchange"

"Oh well that does sound important...sure no worries I'll be..."

"There in five" said Dave to his friend and had put the phone down "bye" he shouted and the front door slammed again.

"O-Kay" said James to himself. He had then spotted four small faces staring at him from different heights around the door frame.

"Right you lot let's have you in a line in front of me" he had said...

James surveyed the scrum at the bottom of the stairs as four children tried to put coats and shoes on at the same time in a limited space.

Lenny came groping towards him a jumper half pulled over his head. "I'm stuck, help!" He yelled.

James bent down and pulled it all the way down "there you go. Josh, can you help Jake with his shoes he can't go out with a welly on one foot and a sandal on the other . Rosie, yes you can take your pushchair but you're going to have to leave your dolls house here. Right, everyone ready? Then let's go"

Jake laughed like a drain at this and pointed at James "Daddy Pig!"

They trooped out the door, along the passage and down the stairs. According to Josh the nearest open space was just around the corner and sure enough the gates of the park came into view after only a few minutes. Just as they reached them Molly's muffled voice was heard issuing from James' pocket:

"Sometimes I don't know how I'm able to keep my hands off you"

James put his hand in his pocket and dragged out his phone. Rosie looked over "have you got Molly in your pocket?"

James smiled "no it's just my new text alert" he looked at the screen and then typed a quick message. "right you lot, your mum and sister will be back in half an hour so let's sprint the last 50 metres to the swings!"

The kids charged ahead and they were all soon at the play equipment. Lenny then started running around in circles shouting "aaaargh! I need to go to the toilet, emergency, emergency!"

"Well there's nothing like giving me some notice" said James grimacing "come with me" and he led him over to some nearby bushes.

"Go on then, and make sure you don't pee on your shoes"

Lenny did as he was told and just as he was finishing a rustling sound was heard coming from deep within the bushes. Moments later there was a groaning sound and a figure erupted from the thicket in a long tatty coat. James glimpsed the bloodshot eyes and moved like lightening, impelled by pure instinct.

Grabbing a wrist he twisted and flung the shambling figure over his shoulder then grabbing a large stone went to drive it into the skull of the prone man.

"Sorry gov'ner didn't mean nothing!" Gibbered the would be assailant.

James stayed his hand just in time and, keeping his grip on the man, looked around at the kids. They were all staring at him open mouthed.

"Wow, that was soooo cool" said Josh "like a Ninja!"

Lenny walked over and looked down at the man " its Terry the tramp" he said "hello Terry"

"Shazza says you shouldn't call him that" scolded Rosie "he is a victim of a dysfunctional housing benefit system"

James helped the man up. "Sorry... I thought you were a, a... never mind"

"Not to worry mate. No harm done!" And the man shuffled off.

James watched him go then turned back to the kids. "Right who wants to go down the slide?..."

Twenty minutes later Molly and Belinda arrived.

"How's your Nan?" Asked James

"Fine, let off with a caution" said Molly

"Sorry?" Said James confused

"Errr, by the doctor. You know, warned her about checking the use by date before eating anything" explained a flustered Molly

"Oh, right. Anyway what say I treat everyone to lunch. I understand there is a Wimpey on the Barking Road"

"How did you know that?" Asked Belinda puzzled

"Oh I must have heard it on the telly" said James...

At the same time on a golf course in Surrey an overweight, middle aged man walked up one of the fairways of a very expensive golf club. He stopped suddenly as his phone started to ring. Checking the screen first he took the call:

"Yes Rupert? Ok...ok...yes...I understand"

Hanging up the man then tapped in a number and waited while it rang.

"General Collins please...Jack? Its Bertie, I need a favour..."


	18. Chapter 18 Lieutenant Ash

Chapter 18

"The importance of a shared vision cannot be over stated. Front loaded engagement of all key stakeholders to ensure early buy in will safeguard the optimum flight path of the project and make sure it is not imperilled by foreseeable and preventable risks. If these reputational and process driven risks can be identified and effectively mitigated at the inception and strategy formulation stage then successful delivery of key aims and objectives can be achieved at implementation. Now before we unpack the practicalities of stakeholder engagement strategy formulation and the structures of risk registers are there any immediate questions or queries?"

Mansfield Mike paused and looked around the room. The audience stared back at him open mouthed. Brains made to speak but then blew out a breath, shook his head and shrugged.

Smurf then tentatively raised his hand. Mansfield Mike pointed at the private "yes?"

Smurf let out a series of grunting sounds which the lecturer nodded along to but then looked slightly confused. "What do you mean 'would the steaks they were holding be raw or cooked?' I am not talking about those sort of steaks!"

James, who was standing at the back of the room, smiled. Mansfield Mike was certainly taking his new responsibilities very seriously and always seemed to have his head in one training manual or another these days.

James was glad that he was working hard to repay his faith in him. It had been one less thing to worry about as he had set about building his new company up to combat fitness over the last three weeks.

The new Major glanced along the rows of seats in front of him. The former two section were all there and proving their worth in his new company. They made up nearly all the NCOs and senior privates under his command and he had spread them among his new sections ensuring that there were experienced, level heads throughout his unit. Even Smurf was treated with respect by the new men, his exploits in Afghanistan during their last tour ensuring his loyalty and bravery in the face of the enemy was now unquestionable.

The training facilities in the special operations base were also excellent. They were shared with other elite formations and that is where one of James' current issues lay.

There was a clear tension between the more established units and his own, born predominantly of ignorance among the others as to the intricacies of zombie warfare. The use of Karaoke machines and swimming pools in particular had caused much hilarity and the nickname 'the Airheads' was now often heard around the base in a derogatory context.

Worst still a craze had swept the camp of likening the SZS to the Royal Artillery Concert Party in 'It Ain't Half Hot Mum'. This tended to manifest itself in the singing of the main theme tune to the programme 'Meet the Gang' whenever members of the SZS were nearby followed by calls of 'bunch of poofs', a particular catchphrase of the show.

Just in the last week things had come to a head when the main mess was the scene of a confrontation between three section and a group of soldiers from another unit. Luckily James had been passing and was able to put a stop to the argument before it had deteriorated into a brawl.

Now as James studied his NCOs he was acutely aware that he and they would not always be about to defuse the situation.

James eyes then travelled the length of the room and, alighting on the figure of lieutenant Ash, his face took on a deep frown.

Ash had been a very late replacement for the original appointee as his second in command, Martin Samuels. James had served with Samuels before and he knew him to be an excellent officer. He was therefore confused as to the late change, particularly since his conversations with Samuels up to then had indicated a man excited by his new appointment.

James' inquiries up the chain of command had provided little enlightenment other than to confirm that the change had come 'from the top'. This indicated to James that some nepotism may very well have been at play, which was bad enough, but Ash was also turning out to be a less than perfect appointment.

James had to admit that the man hadn't actually done anything wrong as such, in fact Ash was scrupulous in following procedures and practices. It was more the man's demeanour generally, even with James. There always appeared to be a sneer of contempt hovering near the surface of his features matched with an almost complete inability to personally relate to anyone other than at the most superficial level. This seeming absence of empathy made the man impossible to warm to and, more worryingly, to respect as an officer or an individual.

James shook his head and closed his eyes. These issues would all be much easier to grapple with if he wasn't also missing Molly terribly. He had not seen her for three weeks, since the meeting with her parents, and although they texted every day and spoke on the phone three of four times a week it was not the same as seeing her.

He smiled to himself as he recalled their last few hours together. They had been preparing to leave Molly's house just as Dave had arrived back from his business meeting. James had assured everyone that he understood completely why Dave had had to leave so urgently, the prospect of paid work being strong justification. However this had not stopped a whispered argument ensuing between Belinda and Dave in the kitchen whilst James had stood in the hallway saying his farewells to Molly's numerous siblings. James could not work out the exact cause of the disagreement but thought he had heard Belinda mutter "business meeting my arse" and suggest to Dave that she could work out what he had been up to by the smell of 'sauce' on his breath.

Molly also seemed less than pleased with her father and, although he thought she was being a little unfair, James did not say anything, wanting nothing to spoil their last evening together before they parted to take up their separate postings.

The two of them had travelled up west again for dinner. There Molly had apologised again for abandoning James but he would not hear of it, insisting that he had had enormous fun that afternoon. He had also mentioned that it had been somewhat informative and teased Molly relentlessly about what secrets he had managed to coax from her brothers and sisters.

Of particular note was her seeming obsession with the all-in, no holds barred, celebrity mud wrestling tour which travelled the length of the country holding tournaments at various historic locations. Molly had looked mortified and spluttered some excuse about it being recommended viewing as part of her medics training, the study of male anatomy in combat situations being invaluable. James had given her a stern look, but was only able to maintain it for a second before bursting into peels of laughter and assuring Molly that anything which provided her with ideas for their next weekend away was alright with him.

On a serious note, James had confided to Molly that he didn't think he had made a great impression on her Dad mainly because they had very little in common. He had wondered whether Dave would accept an invitation from James for the both of them to attend a West Ham home game and Molly said she was sure he would, promising to ask her Dad the following day.

After the meal they had had a tearful parting at Paddington Station where James caught the train home to Bath. Molly then travelled back to East Ham before rejoining her regiment the following day but not before texting James to confirm that Dave had been delighted to accept his invitation.

Back in the present, James reflections were interrupted by his company clerk who told him that he had a telephone call from a Lieutenant Colonel Morley on the secure line. James smiled and excused himself before walking back to his office to take the call.

"Colonel Morley, welcome back, how was the honeymoon?" asked James

"It was great, thanks. Jonathan loved New York and has already picked out the perfect location for his first US store" replied Morley

"Wow, going international is he? That's fantastic!" Exclaimed James

"Yep, he's very excited about it...So how's it going there?" Went on Morley

James outlined their activity over the previous few weeks. He kept his various concerns to himself, they were matters for him to deal with as the company commander and, although Morley would sympathise, it was not something he could directly influence.

"You seem to be making good progress" commented the American "Now Major, I recommend that you focus your future training activity on urban environments. We have received new intel that there may be a domestic attack currently at the planning stage targeting one of your big cities."

James was visibly shocked "really sir? That is a significant change of tactics. Any word on which group it is"

"No not yet" said Morley "but our new source seems to check out so we are taking it seriously. He has also indicated that there are other things going on but he is not quite sure what yet."

"He sir?" Queried James

"Yes, we are pretty sure he is a male who seems to have access to certain information sources. He calls himself 'Espio'" said Morley

"S.P.O sir?" queried James

"No, E.S.P.I.O." Clarified Morley. "We think its a corruption of the Spanish word 'espia' which means spy. Chances are we will never know who he really is."

James thanked Morley for the information and rang off. He then went in search of Ash to brief him on the change of training focus.

James found the lieutenant berating a private in one section over a mistake in the stowing of some element of equipment. The Major grimaced at the very public dressing down but did not interfere as he did not wish to undermine his second in command. However James made a mental note to raise the issue privately with Ash at an appropriate time.

The unfortunate soldier was soon dismissed and James was able to call over "Lieutenant Ash, new orders, briefing in one hour"

Ash turned to James and for a split second the mask was not in place. James saw the fleeting outline of a grimace of pure hatred before the mans features resolved themselves back into the blank formal expression he always wore. "Yes Major".

"That man is going to be trouble" thought James, not for the first time, before turning and walking back towards his office...

The long plush hotel corridor led away into the distance. A figure silently walked across the deep, expensive carpet, checking off the room numbers on the doors until it reached the one it sought. The figure then knelt down and pushed a folded piece of paper half under the door and gave two sharp knocks before walking swiftly away.

A few seconds later the door opened a crack and was then pulled wider to reveal the minister. He wore a loose fitting dressing gown which was open at the front, revealing the leading edge of a sizeable paunch. On his head he sported a top hat pitched at a jaunty angle.

The minister stepped out of the doorway and checked up and down the corridor before shrugging and turning back towards the room. As he made to re-enter he trod on the folded paper. Reaching down he picked up and unfolded the note. After scanning the location and date written therein he took a deep breath and murmured "so it begins".

A woman's voice was heard from the room: "Bertie, oh Bertie are you coming?" To which the minister responded:

"The fat controller is coming my dear, ready to stoke your boiler. After all you are a really useful engine..."

And with a chuckle, the minister walked into the hotel room, pulling the door shut behind him.


	19. Chapter 19 Administrative Action

Chapter 19 Administrative Action

Major Charles James sat at his desk and looked at Kinders steadily:

"Sargent Kinders, this hearing has been called to consider evidence regarding an alleged incident of personal misconduct that potentially breaches the letter or spirit of the Values and Standards of the army. Lieutenant Ash is the originating officer and will present evidence of the alleged breach. You have elected to have the Corporal here as assisting officer to help you present your defence, is that correct?"

James paused to await confirmation.

"Yes that is correct sir" said Kinders

At that point Mansfield Mike made to stand whilst trying to balance a large pile of documents on his lap, with the result that they fell in an avalanche of paper and fanned across the floor of James' office

"Your honour I..." began the Corporal

"No need to say anything at this stage Corporal" interrupted James. "And you don't have to call me your honour, this is not a court and I am not a judge. Sir or Major James will do"

"Y-yes your Jamesness, I mean sir Major, I mean sir" Mansfield Mike jabbered as he scrabbled around on the floor collecting his notes.

James waited for the corporal to finish then continued "I as the deciding officer will consider the evidence presented and impose a sanction. Depending on the seriousness of the alleged breach, sanctions can range from extra duties through to dismissal from the army. Is that understood?"

Again James paused for a response.

"Sir!" Confirmed Kinders

"Very well. Lieutenant Ash, please proceed" said James

Ash stood up with a hint of a smirk on his face which quickly dissolved as he noticed James scrutinising him. "On the afternoon of Thursday last..."

James let the words wash over him. He new the details well enough. He and Ash had been discussing some aspect of the new training regime in the lobby of the company admin block. Outside on the main parade ground Kinders had been marching three section back from the firing range. A group of soldiers from another unit were congregated outside the mess and had started to sing:

"Meet the gang, 'cos the boys are here

The boys to entertain you"

Three section had come to a halt, Kinders seemingly ignoring the singing whilst he issued orders and instructions and saw to the stowing of various pieces of equipment.

"With songs, and sketches, and jokes old and new

With us about, you won't feel blue"

Once this had been completed, Kinders had his men form up again, preparatory to finally dismissing them to other duties. The song had come to a conclusion and the bystanders had just shouted the mocking coda "bunch of puffs!" when Kinders filled his lungs and ordered:

"Squad. Camp it...up!"

Lieutenant Ash paused in his re telling of events to take a sip of water.

"At which point three section launched into a pre-prepared routine of mincing walks and dance steps mixed with marching manoeuvres. This was accompanied by a recitation of the lyrics to the Monty Python sketch 'Military Fairy'. Once this was completed..."

"I think Lieutenant" interrupted James "that we should have a full account of the incident"

Ash's eyes narrowed but he nodded then ran a finger along the collar of his uniform shirt before he read out:

"Oooh get her! Whoops!

I've got your number ducky.

You couldn't afford me, dear. Two three.

I'd scratch your eyes out.

Don't come the brigadier bit with us, dear,

We all know where you've been, you military fairy!

Whoops, don't look now girls,

The major's just minced in

With that dolly colour sergeant,

Two, three, ooh-ho!"

Ash's rendition was delivered in a formal and stilted way which contrasted markedly with the meaning of the text. The net result was an incongruous spectacle of significant comic effect and James had to work hard not to smile despite the seriousness of the situation.

Unfortunately Mansfield Mike was unable to exercise the same self control and bent his face down towards his notes in an ill conceived and ultimately ineffective attempt to conceal the tears of laughter streaming down his face and dripping off the end of his nose.

James tried not to look at him, knowing that any eye contact would set him off and lead to the whole proceedings degenerating into an utter farce. He did however manage to ask the corporal if he required a moment to compose himself.

Mansfield Mike answered after a few seconds in a somewhat strangled tone "yessir...hay fever sir" before pulling a handkerchief from his pocket and whipping his eyes and nose.

Lieutenant Ash had meanwhile stopped reading out the evidence and was staring coldly at the assisting officer.

James cleared his throat "ok, please proceed Lieutenant"

Ash started to read from his notes once more and James again thought back to the day in question...

The group of spectators had looked on in astonishment at the display and once it was over had stood silently before breaking out into a cacophony of cheers and applause.

James, who had walked out of the admin block to get a better view of three sections performance had smiled at the obvious victory which had been secured. By showing they were not bothered by the taunts and were, in fact, ready to laugh at themselves three section had not only diffused a tense situation but neutralised the running joke and gained a small measure of respect from those present.

James had turned to Ash to share his thoughts only to see the man stalking towards three section almost apoplectic with rage. "What the hell was that all about sergeant? My office now!" He had spluttered at Kinders before stalking off.

Kinders dismissed his detail and followed the lieutenant, his face expressionless.

James had groaned inwardly. Did Ash not see how effective Kinders actions had been? Now that the lieutenant had shown his displeasure so publicly James could not be seen to interfere without fatally undermining the standing of his second in command. Why oh why had Ash not discussed the incident with him before acting?

James had hope that Ash would calm down before he got to his office but that had clearly not happened, as shortly after the lieutenant had submitted a formal report and triggered the administrative action which was now being played out.

Lieutenant Ash finished reading out the evidence and sat down. James thanked him and turned to the assisting officer. "Corporal, would you like to say anything on behalf of Sergeant Kinders?"

Mansfield Mike had stood up, hooked his thumbs through the flaps of his breast pockets and started to pace the small area of floor in front of James' desk.

"Your hon...erm...sir, I would like to call as my first witness..."

"Corporal, once again this is not a court, we do not have witnesses and you are not Perry Mason" explained James patiently.

"Of course sir, objection sustained so to speak...Ok, I would like to start by asking lieutenant Ash whether he actually saw Sergeant Kinders give the order to perform the alleged routine"

Ash considered and answered "No but I..."

"A-ha, no further questions, sir" said Mansfield Mike and resumed his seat in triumph.

James stared at the Corporal "ummm, is there nothing else you want to say?"

Mansfield Mike studied his papers. "Oh yes sir, thank you sir"

The corporal then got up again and turned to lieutenant Ash. "So sir, if you didn't see him how do you know he did it?"

Ash frowned and said, "because I heard him, as did Major James. We also have about thirty eye witnesses to the incident and Sergeant Kinders has not denied that he conceived the idea, drilled the men and gave the order"

The Corporal looked at Kinders who nodded his assent.

Mansfield Mike cleared his throat and shuffled his notes.

"What is it you are trying to achieve corporal?" Asked Ash in an amused tone.

"I want answers" said the corporal dramatically

"Well you have the truth" countered Ash

"You can't handle the truth" said Mansfield Mike in his best Jack Nicholson impression.

"Ok" interposed James. "Corporal, please don't tell me that the only preparation you have undertaken for today is to watch 'A Few Good Men'."

The corporal smiled sheepishly. "It is a good film sir"

James rolled his eyes "OK, can I just say that the events of the day are not in question, the issue is their impact on the efficiency or operational effectiveness of the army"

"Well there was no actual harm done sir was there?" Said Mansfield Mike.

Ash smiled and interposed "as you know sir, the service test encompasses the potential for adverse impact and proof of actual impact is not required. Simply because there is no evidence of any harm does not make it ok"

James looked over at his lieutenant. "Yes thank you, I am well aware of that."

Ash inclined his head stiffly. After a short pause James continued: "I have to conclude that there does appear to have been a minor technical breach of the service test here and that some sanction is warranted. Taking into account the nature of the incident and the Sergeant's impeccable service history, I rule that extra work and duties be allotted for a period if one week."

Lieutenant Ash made to object but a look from James silenced him. James then dismissed Kinders and Mansfield Mike. Once they had left Ash turned to James:

"I must inform you sir that I intend to refer your ruling to a higher authority"

"You have every right to do so lieutenant" James conceded " but have a care, you are in danger of incurring my displeasure and, more importantly, lose any respect you have among the men. This whole affair should never have got this far. Dismissed"

Ash stiffened but then muttered "sir" and walked from the room.

James rolled his shoulders to try and relieve some of the tension which had built up there through the day. It was time for a run and then he would Skype Molly. He smiled to himself and headed out the office...

An hour later James arrived back at his quarters having pounded the roadways of the base for five kilometres. He was tired but felt much better. Opening his laptop he clicked on the Skype icon and double clicked on Molly's photo.

After a few seconds a grainy image of Molly's smiling face appeared on the screen and all of James' worries seemed to fall away.

"Hello gorgeous" Said Molly

"Ditto" smiled James

"You look sweaty, been for a run?"

"Yes, had a bit of a day. Hang on..."James walked away from the lap top to grab a towel from the back of the door which he used to wipe the perspiration from his face.

"See you've got your lucky legs out" teased Molly.

"Lucky legs?" Said James

"Lucky they don't break!" Joked Molly

"Oh let it go will you! " said James with a smile.

Molly had teased him about the thinness of his legs ever since his long convalescence from injury had caused the muscles to wasted. James had worked hard on his physiotherapy to build up their bulk and they were now fully restored but Molly still liked to remind him of his previously knobbly knees.

"I am often complimented on my well rounded thighs and shapely calves" retorted James

"Mansfield Mike will say anything to get in your good books!" Said Molly "Anyway how has your day been?"

James sighed and recounted the events of the afternoon. Molly listened sympathetically and then opined at the end:

"With all due respect, Lieutenant Ash sounds like a bit of a twat"

"I make you right there" said James with a grimace.

Then from behind Molly came a chorus of laughter which caused her to look around.

"What's going on there?" Asked James.

"Oh they're working out their porn star names" said Molly. When James looked confused Molly rolled her eyes. "Didn't they teach you anything at Sandhurst? You can work out what your porn star stage name would be by joining your road name with the name of your first pet. So mine would be 'Rochford Fluff'"

James considered this, "yes very apt" he commented.

"Shut up!" Exclaimed Molly "ok go on then what would yours be?"

James thought for a moment "I guess it would be 'Royal Roger'" at which Molly dissolved into fits of giggles...

The following morning James was up early. After a light breakfast he headed into the office and started to tackle a pile of paperwork which had built up over the previous week.

Around mid morning the company clerk knocked on the door and popped his head in. "Division on the phone sir"

James nodded, "Very well put them through"

Ten minutes later Kinders was shown into James' office in response to an urgent summons.

James turned to his sergeant with a solemn face "Kinders, I'm sorry, my decision has been overturned by Division. You are to return to the regiment with immediate effect."

Kinders looked stunned "But why sir?"

"I don't know, but rest assured I will find out and when I do I will move heaven and earth to get you reinstated."

Kinders nodded and slowly left o pack his kit.

James watched him go then slumped into his chair. He was at a loss to explain the actions of his senior officers. He had argued and cajoled on the phone to division until he was on the cusp of insubordination himself.

He rubbed his eyes then stood up. If anyone would know what was going on Ash would. James resolved to have it out with the man. He strode to the door and out into the main office. Half way across the space his company clerk came running in from the operations room.

"Sir!" He called

"Not now private" ordered James

"But sir, London is being attacked...by zombies!"


	20. Chapter 20 The Cabaret Club

Chapter 20

James followed the clerk into the operations room and leaned over a computer screen which was streaming a live news broadcast. An aerial shot from a helicopter showed a dual carriageway littered with abandoned vehicles which then cut to a reporter at ground level standing behind police incident tap stretched across, presumably, the same road. He was speaking into a microphone and James turned the volume up to catch what he was saying

"...police are not confirming these reports but mobile phone images we have obtained suggest that the assailants stopped vehicles, pulled drivers and passengers from their seats and used their bare hands and teeth to attack them on the roadside"

The report cut to a series of grainy images showing a group of figures grappling with a man by a family saloon. One of the figures had turned to the camera and the screen zoomed in on the telltale red eyes and mucus covered mouth.

"My god!" Exclaimed James then turning to the clerk. "Get me division on the phone"

The reporter was back on screen:

"Police have offered no explanation as to the appearance of the attackers but witnesses have confirmed that all the men displayed similar characteristics. The whereabouts of the assailants and their victims is not currently known but police have cordoned off a large area around the Valley Ground"

"Valley Ground?" Asked James of the clerk

"Charlton F.C sir, South East London" he responded then "Division Sir"

James grabbed the receiver...

The chinook hovered above the A206 then slowly descended to where a space had been cleared among the abandoned cars and vans. The rear door descended slowly and James strode out at the head of two contingents of SZS.

They were met by a uniformed police commander in a high visibility vest.

"Major James?" Shouted the officer

James nodded and they walked away from the helicopter, coming to a halt on a wide section of pavement bordering the road.

"I'm Commander Richardson, the incident commander. We have closed down a wide area around the crime scene. The suspects came from the direction of the football ground" the officer pointed across the road to the south "accessed the dual carriageway just over there, perpetrated the attack and then escaped with hostages northwards into the retail estate behind us. As far as we can ascertain they are still in there somewhere."

James unfolded a map of the area and studied it for a few seconds.

"Ok commander, can you show me the extent of your cordon".

The officer indicated a large area encompassing the estate and surrounding streets.

James nodded "Very well, I propose to deploy units here and here" James indicated two different parking areas within the estate. If your officers spot the suspects, radio the position and we will come to them. They should not attempt to engage with the hostiles, is that understood?"

The commander answered in the affirmative.

"Once we have completed the operation we will radio in."

James then turned to his men. "Ok, listen in, information suggests these are Mark One hostiles so we can get up close and personal. Lieutenant Ash you will take one section to this area" James indicated a position on the map. "...and deploy the immersion equipment. Just to be safe let's have pickets posted along a 50 metre perimeter, we don't want any Mark Twos taking us by surprise. Radio in when you are ready."

Ash nodded and doubled away with his detail.

James turned to Mansfield Mike "ok Corporal let's get set up" and the remainder of the detail moved off in the opposite direction.

Within fifteen minutes both sections were fully deployed and Mansfield Mike was launching into his greatest hits whilst Private Williams, the section's SHAAt operative, climbed into the pool.

James swept the area with his binoculars, scanning the nearby building line and access roads.

"Any movement Ash?" James asked into his headset

"Nothing yet sir" answered the lieutenant

"Roger that"

Half an hour later there had still been no evidence of any hostiles, and James was just starting to consider shifting position when a movement caught his eye. Raising his binoculars he focussed in on the relevant area and two shuffling figures came into focus.

"Contact right, wait out" he said into his head set.

Mansfield Mike sang on:

"Pussycat, Pussycat, I've got flowers

And lots of hours

To spend with you."

"I've got eyes on sir," called through a picket. "Confirm engage"

"Negative to that Private" ordered James

The figures approached them slowly and resolved into an elderly man and woman, carrying two large shopping bags each and staring down at the ground in front of them. They grunted rhythmically as they walked.

"Confirm Mark Ones. Ready immersion and restraint team" ordered James tensely.

Baz Vegas and three other soldiers approached the pool and stood ready. Private Williams shifted uneasily in the pool.

"Steady men. On my word" said James.

Mansfield Mike belted out the chorus:

"What's new, Pussycat?

Whoa, whoa

What's new, Pussycat?

Whoa, whoa"

The couple were within a few metres of the pool when they came to a stop. The lady then put down her shopping bags and reached into her pocket.

"I have clear sight sir" said a picket

"Wait out" called James

The lady produced a purse and opened it with a loud click, before scrabbling inside and pulling out two coins which she threw into the pool. They entered the solution with a soft plop and sank immediately. She then looked at James and smiled.

"I do love a bit of Tom Jones me" she said "but you're not going to get many punters busking around here today dear. You should try the high street"

She then turned around, picked up her bags and shuffled away, her husband following a few paces behind.

James watched them go then radioed out "stand down, false alarm."

He scanned the retail park one more time then let out a breath "this is hopeless" he said to himself then talked into his headset again. "Lieutenant Ash, let's see if we can't ferret them out. Send a squad to sweep the shop units to the north"

"Yes sir" came the crackling response.

James turned to his detail "Corporal, Smurf, with me. Bas Vegas stay here and keep trying."

The small group of soldiers made for a nearby row of industrial units. As James reached the first one he tried the door and pulled on the adjacent roller shutter finding them locked. He signalled for the others to do the same and they worked down the row of units with the same result, all were shut up tight with no sign of activity.

They were about to move on when a scream pierced the quiet afternoon, followed by another. "Over there" said James and doubled over to the last unit they had checked.

"Ok let's get it open" he ordered and Smurf brought his rifle but down on the door handle, knocking it out of shape and splintering the wood around it. Another scream, followed by a long moan prompted James to stride over and finish the job with a powerful kick. The lock gave way and the door crashed open. James then barged in to the room beyond closely followed by his men.

James stopped dead at the sight which met his eyes. The room had some scattered pieced of heavy, dark wooden furniture draped with rich fabric which spilled in luxurious folds across the floor. These intermingled with deep fur rugs arranged layer on layer in the central space whilst plump, soft cushions with a stag motif were scattered here and there.

In the middle of this scene stood a tall muscular man, naked but for a long, fur trimmed cloak which cascaded from his broad shoulders and spread behind him in a regal train. But most striking of all was the nude woman who nestled against his chest, arms flung around the man's neck and legs wrapped around his powerful oiled torso.

As James watched, the woman arched her back and let out another scream followed by the deep moaning noise they had heard from outside. James advanced further into the room "British Army, nobody move!" He said at which point the woman twisted around in surprise, lost her grip and started to fall backwards with a despairing cry.

James ran forward and caught her in his arms then placed her gently on the fur rug.

A voice shouted from the shadows:

"Cut, cut, cut! Ok who ordered the soldiers? I thought we had the guy in the gorilla suit coming in next? "

A small fat man advanced into the middle of the room sporting a loud Hawaiian shirt and a black beret.

"Right everybody, take five. Someone get that poor girl a robe and let's have the fluffer in, this guy's ledge is starting to recede"

James stared at the man. "What the hell is going on here?"He said.

"What is going on here is the creation of high art for a very specialist..." The man tailed off and starred at James "oh my god, what did you just do with your tongue! Chris come out here and have a look at this."

Chris emerged from the shadows and removed a set of earphones.

"There, did you see that Chris?"

"I did, I haven't seen that kind of tongue action since Dick 'the lick' Johnson retired. Young man you could make a fortune in this business"

James stared at the two men in utter confusion "we need to know if you have seen any zombies around here"

Chris looked at his colleague and sucked in a breath. "Loads here last week when we were filming 'Night of the Wanking Dead' but none since then I think..."

James nodded, "well thank you for your time gentlemen. We will let you get on with your ummm work"

"You could try the Cabaret Club" suggested the Hawaiian shirt. "They might have seen something"

"The Cabaret Club?" Said James...

The soldiers walked down a side road following the directions provided to them.

"Sir" said Mansfield Mike "I never knew they did porn movies anymore. Thought the whole business had fallen through cos of the internet"

"Really private, you seem to know a lot about it" said James

"Well sir, they say that 87% of young men use the internet for porn, so what does that tell you?" Replied the Corporal.

"Tells me that 13% of young men are liars" replied James "...here we are"

They approached a solid looking black door set in the side of a warehouse. Mansfield Mike knocked and a small hatch opened to reveal a pair of suspicious eyes. "British Army" said James

"Oh thank goodness" said the owner of the eyes and opened the door hurriedly. "We have been trying to get hold of you. Follow me"

The man led them through a dimly lit corridor and out into a back stage area. "They are through there" he said, indicating a curtained doorway.

"How many of them are there?" Asked James

"Four" said the man.

"Ok" said James biting his lip then turning to his men "we will need to use the wands I think". They all drew one from their belts and advanced through the curtain.

On the other side they were blinded by a bright light which made them all cover their eyes. This was followed by a chorus of wolf whistles and cheers from beyond the lights which gave way to loud music.

To his right James made out four figures stood in a line also facing the lights. There seemed to be a policeman, a builder, a biker and a man with a cowboy hat on.

James crouched waiting for an attach but instead the men remained facing the same way. Suddenly the four started to sing along to the music whilst pointing rhythmically in front of them.

"Young man, there's no need to feel down.

I said, young man, pick yourself off the ground."

Mansfield Mike shouted in James ear "don't think they're zombies sir"

"Indeed. Let's get out of here." Responded James

They retreated back through the curtain where James walked into a figure clad in a magnificent costume made entirely of huge black feathers.

"Whoops-a-daisy" said a familiar voice. "James, Smurf, Mansfield? What in all that is holy are you doing here?"

"Its a long story Jonathan" said James smiling at his former Major

"Oh god, you're not part of that awful Village People tribute band are you?"

"No, we are actually on operational duty" said James

"What, zombies here? Mind you, I have seen stranger things, especially on open mic night"

"They are somewhere in the area, we just need to track them down" confirmed James

"Well I've seen nothing unusual" said Beck "but if anyone can attract them you can dear. You could make a vegetarian crave a good meaty sausage...Now I must get ready, it's a tough crowd out there and I have to be at my best"

"You sing here?" Queried James

"Oh every now and again. Little hobby of mine. Now toodle pip!" And Beck swept past them and through the curtained doorway where he was met by huge applause.

"Her name was Lola, she was a showgirl

With yellow feathers in her hair and a dress cut down to there.."

James smiled and led his men out of the club and back into the street.

He activated his radio "Ash, anything to report?"

"No sir, nothing from our sweep" responded the lieutenant.

"Roger that. Let's rendezvous back at the immersion tanks"

The three soldiers started to walk back to the car park when a large covered truck appeared out of a side road and sped away. James followed it curiously as it drove into the distance and disappeared around a corner.

"What do you think that was all about?" Said James

"Probably that tribute band making a quick getaway " said Mansfield Mike

"Yes maybe" mused James...

"We are calling the search off for the night" said Commander Richardson.

James and his men stood in a group near the edge of the police cordon, exhausted and demoralised after hours of fruitless sweeps across the area.

"Its clear that the suspects have evaded you." Said the officer sourly.

"I can only hope that the hostages do not suffer as a result"

James held his peace. He was at a loss to explain their inability to attract the zombies. Something wasn't right but he couldn't explain what. The only thing that was clear was that the SZS had failed and that there would be consequences...


	21. Chapter 21 The River

Chapter 21

The dark waters of the Thames reflected the lights of the city which edged its banks. James looked down at the ever shifting surface and contemplated the cold depths beneath. The river seemed somehow timeless, its ebb and flow continuing oblivious to the worries and cares of the people who spent their lives beside it. A stream of unconsciousness, thought James with a humourless smile.

This forgetful quality was what had drawn James here. He wanted to wipe his mind clean of the events of the last week. Seven days which had seen all his hopes and dreams destroyed and him become the subject of criticism and disgrace, angry comrades and bewildered loved ones. Worst of all was the image of Molly's confused and hurt expression. It overlaid his living nightmare, pervading his every thought.

James climbed clumsily onto the embankment wall and sat painfully on the cold capping stone. His side ached from what he suspected to be a cracked rib while his thigh was badly bruised. His face looked haggard and unwashed with thick stubble on his cheeks, his clothes torn and soiled. He was now ignored or shunned, excluded or chased away. He was tired, depressed and alone. He shifted nearer to the edge of the wall and stared fixedly at the water below.

A pattering of paws and a plaintive wining intruded into his thoughts. James looked back towards the walkway and saw a small dun coloured mongrel regarding him from the pavement.

"Hello you" said James."come up if you want to, plenty of room" and he patted the stone beside him.

The dog backed up slightly and took a running leap, landing lightly beside James who reached over and rubbed behind its ears.

The dog nuzzled his hand and James opened his palm saying "sorry, I've got nothing for you. I've got nothing for anyone anymore" and smiled sadly.

The mongrel let out a whin and half turned, cocking its leg and releasing a warm and pungent stream of urine which covered James' upper leg. It then jumped down and trotted off.

James looked down at the steaming stain on his trousers then turned his face to the sky as he felt heavy drops of cold rain start to fall on him. A giggle escaped from him, building into a hysterical belly laugh and transforming into a hacking cough which made him double over and clutch his injured side. It finally subsided leaving him panting for breath and contemplating the cold water below once more...

Exactly a week earlier, James and his men had returned to base from the Charlton operation, the search of the crime scene and surrounding area having been abandoned. The focus had shifted to a nationwide search for those involved, led by the civilian authorities, but questions were also being raised in the media as to the roll of the military in the initial operation. Who were the mysterious troops who had arrived and searched the area and why had they left without seeming to have accomplished anything?

James had been acutely aware of their failure to fulfil their mission and how it was affecting his men. The mood on the journey back had been subdued and in the debriefing afterwards some frustration had surfaced not helped by Ash's insensitive questioning as to whether all the procedures had been followed properly.

Worse still, James had been questioned closely by his superiors regarding every aspect of the mission and a subsequent report produced insisting on changes to the units training and operational processes. This had reduced morale further to the point where the inevitable flareup occurred.

Some days after the receipt of the report, Lieutenant Ash had been supervising the deployment of an immersion pool using a new automated inflation device. From what James could piece together from talking to reliable witnesses after the event, Ash had been so busy berating an inept private for not coiling an electric wire neatly enough that he had failed to uncouple the air hose from the pool.

The solution had been poured in and Private Williams, the SHAAtt operative, had taken up his post but all the while the rubber sides of the container had continued to expand. Ash had barked out orders whilst maintaining his tirade at the unfortunate soldier between times. Williams had eventually noticed something was amiss but had not dared interrupt the livid officer.

Smurf, who had been working nearby, noticed that something was wrong and shuffled over to Ash to attract his attention. The zombie had tried to communicate the situation to the officer but Ash had ignored him.

In the meantime the pool had taken on the size and shape of a giant ring donut with Williams trapped in the ever shrinking hole in the middle. Inevitably the sides had burst with an ear splitting bang, sending shreds of rubber in all directions and firing the unfortunate private high into the air like a human cannon ball. He had eventually landed on the roof of the medical centre some 50 metres distant, crashing through a sky light and into the main treatment room. This had turned out to be the first stroke of luck the man had encountered that day since, once the resident medic had recovered from the shock of the unexpected intrusion, he was able to administer immediate treatment.

When Ash and the others had picked themselves up, the lieutenant had vented his spleen on Smurf, accusing him of distracting Ash from the task in hand.

Mansfield Mike had arrived at the scene at this point and tried to explain to Ash what Smurf had been doing only to be accused of trying to cover up for his friend. When Mansfield Mike had denied this Ash had completely lost control and approached him brandishing his officer cane.

Smurf, concerned for his friend, had stepped forward, accidentally tripping the officer and sending him sprawling. Ash had scrambled up and turned on Smurf, accusing the zombie of attacking him and ordering the corporal to place him under arrest. When Mansfield Mike had pointed out that the fall was an accident he too had been arrested.

This was why by the time James had arrived, the scene was one of chaos and confusion with Ash purple with rage, Smurf and Mansfield flanked by MPs, equipment scattered all over the parade ground and the rest of the detachment wondering around dazed and half deaf from the recent explosion...

Back on the embankment by the Thames James shook his head, as if trying to dislodge the picture from his mind. However, instead the repercussions of that incident came crowding back...

Just as James had been about to take the situation in hand the base alarm had sounded and the company clerk came sprinting towards his Major calling out that there had been another zombie attack, this time just off Stevenage Road in Fulham, South West London.

James had done his best to rally his unit and prepare them for urgent deployment but he could not avoid their arriving much delayed at the scene. To his consternation he was informed that they were too late to help as the zombies and their hostages had again disappeared without a trace.

On his return to base James was informed that all SZS activity was to be suspended pending a full investigation of recent incidents. He had no choice but to comply and informed Ash and his remaining NCOs immediately.

It was a weary and deflated James that had entered his quarters that evening. He had opened his laptop hoping to speak to Molly but his attention was immediately drawn to an encrypted email from Morley asking him to get in contact urgently.

James had immediately left to use the secure line in the company ops room and was soon speaking to the American.

"James, I have worrying intel from my informant regarding the recent zombie incidents. He is pretty certain that they are not what they seem, that they are not being perpetrated by a terrorist organisation." Morley had said.

"Then what the hell is going on?" Queried James

"We don't know for certain but have our suspicions. I should know more soon and will contact you then. In the meantime watch your back." And with that Morley had signed off.

The following few days had been taken up with preparations for the formal investigation and the hearing into the immersion pool incident. With the latter, James had again found himself in a situation where he had to reprimand good and trusted soldiers under very questionable circumstances but he simply had no alternative in the face of Ash's testimony and the scrutiny of his senior officers. Although independant witnesses to the trip had meant that the greater charge of assaulting an officer could be dropped, there was still the matter of insubordination. James had given as lean a sentence as he dared and hoped that Smurf and Mansfield would understand the position he had been put in.

The formal investigation into the zombie incidents had been headed up by a General Collins who was appointed directly by the MoD and it was clear from the beginning that he had little sympathy for James or his command. His distaste at their methods was very apparent whilst the disciplinary record of his senior NCOs was the subject of scathing remarks. James had defended the unit to the utmost but had seen that his comments carried little weight with the investigating officers.

He had shared his concerns with Molly on one of the rare occasions when they had both had time to talk during that time and she had told him to keep strong, that she loved him and that whatever happened she would be there for him. He had drawn great strength from her belief in him, a belief that would be shattered the following day...

The cold of the stonework wall was seeping into James' tired bones and so he stood up, grabbing the adjacent ornate lamp column for support. He leaned out over the edge and looked down again into the swirling waters...

James had been roused from his troubled sleep by an early morning call from an aid to General Collins who said the investigating board would like to see him as soon as possible. James had washed and dressed and reported to the base's main admin block where he was shown into a large meeting room. At one end behind a desk had sat General Collins, reading a tabloid newspaper and with a laptop open in front of him. The General had not looked up as James had marched the length of the room, come to a halt and saluted.

Only once the general had finished the particular report he had been reading had he acknowledged James' existence.

"So Major" he had begun "would you care to explain this to me" and so saying he threw the paper onto the desk in front of him so that James had full view of the banner headline:

'We Want You As A New Recruit' with a full colour picture of James, Mansfield and Smurf on stage at the Cabaret Club with the Village People tribute band.

James stared in disbelief at the photo and stammered "Sir I can explain. It's not what it seems. For a start they were singing YMCA and not 'In the Navy'"

Collins glared at James "do you have an explanation Major?"

James had hurriedly recounted the circumstances surrounding the photograph. Collins made a few notes then nodded. "That seems plausible enough Major. Very unfortunate but plausible."

James let out a relieved breath.

"However, it doesn't help me with this" and at that the General had spun the laptop around so James could see the screen. On it a YouTube video was loading and after a few seconds started playing.

On the screen had appeared the all too familiar figures of a tall muscular man in a long fur lined cloak with a naked woman writhing and screaming whilst clinging to his chest. Then James had entered stage left shouting 'British Army, nobody move!' at which point the woman had screamed and fallen backwards into James' arms from where he had lowered her gently to the floor.

James had looked at the General thinking that the video was at an end but had been confused when the screen had cut to the naked woman kneeling by the midriff of a man in combat trousers whose upper body was out of shot. The woman was brandishing a soft measuring tape and rubbing it suggestively against a bulge in the man's groin area which ballooned slowly as she worked, the camera cutting periodically to shots of James' face performing his distinctive tongue roll.

James had stared at the screen in wide eyed, open mouthed, disbelief. Only when the screen had faded to black had he snap put of his trance and forced words from his parched mouth

"That's not how it happened" he croaked.

The General had glared back at him

"So you don't deny that it is you on the screen"

"No sir but..."

"And that you did those things" pursued the General.

"Most of them but..."

"Major, I cannot overstate the seriousness of the situation you are now in" said the General

"Why, who has seen this?" Said James in a quiet voice

"It is on the internet and has gone viral Major. Ten thousand views already and that's before the media picks it up." The general had confirmed

James had swayed unsteadily where he stood, his world crashing down around him. The general's next words seemed to come from a great distance away:

"Major I have no choice but to suspend you from duty and confine you to quarters until such time as a court-martial can be convened. If I was you I would spend your time updating your CV."

James had then been led away by two military policemen. He had walked through the base as if in a trance hardly aware of the activity around him. His thoughts had been in turmoil as he tried to come to terms with what had happened. It wasn't until he had entered his quarters that he became aware of the urgent vibration of the mobile phone in his pocket. He had eventually fished it out to find a short but succinct text message from Morley:

'Grave danger. Avoid all costs. Arcadia Hotel Gower St. Noon tomorrow.'

"I'll have to ask you for that sir" said one of the MPs "and your lap top."

James had quickly deleted the text, then offered the phone to the soldier but had released it a fraction early so that it had fallen to the ground between then. As the soldier leant down to get it James had grabbed his belt and collar and swung him around so he cannoned into his colleague. Both had been sent sprawling which enabled James to grab his phone and dart out of the door locking it behind him. He had then sprinted down the corridor followed by the furious shouts of the MPs.

James had headed for the main gate and climbed under the chassis of a departing lorry which had been idling there waiting to be let out.

Two hours later he had clambered down when the driver stopped at a service station. He had used the station toilet to remove his tunic top and tie and had bought a wind breaker from the shop. He had then taken stock. He was over 100 miles from London and had little money. He had dared not withdraw any or use his credit card as that would be an easy way to track his whereabouts. He had no option but to hitchhike so trooped out onto the roadside.

Some 10 minutes later a car travelling in the fast lane had braked suddenly and swerved across the road causing a blaring of horns as other drivers skided and swerved to avoid a pile up. The car had come to a halt on the hard shoulder a little distance from James and backed up at speed. He had had to move quickly to one side to avoid being run over and walked around to the drivers side where an excited middle aged lady had sat giggling nervously.

"I'm terribly sorry I nearly rear ended you!" She said "where are you headed?"

"London" said James

"Oh I'm going in the other direction but not to worry, the kids won't mind waiting three hours to be picked up while I make a slight detour"

James thanked her and climbed in. The journey which had ensued had been somewhat surreal, the conversation focussing on the use of various unusual domestic cleaning methods. James had had a vague feeling that he was somehow being propositioned but just kept smiling and nodding until he was dropped off at another petrol station on London's north circular.

James had then hiked in to town, spent some on his dwindling money on a bag of chips and had hunted around for a place to spend the night which he found in the form of a pedestrian subway in the company of three homeless people.

The following morning he had woken up stiff and hungry and followed the other rough sleepers to a Salvation Army centre where he was given a mug of tea and bacon sandwich. He had then walked to Gower Street and waited outside the hotel until the appointed time.

The receptionist had given James a suspicious look but provided him with a room number once he had mentioned Morley's name. He had gone up to the room to find not Morley but two men he did not know waiting for him. One if them said they had a message from the American whilst the second had produced a metal pipe and smashed it into James side. James fell to the floor where they rained kicks and punches down on him.

James had been able to grab a chair and fling it at the legs of one of his assailants who stumbled and fell. This gave James the chance to roll away from the other man and get to his feet. He had then grabbed a vase and flung it at him before leaping for the door, running along the hall and down the stairs.

James had heard his attackers pursuing him and hurtled through the hotel reception, out the main doors and into the street. He had then run and run until he thought his lungs would burst. He had only stopped when he was sure he was no longer being followed and collapsed behind a builder's skip in a side road.

He had then passed out and only come too after it had gotten dark. James had ached from head to foot but worse than this he had been at a loss as to what to do. Morley had appeared to lead him into a trap, his family would be being watched and he could not turn to his friends for fear of making them complicit. He suddenly felt the overwhelming urge to speak to Molly, to seek solace in those dazzling green eyes and comfort in her full red lips.

James fumbled for his phone. It was nearly out of charge but there would be enough for one more video call. He had dialled her number and she answered, her face filling the small screen.

"Molly, it's me. Just listen, the things they are saying about me, they aren't true. They are lies made up to discredit me and the service. You must believe me..." He ran put of words.

Molly looked at him and started to cry "How could you Charles? How could you..." The picture had frozen and faded to black, the battery dead along with his hopes.

James had flung the phone away and stood up. He limped away. He had walked the streets for hours, then had lain down and slept. Then it was morning and he had walked some more. He passed shops and restaurants. In one there had been a television on and there were his parents being pursued by photographers, their faces bewildered, caught in the strobing camera flashes. He walked on. It grew dark again and he found himself by the Thames...

James leant out over the river, one hand clinging to the lamp column. His fingers loosened their grip, the pull of the cleansing water like a magnet...on the edge of his hearing footsteps sounded, growing louder then slowing and stopping. Then a familiar voice spoke gently to him

"'Do not go gentle into that good night' that's what Dylan Thomas said wasn't it dear?" It was Beck looking up at him. "'Rage, Rage against the dying of the light'"

"He was talking about growing old not committing suicide" said James

"Who knows what that Welsh drunk was on about half the time, now come down from there" commanded Beck

James closed his eyes "but what's the point? I have lost everything"

"Oh don't be so melodramatic Charles. I'm the one that's supposed to be the old queen around here. Now pull yourself together will you and come with me."

"Where are we going?" Asked James chastened

"To save the day again of course. But first we need to get something warm inside you...oh dear that came out a bit wrong. Then I can explain what we think has been going on, although that will have to be for the next instalment as this chapter is long enough already"

James nodded in submission and climbed down from the wall. He and Beck then walked away into the night.


	22. Chapter 22 Revenge

Chapter 22

The late spring sunshine poured in through the large south facing windows, motes of dust dancing in the shafts of light as they lanced through the members drawing room.

In one corner of the room two figures sat in plush leather arm chairs, swirling large goblets of brandy and talking in pushed tones.

"Well Rupert old chap, looks like things are progressing well" said the minister

"Very well indeed Bertie, with your invaluable help" responded Rupert raising his glass in salute. "The SZS is effectively finished, its charismatic leader disgraced and on the run and our anti-zombie policy under review"

The minister shifted in his seat and took a sip of his drink "Yes, about Major James. Seems like it was all too much for him. I understand clothes and a note have been found on the Albert embankment. No body has been washed up yet, but I imagine it will only be a matter of time"

His guest leaned forward in his seat "Really? Well that's even better then" responded Rupert with a smile.

"I'm intrigued, Rupert. Why destroy the man's career and reputation, essentially driving him to suicide. It wasn't strictly necessary to achieve your ends. Is there something... personal in all of this for you" asked the minister.

The businessman looked into the deep golden brown of his drink "I knew James at university. There was a girl..."

"Ah, I see. Win her from you did he?" Pressed his friend.

"Stole her more like" said Rupert bitterly "in he waltzes with his hair and his eyes, his big hands and...other attributes. I knew she was taken with him..." He paused and took a mouthful of drink, grimacing as the fiery liquid went down his throat. "It was little things at first, suggestions I try a low slung belt, false tan on my forearms, wear a big chunky watch, rub dirt into my face...Then it was the brown wavy haired wig and insisting i grow stubble, twitch my lip and roll my tongue like some kind of lunatic...but the worst was to come..." Rupert took a shaking breath and closed his eyes.

"My dear chap what did she make you do?" said the minister fascinated.

"She made me wear...the body suit" the businessman forcing the words out through clenched teeth.

His friend shifted uneasily in his chair. "A what?"

"A hideous affair with face mask, prosthetic muscles and a built in...pump"

"A pump?" Queried the minister

Rupert nodded "yes a pump..."

The minister cleared his throat "So... She left you and hooked up with him"

"Yes" said Rupert "...and six months later they were married. Didn't last of course, the cad was too much in love with the army. Heard they divorced eighteen months ago..."

The minister nodded and they both sat in silence for a time sipping their drinks. Then Rupert resumed:

"So Bertie, I think we are ready to move to phase 2 of the plan"

"Phase 2? I thought we had achieved what we wanted." Said the minister with some concern

"Not yet" said Rupert "the SZS may be out of the way but no firm decision has been made on what the alternative strategy will be. We need to show that there is no option but for Britain to have its own zombie army"

"But how are you going to do that?" Said the minister

"Leave that to me" replied Rupert enigmatically.

"Well at least you can release the people you have...changed can't you. Lots of worried relatives and all that." Pressed the minister.

"Don't worry about them Bertie. They are perfectly safe and will be returned to their loved ones when I have finished with them." Replied Rupert with a chilling smile.

The minister made to speak but changed his mind, and instead summoned the steward to refill their glasses...

James opened his eyes and looked around the unfamiliar bedroom. For a moment he was at a loss to explain where he was and how he had got there but slowly the memory of recent events seeped back into his awareness.

He and Beck had walked to what his friend described as a safe house near the Oval Cricket ground in Kennington. There James had enjoyed his first proper meal in days whilst Beck had outlined what he knew of the events surrounding James' fall from grace.

"It looks like someone has executed a well thought out plan to discredit you and the SZS. Sherman isn't sure why yet, but the motive certainly isn't terrorism related. They are well resourced with access to the zombie pathogen and the ability to monitor encrypted communications."

"Which is how they knew about his emails and calls to me and were able to send that false message luring me to the hotel?" queried James

"Exactly. In doing so they caused you to abscond, essentially making you a fugitive and neutralising your ability to influence events. Very clever really." Beck had confirmed.

"Someone within government or the military do we think?" Said James

"Possibly, or with the ability to exercise influence in those quarters."

James had nodded then looked at Beck. "So how did you know where to find me?"

"Once Sherman learned that you had escaped from custody he used the intelligence resources at his disposal to look out for a clue as to where you might be." Said Beck

"But I was really careful not to leave any electronic trace" said James "I haven't used any cash or credit cards..."

"Yes, we didn't have a clue until yesterday when you made a phone call from your mobile which Sherman was able to trace. It was then a case of plugging into the CCTV network until we picked up your trail."

James had winced at the recollection of his short conversation with Molly then had forced that from his mind and asked "Why did he send you. Why didn't he come himself"

"Too dangerous. He thinks he is being followed so he asked me to bring you in and I was happy to oblige. Nobody would suspect an old tranny like me of being in any way important"

"How wrong they are" James had said with a smile.

"Bless you dear. Now we need to start thinking about what we do next. First thing is that you need to take your clothes off"

James had looked at Beck in some alarm.

"Oh for goodness sake" exclaimed his friend "my intent is pure, for once. Besides although I do like a bit of stubble and grime, there are limits, even where you are concerned. I want your clothes not you and, once you have had a good wash, I need you to write something for me"

"Write something?" James had queried.

"Yes, a suicide note..."

Back in the present James stretched tentatively, his side was still very sore and his muscles ached. He glanced over at the clock on the bedside table. It said 8pm. He had slept for nearly 24 hours but it had not been a particularly restful slumber with the image of Molly's hurt and tearful face materialising again and again in his dreamscapes.

There was a knock at the door "Charles are you awake?" Said Beck

"Yes, come in Jonathan"

Beck walked in. "Well it's about time sleepyhead. How are you feeling?"

"Much better thanks, although I still feel battered and bruised" confessed James

"It could be much worse you could be dead which, incidentally , is what the rest of the world thinks you are" said Beck and placed a copy of the Evening Standard on the bed. James read the front cover

'Absconded Officer Feared Drowned' read the headline.

James stared at the paper.

"Was there no other way?" He said

"Not really" said Beck sympathetically. "This should take the heat off you for a time and enable us to act with more freedom"

"Whilst devastating my family" said James in a quiet tone.

Beck moved closer and put a comforting hand on James' shoulder. "For a short while, but in the long run it gives us the opportunity to right some terrible wrongs"

James nodded sadly. Beck paused then said carefully "Molly will also be devastated I am sure"

James looked up at his friend with a desperate hope "do you think so?"

Beck smiled "I am sure of it"

James cleared his throat. "So what now?"

"I want you to rest up and give those injuries an opportunity to heal" said Beck. "Now how about a very late breakfast?"

Over the next few days James recuperated in the small flat. Beck called in once a day to check on him and sometimes stayed to share a meal. In between times James read or watched the television, scanning for any news of the recent attacks but nothing new was reported.

The zombies and their victims had disappeared without a trace and the authorities were clearly flummoxed. Then four days after his arrival in the flat, breaking news on the television signalled another incident, this time in Fulham. Grainy CCTV coverage told a familiar story as a group of ten or so zombies rampaged through the area before disappearing with their unfortunate victims shortly afterwards. The images seemed to confirmed that they were again a different set of attackers from the first and second incidents.

James paced the flat impatiently until Beck arrived.

"You've heard?" said Beck

"Yes. Jonathan I am going crazy in here. I need to do something. You said we have work to do and I'm ready to do it" Replied James

Beck looked appraisingly at him "Very well. I will need to make some arrangements. Be ready to leave in a couple of hours." With that Beck was gone.

True to his word Beck was back two hours later. They left the flat and walked to the Oval Underground Station. They then took the train to Bank and changed onto the District Line heading east.

James realised the route was familiar and looked at Beck curiously "where are we going?" he said

"You'll see" said Beck with a smile.

A little while later they alighted at Upton Park station and walked northwards along Green Street in the gathering dusk. At the end of a row of shops they turned down a narrow, potholed service road, picking their way past wheely bins and abandoned shopping trolleys until they reached a large warehouse building.

By the roller shutter door stood a thick set man in black. With his flat nose and cauliflower ear he reminded James of a night club bouncer. On seeing them approach the man came forward to challenge them "Yes, can I 'elp you?" He growled.

Beck walked ahead. "Good evening Harry" he said

"Oh, it's you ma'am, boss said to expect ya, go through" and with that he pressed a button on the outside wall. The roller shutter door then sprang into life, rising slowly until an opening had been created some four feet above the ground. Beck ducked under and into the brightly lit space beyond, beckoning James to follow.

James did so and the roller shutter then slowly descended behind them.

Inside all was activity with men walking backwards and forwards carrying packing cases and other equipment. From one side a voice suddenly thundered

"Section shun!"

The men dropped what they were carrying and sprang to attention. James walked further into the space and stared at the familiar figures. There was Brains and Nude Nut and Dangleberries...in fact all of two section standing stock still waiting for further orders.

James was so shocked he simply stood gawping. Even when Kinders marched up and saluted smartly reporting: "Two section mustered for your inspection sir" James only managed to point dumbly at his former unit and shake his head.

Beck leaned in towards James and whispered "it's been a little while but I think you have to say 'carry on Sargent'"

James snapped out of his trance and relayed the order. The soldiers then crowded round their officer as he pumped each hand and beamed from ear to ear. "But I don't understand" he said turning to Beck.

Kinders answered "Well you don't think we were going to leave you to crack this mystery on your own do you boss?"

"How did you all get permission..." Started James

"The lads have all been stood down pending reassignment after the SZS was suspended while I had a bit of leave owing. If we haven't sorted it by the time we are due back we'll just go AWAL" said Kinders with a smile.

James shook his head "I don't know what to say...thank you, thank you all"

James looked at each of them in turn, then around the room.

"Looking for someone?" Said Beck with a smile

"No...no not really" said James a little downcast.

"Are you massive cockwombles going to leave me to do all the work?" called a voice from behind them.

They all turned and there was Molly, hands on hips, grinning at them from the far side of the warehouse.

James met her eyes. The look which passed between them was so intense, the moment so charged that everyone seemed to hang in suspended animation waiting for the dam of pent up emotion to burst upon them.

Then from behind Molly appeared a lady in her mid sixties "for goodness sake girl, just get the snogging over with so we can all get on"

Molly smiled "whatever you say Nan" and with that she flew across the intervening space and into James' arms. He picked her up and span her around kissing her deeply and passionately.

"Oh get a room!" Said Baz Vegas and they all laughed.

James put Molly down then held both her hands in his. At a word from Beck the rest of them moved over to the far side of the warehouse and busied themselves.

James looked into those impossibly green eyes that he loved, hardly believing that she was there in front of him. Then he frowned:

"But Molly, our last conversation. I thought..."

"Yer your bloody phone went dead before I could finish...'how could you think that I could doubt you for a minute' was what I was going to say!"

James threw back his head and laughed with relief and delight. He then placed his hands either side of her lovely head and brushed away a tear of joy that had rolled down her soft cheek. He then bent down and kissed her slowly and gently.

After what seemed like a long time someone cleared their throat beside them. They both turned to find Molly's Nan regarding them with a stern look.

"Ain't you gonna introduce us Moll" she said. Molly laughed and did so.

"This is Nan's...warehouse" explained Molly cryptically.

"Oh yes?" said James "are you in the wholesale business?" He asked

"In a manner of speaking" replied Nan. "Import, export that kind of thing"

The roller shutter door then started to clank open again and Harry stepped through.

"Ere Boss" he said

Both James and Nan answered "yes?" at he same time.

"He's talking to me" she explained, then turned to Harry "What's up?"

Harry approached them "there's an idiot of a septic tank outside, dressed like a plonker and talking like that Dick Van Dyke bloke in Marry Poppins"

Beck hurried over "oh God its Sherman in his cockney disguise. Can you humour him dear, he thinks its impenetrable."

"Yes, of course" said James somewhat bewildered.

Nan gave Harry the nod who rolled his eyes and went to fetch the visitor. He then returned with Morley who was dressed like a pearly king and sporting a ridiculous false nose.

Striding into the room the American then declared "Cor luv a duck, how's yer father, me old china" in the most appalling Cockney accent James had ever had the misfortune to hear.

"Ummmm very well, thank you" said James "are you er looking for other genuine ummm cockneys just like yourself?"

Morley then whipped his hat and false nose off with a laugh and said "No James for it is I Morley!"

James did a mock double take then exclaimed "well I never! Morley you had me completely fooled" whilst Molly looked away in a vain effort to hide her giggles.

"Sorry about that James but needs must. Its important I am not seen to be associated with this operation. You understand?"

James nodded and they walked together further into the warehouse.

"I have tried to provide you with all you will need to investigate these zombie attacks. There is a plentiful supply of the solution in liquid and ammunition form together with immersion tanks and sound systems."

James looked around and nodded.

"You also have some state of the art surveillance and monitoring equipment" continued Morley as they approached a bank of monitors, keyboards and other equipment in one corner of the large space.

Brains was sat at a desk in front of the array with a headset on and scrolling through a screen full of computer code.

James noticed a sign on the desk with the words 'freezing fog' printed on it.

"What's that private?" Asked James

Brains looked up. "Its my user name or tag sir. Means I can go on to sites incognito and gather info"

"How did you come up with that?" James queried

"Freezing 'cos I'm cool and fog 'cos I'm mysterious" shrugged Brains "I wanted to call myself 'ice mist' but that was already taken"

"Oh I see" said James and they moved on.

The tour of the facility was soon complete and Morley turned to James

"Well that's it, over to you now to see if you can figure out who's behind these attacks and what they want. I will feed any intel I get from my sources through but given that this may be an internal issue within your government I cannot be seen to be doing anything overtly."

"I understand Colonel" said James, and he did. He had been given a chance to clear his name and restore the pride of his unit as well as save the country from a mysterious threat. He was determined that he would not squander that chance...


	23. Chapter 23 Zombie Bomb

Chapter 23

James drifted back into consciousness slowly, as if being dragged up from the deepest ocean trench into the half light of shallower waters. His thoughts had slowed to a glacial pace, his senses were somehow muffled and disjointed. When he opened his eyes the light from the bedroom window blinded him and raising his head from the pillow caused a searing pain as if his skull where in a vice.

James sat up and rested his head in his hands until the pain became bearable. He then tentatively swung his legs onto the floor and half opened his eyes, regarding the room through a smudged haze. He vaguely recognised his sleeping quarters in Nan's warehouse.

He then became aware of a dull ache on his upper arm and discovered a large blood stained dressing covering a wound. James prodded it tentatively then slowly rose from the bed, his head swimming and his muscles complaining. He found that he was only able to muster a slow shuffle as he sought out the bathroom which was along an adjacent corridor.

On entering the bathroom James glanced at the mirror above the sink and recoiled in horror at the face that stared back. His eyes were a pinky red colour and his nose and mouth were surrounded by a dried green crust. James called out in shock and distress but his constricted throat only allowed a muted groan to be released. He stared at the wound on his forearm and realisation dawned, sending a chill down his spine.

James lurched from the room and into the hallway his thoughts reeling. How, how could this have happened? He searched his memory of the previous evening but only found a deep, dark abyss in his mind. Shaking his head violently in an attempt to clear the fog surrounding his brain, he shuffled down the long hallway in search of two section. Surely they could help him, could administer the antidote before the carnivorous urge overtook him and he put all of them in danger.

As he neared the door at the far end of the passageway it swung open and through the opening stumbled Kinders, Brains, and Nude Nut, their eyes red, green residue caking their mouths, low groans emerging from their throats. James looked at their arms and saw with despair the same telltale dressing masking what could only be the poisonous bite of their zombie attackers.

The soldiers groaned as they approached him, arms raised and reaching. James stared dumbstruck before a scorning voice sounded from behind him

"You complete piss heads. I let you go for one boys night out together and look at the state you come back in"

James turned to see Molly standing at the door to her sleeping quarters, arms crossed and scowling. He swallowed with difficulty and croaked "Molly...help"

Molly tutted and shook her head. "Sorry, I don't treat self inflicted illness. There is aspirin in the first aid box and plenty of water in the tap" and with that she turned on her heel and walked back into her room.

James turned back to Kinders and the others and grimaced "hangover?" He croaked.

They nodded in unison then Nude Nut put his hand to his mouth and made for the bathroom with some urgency. James watched him go then remembered their wounds. He pointed at Kinders dressing and made a questioning grunt.

Kinders shrugged and tentatively peeled the dressing back from his arm. Underneath was a reddened area of skin and in the middle the image of a love heart crossed by a scroll with 'mum' written across it.

James looked at the tattoo and then at his own arm "oh bugger" he said...

An hour later two section were assembled in the small briefing room they had set up just off the main warehouse space. They all looked terrible, Nude Nut and Dangleberries had their heads resting on the table whilst Mansfield Mike had his face in his hands. Only Smurf seemed to be unaffected by the night before.

They were waiting for Molly who had popped out to the chemist to replenish the depleted first aid kit. James looked around at his men.

"What the hell were we drinking last night?" He asked

"Think we started with lager, moved onto shorts then ended up with cocktails" said Fingers

"Cocktails? Were they the green things we were knocking back at the end?" Asked Brains

"Yep" confirmed Mansfield Mike "I think we invented them on the night. Creme the menthe, vodka, lemonade and two glacé cherries floating on the top. Think we called it a zombie bomb"

"We seem to have got most of it over ourselves" observed James "And whose idea was it to go to the tattooist?"

Two section looked at each other "it was yours sir " said Kinders "I think it was after you climbed on top of that bus stop and sang the national anthem"

"Oh yes, I think I recall... Did I also try and get on the top deck of that bus through the window?" Asked James distantly

Kinders nodded.

James shook his head.

"Do you like your tattoo?" Asked Dangleberries with a smile.

James grimaced "ummm I think the tattooist must have been a bit hard of hearing" he said and thought of the image of Cupid on his arm with the words 'Morley Forever' written below. Surely we would have said Molly...

"Too bloody right he was deaf" said Baz Vegas. "I asked for an anchor and look what I got"

He then rolled his sleeve up and they all stared at the image on his arm. James cleared his throat "amazing how much...detail they can portray."

The noise of the roller shutter door opening came from the front of the warehouse and they all quickly resumed their seats while James strode to the front of the room.

"...So let's pick that up a bit later Kinders" he said as Molly walked in the room. She looked around the room suspiciously at their innocent expressions.

"Feeling better?" She asked and they all nodded with varying degrees of enthusiasm.

"Ok" said James, let's review where we are. "Kinders, can you take us through mobilisation status"

Kinders then outlined the situation with regard to the setting up of their new base, the equipment they had and the drill they had undertaken. The warehouse was proving an excellent facility with plenty of space for their equipment, living accommodation and offices. There was even a long outbuilding adjoining the main structure which they could use as a makeshift range. They had worked hard over the last week to get the building ready and were now fully operational.

"Excellent" said James "Brains, where are we on monitoring and surveillance?"

The private then outlined the progress of the civilian investigation so far. All three groups of zombie attackers had appeared, attacked passers by, taken those they infected with them from the scene and vanished shortly afterwards. The zombies were all male, between 20 and 35 and their victims had a similar profile. The first group of attackers were Charlton fans on their way to a football match at the Valley ground, the second were a large group of friends on their way to the pub on a Saturday afternoon and the third group were a set of random individuals on their way to various locations, although four were also football fans on their way to a Chelsea game.

"The football link is interesting" said James. "Anything more on that?"

"Well sir" said Brains with some animation "funny you should say that, because there is certainly a football link to the locations of the attacks. All are within a half mile of large football stadia, Valley Ground, Charlton, Craven Cottage, Fulham and Stamford Bridge, Chelsea."

"That is a bit weird" said Molly "what are the police saying"

"Coincidence" shrugged Brains "its inner London, you are likely to be within half a mile of all sorts of things"

"Still worth checking out. Let's see if we can find something to link them." said James

"Sir" said Brains

"Ok, what about the pathogen, who has the capability to produce it in the UK?" continued James

"Anyone with a half decent chemistry set and a stock of pens" said Fingers. "Could be anyone from an A level chemistry student to one of the big pharmaceutical companies"

"Ok" said James "but we know that whoever is behind this has significant resources and influence. The big drug companies are powerful and pack a lot of punch in an election year. Let's see if we can't draw up a list of those with cause to flex their muscle at the moment"

"On it" said Fingers writing some notes.

James then turned to the remainder if the section "The rest of you let's have a full deployment drill at 10.00 hours followed by an equipment check. Dismissed"

With a scraping of chairs two section rose and filed out to their duties. Molly lingered behind and caught James eye.

"You got a sore arm? I've seen you touch it a few times and wince. Want me to take a look" she said

"Oh no, no its nothing. Just a bruise really. It will be fine." Said James hurriedly.

Molly shrugged and followed the others out in to the main warehouse. James checked the coast was clear then pulled out his phone and googled 'tattoo removal specialists London'. He then made a quick note of some details on the screen and walked out into the main space.

The roller shutter door clanked open as he passed revealing Harry and a second equally thick set man standing by the rear of a black van. Harry was carrying a sports bag with a crowbar poking out of the open zip. The bag clanked loudly when Harry put it down, as if it was full of heavy metal tools.

"Morning gents, another delivery?" asked James.

"Yer, that's right" said Harry "new ummm..., shipment just come in" Then he and the other man started to unload a range of merchandise from the vehicle including clothing, electrical equipment, jewellery and boxes of strong spirits.

James watched them for a time then went over to the far side of the warehouse to observe the deployment drill.

That afternoon, Kinders took most of two section into the range for shooting practice, each soldier fixing a silencer to his weapon to prevent the shooting being heard in the wider area. James was planning to join them but Brains called over from his bank of monitors and James joined him.

"Do you have something for me private?" Asked James.

"Not sure sir" said Brains. "I've been going through the CCTV footage taken in the three areas on the days of the attacks. I've looked particularly around the football stadia to see if I can see anything unusual."

"And you have seen something out of the ordinary?" Pressed James

"Not exactly sir, but...well look"

The private tapped on the keyboard and brought up a video of the area in front of the Valley ground. A steady stream of people could be seen approaching the stadium or milling around waiting. There were also a number of fast food vans dotted around with people queuing to buy refreshments before the match.

"Notice this van here sir" said Brains pointing to a red and white transit with a stripy awning and sign saying 'Barry's Burgers'.

"Well if I switch to Stamford Bridge shortly before the last attack..." And Brains tapped away at the keyboard once more to reveal a scene outside a different stadium.

"There" he pointed to the front half of a van on the very edge of the shot. It was clearly the same van even with only part of the vehicle captured, a small section of the awning and the word 'Barry's' could be clearly made out.

"What about Craven Cottage?" Said James

"Well, the CCTV cameras outside the stadium on that day had a fault and no footage was recorded. But I was looking at a video of the diverted traffic coming off of the A304 just after the attack and I spotted this"

Brains pulled up a video of a busy road junction.

"Wait for it sir" Said he private

James stared at the flow of vehicles being directed off the main road then suddenly there was the same van again turning left to reveal the signage on its side "Barry's Burgers"

"Oh good work private. " said James still looking at the screen. "we may have a candidate for the pathogen delivery mechanism." Then suddenly he spotted something else. "Brains, rewind it again will you, I thought...yes stop there!"

Brains stopped the video, the image freezing just as a large covered truck also turned into the diversion.

James moved closer to the screen "yes, I saw a lorry very similar to that when we were searching for the zombies after the Charlton incident. Can we get good images of the number plates of both vehicles and see what we can turn up from DVLA?"

"Sir" said Brains and started to tap away urgently at the key board. James patted the man on the back and walked across the warehouse to rejoin the firing range detail.

Later the same day, James led some of two section on a PT session which included a run in the local area. On their return they met Molly's Nan, Harry and his helper getting ready to leave in the black van. They were loading various items into a hold all including a bicycle chain, hammer, rope and jump leads.

James strode over " Afternoon. Off out?"

"Yer" said Molly's Nan. "Going to an...AGM of local ummm firms."

James looked at the bag "that's an interesting assortment of knik knacks."

"Stuff for some...team building sessions" replied Nan evenly.

"Oh lovely, I do enjoy a bit of bonding" said James

"So do we" growled Harry with a grin at Nan, then "All set Boss". Nan nodded and they set off.

On entering the warehouse Brains called James over. The major left the rest of two section to warm down and joined the private.

"Sir, I've got something back on the number plates. The van is owned by a catering company 'Barry's Burgers International' and the lorry by a distribution company called 'Just In Time'.

"Any connection between the two" asked James

Brains clicked the mouse "I pulled up their details from Companies House and they are both owned by the same outfit, a conglomerate known as DDC Ltd. who own all sorts of businesses."

"Anything linked to the drugs industry?" Asked James

"No sir, sorry" said Brains "looks like it might be a dead end"

"Excuse me sir" called over Fingers from where the rest of two section were still stretching and towelling down, "but did I just hear DDC Ltd mentioned?"

"Yes why?" Asked James

"Rings a bell" said Fingers with a frown and the soldier doubled away to one of the offices. He returned a moment later with a folder of papers and, setting it down on Brain's desk, started to rifle through them. By this time the rest of two section had wondered over to see what was happening.

"Ok" said Fingers "I did some research on UK drug companies like you asked me to Boss. There are really only three big ones Glaxosmithkline, AstraZeneca and PharmaCorp. Now, they are all struggling a bit for various reasons but PharmaCorp is the worst off and has been looking to go into other businesses to spread the risk like. It's set up a few subsidiaries to do that and one of them...yes here we are, is DDC Ltd" As he said this the private held up a document with the company name highlighted.

James took the paper and studied it. "I think we may be onto something here" he said "good work lads"

Just then one of the monitors on Brains array came to life. "Incoming video call sir."

James accepted the call and Beck appeared on the screen. " Ah James there you are. Sherman asked me to get in touch. He's had another meeting with that mystery man of his, espresso or something, and he thinks that there will be another attack very soon, a big one this time. No other details though."

"Thanks for letting us know Jonathan" said James

"My pleasure dear. Now I'm off to Paris for the grand opening of my new shop there. I'll be back in a couple of days but call me if you need me. TTFN!" The screen went blank.

James frowned and bit his lip. "We can assume the next attack will be in London again, near to a football stadium. Brains how many stadia are there in the greater London area?"

"About fourteen sir including the three that have already been targeted" responded the private

"Far too many to cover at once" said James.

"Hang on" said Molly "my dad had an ice cream van once. I remember he had to ask for a licence from the council each time he wanted to turn up to an event"

"Brilliant Dawes" said James "Brains, can you see whether Barry's Burgers has been issued a licence recently?"

Brains tapped away at the key board whilst the rest of them waited, the tension building.

"Yes" exclaimed the private "Newham has issued a licence for this coming Saturday at ...Upton Park!"

James turned to Molly and smiled. "I think its time I took your dad to that football match I promised him..."


	24. Chapter 24 Match Day

Chapter 24

James stood in the makeshift briefing room at the head of the table, fists pressed down onto its surface, eyes boring into each member of two section in turn.

"Right lads, this is it, this is the operation which will decide whether our latest mission will succeed or fail. All of us will need to be 100% focussed and alert. One slip and it could all be over"

"Is that cos if Molly finds out you'll get a bollocking sir?" Asked Baz Vegas

"Exactly" said James "so no cock-ups, understand?"

"Sir" chorused two section

"Ok. I am due at the clinic at 1500 hours this afternoon. I'll make out I'm taking a number of you out on a long run. We'll leave here at 14.30 hours. That should give me enough time to get there and back before any suspicion is raised."

"What we going to do in the meantime sir?" Asked Fingers

"You'll complete the run of course Fingers." Said James with a smile.

Fingers grimaced "I suppose it will make your alibi believable sir"

"Our alibi Fingers. Remember we are in this together, right lads?" Said James

"Boss" came the less than convincing response.

At that point Molly joined them, prompting James to straighten up, clear his throat and start the briefing.

"Right, this Saturday, Operation Blowing Bubbles..." James said, then looked around the room expectantly but received just dumb stares in response "Come on! You've got to be impressed with the name"

"Very good sir" said Nude Nut dutifully.

James smiled "I have been undertaking in depth research for the operation, so that I can merge effortlessly with the rest of the supporters. My next task is to learn all the members of West Ham's scrum"

"You don't know very much about football, do you sir?" Said Molly

"Does it show?" Said James with a worried expression.

"Just little things give it away" replied Molly

"Well I still have a little time" concluded James and moved over to a map on the wall showing the area around the stadium.

"This is the space which has been licensed to Barry's Burgers" said James indicating a spot on the map. "We will set up our observation post here while the immersion team will be positioned here in the van with Nan. I will mingle with the crowd in the company of Dawes' father. Nan has agreed to position some of her employees in the crowd to help with surveillance. Is your dad fully briefed Dawes?"

"Yes Boss. He's already started his mission training" she said with a roll of her eyes. When she received some questioning looks she explained "He's found his West Ham top and is practicing his drinking and singing skills."

"Ok, good. Any questions?"

"Why can't we just go to the police with what we know sir?" Questioned Dangleberries

"What we have is all circumstantial Dangles. We need concrete evidence to link the van to the zombie attacks. This operation should give us what we need"

Fingers then raised his hand "Sir, Major Beck said the intel suggested this was going to be a bigger attack. Do we know what that means?"

"Not at this stage" replied James "It could just mean they are looking to infect more people in one go. I have, however asked Brains to see if we can dig anymore up on DDC Ltd which might give us a clue. Brains anything to report on that front?"

"Nothing on DDC sir but I have been looking at other stuff PharmaCorp have bought recently. They have been on a major shopping spree buying all sorts of businesses and land holdings, even some old MoD property. It's taking me a little while to unpick all the detail cos some of the stuff they've bought are holding companies which own lots of other businesses. Should have a full list in a few days."

"Ok, keep at it Brains" said James

"Sir, it might help if we knew what PharmaCorp where trying to get out of this" said Molly

"Very true Dawes. Morley hasn't been able to get to the bottom of it so far. Its hard to see what they have to gain by discrediting the SZS and me personally. If we aren't operational there is no demand for the antidote which we get from the Americans anyway. The only other drug involved..." James tailed off and frowned.

"What is it sir?" Asked Molly

"It's just...Brains, did you say PharmaCorp had recently bought an MoD site?" Said James

"Yes sir, an old training camp near Salisbury Plain" confirmed Brains

James rolled his tongue around his mouth then addressed Brains again "can you put in a request to Colonel Morley for the latest satellite images from the area. I want to see whether they have been using their new acquisition"

"Yes Sir" responded Brains

"Right" said James turning back to the rest of two section "full kit inspection 1100 hours then PT session after lunch. Dismissed."

Two section stood and trooped out the room. Molly, however approached James.

"Sir, could I request a couple of hours leave this afternoon. Mum feels a bit moby and needs to shoot to the doc's so has asked if I can watch the kids"

"This afternoon? Excellent!" Said James

"What sir?" Queried Molly

"Oh, sorry. Didn't mean excellent, meant ummm certainly. Take as long as you need." Said James

"Thank you Sir" said Molly, looking relieved then smiled and left the room.

That afternoon James left the warehouse with Kinders, Fingers, Nude Nut and Dangleberries for the long run they had discussed. Molly had already left for her Mum's but James insisted on continuing the ruse just in case Molly arrived back early.

The small group of soldiers ran northwards towards Forest Gate, the location of the clinic. Once they had arrived James left them to carry on towards Stratford, arranging to rejoin them an hour or so latter on their return trip.

"Good luck sir" said Kinders as they made to leave "Maybe, once we get back you can convince Baz Vegas to have his one removed"

"He's not thinking of keeping his is he?" Asked James

"Says its growing on him" replied Kinders shrugging then he jogged off with the rest of the detail.

James shook his head and watched them leave before walking up the steps to the clinic. This was going to work out just right, he thought and a certain medic would never know. He pulled open the door to the clinic with a smile and walked straight into Molly coming out.

"Molly, errrr what are you doing here!" Said James in consternation

"Oh ummmm nothing really. Here, hang on, I thought you were on a run with the lads?" Countered Molly

"Well" said James licking his lips and desperately searching for an explanation "I errr asked you first!" he spluttered unconvincingly.

They both then stared at each other and eventually Molly looked down. "I came to get a quote for this to be removed" she said and lifting up her sweater revealed at the base of her back a tattoo of a caricature of the Prince of Wales, complete with large ears and prominent nose.

James stared in disbelief "What ever possessed you to get that done?" He said

"Bloody deaf tattooist up the high street. I went in and asked for a tat saying 'Charles' and he thought I said one of Charles and did that! Didn't realise until I got home" she said miserably.

James burst into peels of laughter.

"What's so bloody funny!" Said Molly

Then James rolled up his sleeve to reveal his own tattoo and she too dissolved into hysterics. They drew curious stares from passers-by as they tried and failed to regain control of themselves. Eventually James managed to find some degree of composure and said "Come on let's see if we can get two for the price of one, and while we are at it I can tell you all about what Baz ended up with on his arm"

An hour later they left the clinic together and waited for Kinders and the others to rejoin them. The small group of soldiers came into view shortly afterwards jogging along the pavement. When Kinders saw Molly he stopped dead in surprise causing the others to cannon into the back of him and sending all four runners sprawling onto the pavement in a tangle of limbs.

Kinders managed to extract himself from the pile of bodies and hobbled up to James with a sheepish look on his face. "Have we been rumbled sir?" He asked nervously.

"Looks as if all of us have Sargent. Come on let's get back to base and I will explain on the way." Said James with a grin...

The following Saturday James arrived at Rochford Close early and sat down with Molly's dad to run through the mission.

"So we're just going to act normal and keep an eye out?" Asked Dave

"Yes, if we see anything suspicious we radio it in using this hidden mic and earpiece" said James and passed over the equipment

"And that's all?" Said Dave

"Absolutely, no heroics ok? Leave that to the professionals" confirmed James

"And ummm your wearing that to the match are you?" Said Dave eyeing James' outfit.

"Why, what's wrong with it?" Asked James

"Well I haven't seen a stripy bobble hat and scarf at Upton Park since the 70s...and as for the rosette and clacker..." Said Dave

"But my research indicated these are all traditional football fan accessories" said James defensively

"Traditional is right. I'd leave them here if I was you, otherwise there is a distinct possibility you'll get the shit kicked out of you...and me too if I'm seen with you" said Dave "You really don't know anything about football do you?"

"So people keep telling me" replied James "...and they say Cricket is complicated"

"Well it is isn't it?" Said Dave

"Oh no not really, cricket is all rather simple" replied James

"Nobody's been able to get me to understand it" admitted Dave

"Ah thats because they haven't done it properly, see you have two sides, one out in the field and one in. Each man that's in the side that's in goes out, and when he's out he comes in and the next man goes in until he's out. When they are all out, the side that's out comes in and the side that's been in goes out and tries to get those coming in, out. Sometimes you get men still in and not out. When a man goes out to go in, the men who are out try to get him out, and when he is out he goes in and the next man in goes out and goes in. There are two men called umpires who stay out all the time and they decide when the men who are in are out. When both sides have been in and all the men have been out, and both sides have been out twice after all the men have been in, including those who are not out, that is the end of the game"

Dave stared at James "Well its obvious when you put it that way. Shall we go?"

They walked the short distance to the stadium and milled around with the gathering fans. James checked in with Kinders in the observation post, located on the roof of a nearby building, and Mansfield Mike who was leading the immersion team in Nan's van, parked a little distance away.

"Is Brains still back at base?" He asked the corporal.

"Yes sir, he said he'd be here in plenty of time. Just waiting for some documents to be sent through which he said might be important" replied Mansfield Mike.

"Very well" said James and walked with Dave around the side of the stadium to check in on Harry and his men. Just then Kinders came over the earpiece "Contact burger, contact burger, approaching north 100 yards!"

"Roger that" said James and then to the rest of his people "stand by"

James and Dave then changed direction and looked northwards along Green Street. The van suddenly appeared, slowed and pulled into the stadium car park where it stopped in its allotted space. Two other catering vans where already there and busy setting up. Queues of hungry fans were forming around the vehicles waiting for them to open for business.

James spoke into the hidden mic. "Take up positions lads" then he and Dave made towards the van, stopping at a short distance where they had an unrestricted view of the scene. By this time the van's roller shutter had been raised and the awning extended. The first customers were reading the menu and smoke was starting to issue from the vehicle's small chimney.

"Harry, can your guys keep tabs on one customer each. Target only those who fit the profile, male between 20 and 35"

"Ok" replied Harry and from a distance James saw him turn to talk to his half dozen companions.

"Kinders, you might as well get down here" said James into his radio

"Sir" came the response.

"What now?" Asked Dave

"We watch and wait" said James

The burger van was now doing a roaring trade, those taking away their meals little suspecting that they were being followed closely.

"Anyone got anything yet?" radioed James

"Nothing here boss" responded Kinders

"All normal" came back Harry

James then looked over at Dave who was following two men closely as they ate their burgers. A shake of the head indicated nothing out of the ordinary.

James grimaced. Could he be wrong. Was this all a waste of time?

Then from close by came an angry voice "Oi you what you staring at?"

James looked around to see Dave being approached by one of the men he was following. "You got some sort of problem?"

"No mate no problem here" Dave said raising his hands

"What's that thing in your ear then, you the filth?" Pursued the man who then grabbed Dave's top as he tried to back away.

"Oh no" thought James and started to head over.

Dave struggled against the powerful grip and then pushed his assailant, sending both of them sprawling. Dave landed heavily on the other man who started to kick and writhe on the floor

James arrived and pulled Molly's dad up but the other man stayed down, his convulsions continuing.

James looked closely at the figure noticing for the first time the green foam flecking his mouth and noise. Suddenly Kinders was in his ear "Got one sir!"

"Me too" said Harry

"His mates going as well" reported Dave pointing at his attackers friend who was now bucking on the floor a few metres away.

James called into his mic "Corporal stand to, stand to! Multiple contacts, west side of stadium"

"Sir!" Came the response from Mansfield Mike. Seconds later the screeching of tyres could be heard and the transit van came into view, speeding down Green Street with Nan at the wheel. A hand break turn and they were in the car park, skidding to a halt next to the catering van.

The rear doors flew open and Mansfield Mike, Molly and the rest piled out, carrying assorted pieces of equipment. Nan also sprang from the drivers seat and called over to Harry "Make sure this one doesn't go anywhere" indicating the burger van driver who had started to hurriedly pack up. Within seconds the man was pinned to his counter top by two of Nan's men.

James strode over to supervise the deployment whilst the crowd, curious to see what was going on, started to crowed around.

"Sargent, I need this area cleared" James called to Kinders who started to move people back with the help of Harry and his men.

"What the bloody hell is going on here" interposed a police inspector who was marching towards them flanked by two PCs.

"That is" said James pointing to the group of shuffling, moaning zombies who where now making their way slowly towards them having completed their transition.

"Oh" said the inspector somewhat perturbed. "But you lot have been disbanded, you have no authority here"

"Very well, inspector" said James, then to his detail "right you lot let's pack up, the local force is taking over"

A look of panic passed across the police officers face. "Hang on a minute, you can't leave me to deal with this!"

"Well ok then", said James "help keep those people back while we do our job" and so saying James stripped off his top and walked towards the now inflated pool.

With one leap he was in the solution and nodding to Mansfield Mike who, at the signal, swung the microphone and began to sing:

"The moment I wake up

Before I put on my makeup

I say a little pray for you"

James had one final look around then, in one fluid movement, executed a perfect SHAAtt. In the meantime the zombies were already starting to turn and approach the immersion tank.

Nan sidled over to Molly and murmured "very nice"

Molly turned to her and smiled "I know" staring at James adoringly

"Oh yer he's ok" said Nan following Molly's gaze "but I meant him" and nodded towards Mansfield Mike with an appraising look.

By this time the first zombies were entering the pool and Dangleberries, Fingers and Nude Nut set to work restraining and immersing while the crowd started to sing along to the chorus:

"Forever and ever, you'll stay in my heart

And I will love you

Forever and ever we never will part

Oh, how I'll love you"

Soon the last of the zombies were immersed and James was preparing to exit the solution when Brains burst through the crowd brandishing several sheets of paper:

"Sir, sir, its bigger than we thought. They've bought the food companies, the main suppliers!"

James stared at Brains, comprehension dawning. He strode to the van and switched on the radio "...receiving reports of multiple attacks involving hundreds of individuals throughout the capital, seemingly focussed around major sporting arenas..."

"Oh god" said James

"You might gonna need a bigger pool" said Nan


	25. Chapter 25 Battle Honours

Chapter 25

_**OK here we go with the last chapter of season three of Our Zombie Girl. I cannot quite believe that we have made it to 25 installments and over 50,000 words. Thank you all so very much for your kind comments over the last few months, it has really inspired me to keep going. Just a reminder (as if you needed it) that these characters are the property of Tony Grounds and the BBC. I have simply manipulated them to my own fiendish and despicable ends. **_

_**This fan fiction lark is really addictive but I think i am going to take a bit of a break for now. The SZS may return, but i will need to see how the muses take me (I have more than one). I am really awed by the talent of some of the writers that are on here and may just take a bit of time exploring their stories and leaving comments (which will always be constructive ;-)) Cheerio for now!**_

"I don't understand, what's happening?" Said Molly

James frowned deeply "This is what they meant by a bigger attack. It's not just this van, it's all the burger vans which are serving food from the same producers. The pathogen is in the supply chain."

"What are we going to do sir?" Asked Kinders

The major looked at two section, Nan and her men, the police and the crowd. They were all looking back, watching, waiting, hoping for an answer. He cast around for a solution. They were so few and the zombies were so many, spreading throughout the city and increasing in numbers as they attacked more victims.

James stared at the football stadium in front of him and then noticed for the first time the outside broadcast lorry parked near the service area. He turned to Molly's dad. "Is the match being televised?"

"Oh yer, it'll be shown live on Sky and then Match of the Day tonight" he confirmed.

James passed his fingers through his hair and twitched his lip. He then rolled his tongue around his mouth several times and folded his arms, thumbs drumming a silent rhythm against his biceps.

Nan leaned over to Molly "What's he doing?"

"He's thinking, shhhh" said Molly

The major suddenly turned to Brains "Private I need you to send all the information we have on PharmaCorp over to Colonel Morley. Ask him to make sure it is passed to the appropriate authorities."

"Sir" replied Brains and doubled away.

He then turned to Kinders "Sargent, I need all the solution and every piece of sound equipment we have transported here as quickly as possible. Nan, can your people lend a hand?"

"Of course dear." She nodded to Harry who signalled to two of his men to follow him and they all climbed into the van with Kinders, Nude Nut and Dangleberries before driving off to the warehouse.

James then turned to the police inspector "Officer, I need you to arrest this man" he indicated the burger van driver who was still being held by two of Nan's men "We have reason to believe he caused the attack here today"

The inspector hesitated but then signalled to one of his men to do as James had asked. He then turned back to James "But what are we going to do about the rest of the zombies?"

James looked at him and smiled "I have an idea but I'm going to need your help"

An hour later James stood in the Bobby Moore Stand and surveyed the scene. Upton Park had been cleared of fans, the match abandoned by order of the police. Two section were now busy rigging up their sound system to the stadium PA whilst Nan's men rolled barrel after barrel of solution along the side of the pitch and into the bowels of the stadium.

At the same time teams of police officers were erecting barriers along the side of the pitch and television technicians where repositioning cameras and running cables. Suddenly a large screen at the opposite end of the ground flickered into life and a huge image of James appeared.

Brains emerged from an entrance below James and started to climb up to him, mobile phone in hand.

"Sir, Colonel Morley for you" he said and passed James the handset.

James took the phone and raised it to his ear "Hello Sir"

"James, we have checked and confirmed your intel and have made contact with the head of the military operation against the zombies" said Morley

"Military operation sir?" said James confused

"Yes, your Prime Minister has declared martial law in London to try and contain and counter the attacks" said Morley

"And are they acting on our information sir?" asked James

Morley grimaced "General Collins indicated he would look at it, nothing more."

"But we don't have time...hang on, did you say General Collins?" Said James. When Morley confirmed James groaned:

"We are totally screwed. General Collins is the one who shut us down. He is never going to believe anything we say"

Morley paused then said "Let me try and contact the relevant minister, see if we can't intervene politically."

"Thank you sir" replied James

Morley then went on "regarding a related matter, those satellite images of the ex MOD camp you requested show clear evidence of activity including the movement of equipment and the deployment and drilling of men in combat like formations. My operatives on the ground have managed to get me close range images which confirm the trainees are...infected" said Morley

"A zombie army" stated James

"Exactly. I have not been able to share this with Collins...satellite surveillance of our close allies never goes down well as you will appreciate..." Admitted Morley uncomfortably

"Indeed. I assume PharmaCorps intention is to present the government with an alternative to the SZS once these series of mock terrorist attacks have been played out?" said James

"That would seem to be the logical conclusion." agreed Morley "The identity of the zombies would need to be kept secret to avoid PharmaCorp being implicated in terrorism but, like many black op. activities, the authorities will prefer not to know anything about the individuals involved."

"That would certainly ensure no awkward questions are asked and secure them a lucrative defence contract which they badly need" said James "Presumably, once the Minister has reviewed the evidence PharmaCorp's roll in this will become clear and the rest of the plot will be revealed"

"We must hope so. Anyway, I will contact the minister and leave you to do whatever it is you are planning. What is that by the way?" Asked Morley curiously.

"Oh, just turn on the nearest television set in a few minutes and you will find out" said James with a smile

"I knew I would regret asking" said Morley and he was gone.

James threw the phone back to Brains and sat down to look at a map of London. Circles had been drawn around the locations of the ongoing attacks, based on the latest media reports. As he was doing this Molly called up from the pitch side "Boss, TV bods want to have a word"

James looked up to see that Molly had been joined by a tall man wearing a headset and a young lady carrying a case.

"Come up" called James and the three of them mounted the steps leading to the row James was sitting in.

"Major, my name is Reese, Alan Reese" said the tall man "and I'm the director of this outside broadcast. I know you have explained your intentions regarding the live piece to camera but we need to talk about style and feel if we can"

"Style and feel?" Said James confused

"Yes, what sort of image are you trying to project, is there a particular mood you want to create, do you have a target audience in mind? It will help us to come up with the right lighting and sound effects and make sure we get the costume and make-up right."

James stared at them and then said "No costume or make up. I am just going to talk as I am to camera. That's it"

The Director grimaced "Major, that's just not going to work, trust me. My understanding is that this is a public appeal. You will need to engage your audience with look and gesture as well as words. Now show me how you are going to deliver to camera"

James huffed and stood up, folding his arms. The director stood back and raised his hand to his chin "No, no that's not going to work, too stern and forbidding. Folded arms also make you look defensive. You need a more open stance."

"How about hands on hips and legs apart, that always looks good" chipped in Molly with a grin

"Yes excellent!" Said Reese "Go on then Major let's see it"

James glared at Molly but reluctantly complied

"Much better" said the director "more relaxed and honest but still authoritative"

"Right" he continued "what next? Gestures...at a critical point in your broadcast I would lean forward, maybe grab the back of the chair in front, make eye contact..."

"What like this...?" And James followed the instructions.

"Thats right!" Cried Reese "Now we need a final flourish at the end. Something that will really grab the attention"

"How about he takes his top off" said Molly "he's got lovely abs"

James looked at Molly testily "Don't you have somewhere else to be Private?"

"No, not really sir" said Molly with a mischievous smile.

"Well let's see it" said the Director and James reluctantly obliged

"Oh my god" said the man whilst he backed away squinting through a rectangle he had formed with the thumb and index fingers of each hand "that's it...we draw out and fade to black..."

James frowned at the man "you really want to get out of football coverage don't you?"

"One day I'll get the call from Downton" said Reese wistfully

"Haven't seen it" said Molly "I'm usually watching the other side"

Reese frowned then turned to the girl with the case who had been waiting patiently through the preceding dialogue "Ok Sindy, makeup and hair...let's comb out those curls a bit, give him a dusting of East End grime and highlight that stubble. Nothing says 'hello ladies' better than the straight from the battlefield look"

Ten minutes later and James was stood in front of a camera crew with Reese counting down in his ear "3...2...1...queue Major..."

James stared into the camera "This is Major Charles James, commander of the special zombie service, with a call for assistance from the public. London is under attack by individuals who have been infected by a bacteria administered against their will. This is a very serious situation but with your help we can deal with the threat in a peaceful way using tried and tested tactics.

"We need to lure those infected to Upton Park Football Stadium in East London where highly trained personnel are ready to neutralise the infection using a process which leaves the individual unharmed. We will attract their attention with a series of visual and verbal stimuli which will be broadcast through television and radio.

"We need those of you who live or work on the main approaches to the stadium..." and here James pointed to various routes on his map which had been pinned to a board "...to take your televisions and radios outside into your front gardens or forecourts right now and leave them playing at full volume. This should be enough to lead those infected to us."

James leant forward grasping the back of a chair "Do not, I repeat, do not remain outside with your appliances. Return inside as soon as you have set them up and stay there until we can confirm that the danger had passed" he then pulled his top off and stared at the screen "thank you for your cooperation."

James nodded at Mansfield Mike and the camera cut to the corporal, who stood in front of the big screen which displayed a huge image of a bare chested James, and began to sing:

"Where have all the good men gone

And where are all the gods?

Where's the street-wise Hercules

To fight the rising odds?"

"Perfect!" shouted Reese in James' ear "if we don't get a BAFTA nomination for that I'll eat my hat"

James pulled his top back on and strode over to Kinders, Nan, Molly and the police inspector who were standing near the crash barriers on the edge of the pitch listening to Mansfield Mike sing:

"I need a hero

I'm holding out for a hero 'til the end of the night"

"Everything ready?" asked James

Kinders responded "Yes Sir. All we need now is for our guests to arrive"

"Very good" said James

Brains then came doubling over with the mobile phone in his hand. "Bossman, Colonel Morley again."

James took the handset

"Jesus Christ James that certainly grabbed the attention" said Morley "I've got most of the women in the office and half the men carrying TV sets out into the street."

"I just hope it works" said James

"So do I, cos I am drawing a blank here. The minister is refusing to see me..." Said Morley

"What?, but that makes no sense" said James

"It does once you know that PharmaCorp's main UK plant is in the man's constituency" replied Morley

"You think he has been compromised?" Asked James concerned

"There is every chance, which means we are going to have to bypass him and go to the top. The Ambassador has put a call in direct to Downing Street. We are waiting for the Prime Minister to become available. Until then James, PharmaCorp will do everything in their power to try and stop you succeeding in your endeavours. Stay alert" cautioned Morley

"I will" said James and ended the call.

James passed the phone back to Brains who was sat on a front row seat with his laptop open.

"What's the latest?" He asked the private

"Looks like we are getting a good response to our appeal sir. We have activity along most of the main routes including the A124, the A13, the A2 and the A501. Our broadcast is being picked up by all the main TV and Radio stations and is being streamed on the web. We also have reports of groups of zombies being drawn along the main approaches and away from the original attack areas"

"Excellent" said James

The Major then made a tour of the stadium checking all was ready. Four immersion tanks had been deployed near to the main service entrance to the pitch. Fingers and Nude Nut were there overseeing a mixed group of Nan's men and police officers who would deal with the first zombies to arrive. James noticed Dave among them and nodded at him in acknowledgement.

"All ok here private?" He asked Fingers

"Yes sir, they have only had a crash course but they are keen. We should be fine " said the private.

"Very good. Just remember when the flow gets too great retreat behind the crash barrier" James reminded him and moved on.

James then walked over to where Molly was organising the post immersion care with the help of some St Johns Ambulance volunteers who had remained after the match had been abandoned.

Mansfield Mike sang on by the big screen, fist clenched, eyes screwed shut in deep emotion:

"I've paid my dues

Time after time.

I've done my sentence

But committed no crime."

"How are we doing Dawes?" he asked

"Not bad considering Boss" she said "You ok?"

James nodded "Think so...Molly" he began "keep safe Ok? And whatever happens here today I just want you to know..."

There was a sudden commotion by the immersion pools which made him break off and stare in that direction

"Are they here?" Said Molly

"Not sure..." replied James and headed off to take a look

As he approached a commanding voice called out "That's him, place him under arrest lieutenant!"

General Collins strode onto the pitch followed by a smirking Lieutenant Ash and a group of Military Police, weapons drawn.

Ash doubled over to James with two MPs who grabbed an arm each while Ash smiled and said "Not dead then sir? In which case I'm afraid you will have to come with us"

James noticed Kinders running to intervene but he shook his head at the Sargent who stopped in his tracks. There was no point in prompting a confrontation, it was too dangerous and they had too many other things to contend with without fighting amongst themselves. They would just have to wait for an opportunity to put their case and hope that it would not then be too late to deal with the zombies.

Just then the thudding of helicopter blades was heard above the sound of Mansfield's singing. The aircraft appeared from behind the Bobby Moore stand and descended to land in the middle of the pitch.

All eyes turned to the lone figure at the controls who shut the engine off and removed his helmet revealing a head of red hair. The man jogged over to where James stood and resolved into the unmistakable figure of Prince Harry, wearing combats with the SZS insignia on his arm together with the rank of Colonel in chief of the service.

"Ah James" said the prince with a smile "I have a bone to pick with you. What's all this about initiating a major zombie operation and not inviting me along. You know how much I like a good immersion jolly"

James grinned "Sorry your highness, didn't really have a chance"

The prince smiled and then said "Who are your friends?"

James grimaced "I am afraid these gentlemen have placed me under arrest sir"

"Really?" Said the Prince "I assume there has been some kind of mistake Lieutenant?" this to Ash who stared at the new arrival in consternation and then opened and closed his mouth a number of times before emitting a high pitched "Errrr"

General Collins then stormed over to the group demanding to know what the hell was going on. He stopped dead when he saw Prince Harry but then mastered his shock and said tightly "Your highness your presence here is inappropriate...this unit is disbanded and their operation is illegal"

"Disbanded, General?" Said the Prince in surprise "As Colonel in Chief surely my permission should have been sought?"

The General gawped "That's just a bit of meaningless protocol sir. You would have been approached in due course"

"I'm afraid the Commander in Chief of the armed forces is a bit of a stickler for protocol General. She also takes the various roles of her family members very seriously. In that context she has summoned you to the palace" and with that the Prince passed the general a sealed envelope with the royal crest on it.

Collins looked at the envelope as he would a venomous snake then snatched it away and tore it open before quickly scanning the content. He looked up and snapped "Lieutenant hold Major James here until I return"

"That won't be necessary General" said the prince. "I will ensure he does not leave the stadium. Sargent Kinders please place the major under arrest"

Kinders doubled over and stood beside James. General Collins narrowed his eyes but then nodded and said "Come along Lieutenant" before stalking off with his men.

Prince Harry watched them leave then turned to Kinders "Release the prisoner Sargent"

Kinders smiled "yes sir"

James turned to the Prince "Thank you sir but you really shouldn't be here. I am a disgraced officer and I'm not sure what we are planning is going to work"

The prince looked at James "My place is with my unit, and as for that video, you are talking to a man who has appeared in the worlds press stark naked. I am not interested in your alleged mistakes Major but how you act when your country really needs you. Now how do I get to do some singing?"

James nodded and said "Tell Private Dangleberries what you want to sing. Mansfield is probably due a break anyway"

The prince strode away and James followed him with his eyes then shook his head in disbelief.

"Sir" called Brains "first lot of zombies approaching!"

"Ok private. Places everyone" he called and went to join the immersion teams. As he did so Mansfield Mike came to the end of his song and Prince Harry took over in front of the big screen. The music started and he launched into his piece:

"God save the queen

The fascist regime

They made you a moron

Potential H-bomb"

James stared down into the dark of the service entrance. After a while a faint shuffling and groaning could be heard, followed shortly by the leading zombies, eyes blazing, clawed hands reaching.

"Stand by" called James to his rag tag unit and then the zombies were among them. James grappled with one, pushing the zombie into an immersion tank and under the surface. James held the zombie down until the thrashing stopped and he could pass the recovering man over into the care of Molly's team.

James then grabbed another and another, only pausing when there were no more zombies at hand. He looked around him and saw the rest of the team engaged in finishing off the last of the infected attackers before Fingers called "more incoming!" and they had to fall to it again.

Over the next hour wave after wave of zombies emerged from the service tunnel and James and his team worked without break until there was an eventual lull. He and the others then collapsed where they stood, exhausted, while Nan and Molly passed around water bottles.

Brains then came running over. "Sir, Colonel Morley on the blower" and passed over the handset.

"James" said Morley "The ambassador has finally been able to get through to the prime minister and present the evidence. The PM has ordered the immediate suspension of the relevant Minister and passed our files to the anti-terrorist Police for investigation. PharmaCorps HQ is being raided as we speak whilst their military base has been sealed off pending decontamination."

"That's great news Sir" said James with huge relief

"How are things going there?" Asked the American

"We have had a few hundred come through so far but the bulk are still on route" said James

"Well" said Morley "help is on the way...Jonathan has called to say he is a few minutes from you...something about not missing this opportunity for the world. Make sure he doesn't get himself killed will you James?"

"Of course sir" said James with a grin and signed off.

Almost immediately Brains called over "Sir, we've got thousands of them coming up the Barking Road from the west"

James nodded and ordered the pitch to be cleared and all personnel to retreat behind the crash barriers. Just as the last person leapt over the makeshift fencing a running figure emerged from the service tunnel dressed in a long coat and clutching a pair of high heels in their hand.

James smiled as the figure approached. "Welcome Jonathan, we've been expecting you"

Beck put his hands on his knees and breathed deeply "Goodness I'm out of shape. Had to put a turn of speed on to avoid the zombie hoards. Anyway wasn't going to miss out on a stadium gig in front of a national television audience"

"Well" said James "you're just in time cos I think Prince Harry needs a bit of a break. Duetting 'I've Got You Babe' with Mansfield Mike has just about done him in"

Beck grinned "I think that would spell the end for most of us" He then frowned, grabbing something under his coat and hitch it further up his hips.

James stared in confusion "Everything ok?"

"You should try running with the costume I've got on. Gusset issues are not the half of it!" and so saying he removed his coat to reveal a black body stocking with glove like patched of fabric at the breasts and midriff.

James stared "goodness that is...striking"

"Do you like it?" Said Beck proudly. "It's from my latest range. If you press this button the gloves flex, but I seem to have a short somewhere in the wiring" Then with a wave Beck tripped off to mount the stage.

James shook his head then turned at a shouted warning to see the mouth of the service tunnel filled with hundreds of shuffling, groaning zombies. Wave upon wave of them came shambling onto the pitch in an ungainly viscous tide groping towards the noise and spectacle around the large screen at the far end of the stadium.

The crash barriers at the sides of the pitch were used to channel the groaning horde towards the screen where a double line of barriers, police, soldiers and Nan's employees sought to corral and contain the infected host.

Beck strode around the stage filling the four corners of the stadium with song:

"Humidity is rising

Barometer's getting low

According to our sources

The street's the place to go"

The zombies continued to crowd in, slowly filling the pitch until the green of the grass was completely obscured by the monstrous throng.

"Its raining men, hallelujah

Its raining men, amen"

The front rows of the zombies were starting to press against the crash barriers, hands raised towards the stage, clawing the air. The small number of soldiers, police and others on the opposite side of the fence strained every sinew to hold the line.

Kinders shouted to James through gritted teeth "We can't hold them much longer sir"

James turned and shouted up to Brains "how many more?"

"Just a few stragglers sir and we will have them all" came the response

James lent his own weight to the barriers, ducking to avoid the grasping hands but the fence was shifting, the thin line buckling.

"Brains!"

"Hold on!"

"Brains!"

"All in sir, all in!"

James turned and gave the signal to Nan, at the same time bellowing "turn it on, turn it on!". She pressed a button on the wall beside her and a second later the ground's sprinkler system lept into life, sending jets of the antidote into the air all around the ground. Within minutes thousands of gallons of solution had been pumped onto the crowded pitch and the zombies were falling in droves, thrashing around on the muddy ground like a huge haul of landed fish.

James surveyed the scene from the side lines where Molly joined him. He turned and smiled at her and she returned it before sliding her arm around his waste and resting her head on his shoulder.

"We did it" she said

"Only just...but yes we did" he replied.

"Better start the post immersion care boss" she stated and made to move away

James caught her hand as it passed his and looked down intensely into her upturned face.

"Marry me..." he whispered

"Yes." She replied...

A month later Major Charles James brought the first company of the Special Zombie Service to attention. Horseguards looked resplendent in the spring sunshine and the assembled dignitaries had to shade their eyes as they looked on from the nearby stand. Among them were Molly's and James' families proudly waving union jacks.

The weeks since the Upton Park operation had been a blur of activity. The clean up after the attack had taken days with hundreds of ambulances ferrying the recovering victims to hospitals throughout the South East. Then had come the decontamination at the ex military base on Salisbury Plain, followed by multiple debriefings and interviews to say nothing of the intense media interest.

Details of the plot by PharmaCorp had become public soon after the raid on their headquarters and the questioning of a number of company officials. This was followed by the revelation of complicity by a senior minister and a small number of high ranking army officers, leading to a round of suspensions and arrests. The final piece of the jigsaw came with the capture of what the media described as the mastermind behind the plot, when he was on the point of boarding a jet for Moscow with a briefcase full of zombie pathogen.

James vaguely recognised the wild eyed and dishevelled man in the police mug shots but couldn't quite place him. A full confession followed including the detail of how the plot had set out to discredit the SZS and James himself through a smear campaign in the press and on the internet.

Interest in the service and James himself had been at fever pitch ever since. Toy producers were even creating a series of action figures, including a fully posable Major James doll complete with headset, removable shirt and paddling pool. Molly had nearly ruptured herself laughing when the design team had called around to make detailed measurements for the modellers.

With everything that had been going on he and Molly had had little time to discuss the wedding. However, two weeks of leave beckoned for both of them and there would be time enough then.

However, now James had to focus as the monarch's escort approached bearing the new service colours. A red zombie head pierced by a blade with the legend 'Attract, Immerse, Revive' on a scroll across the bottom, and below that their battle honours 'Afghanistan' and 'West Ham'

The End


	26. Chapter 26 Marfa

_**Hello everyone. So the SZS are back and this time they are set for a wild west adventure. I embark on this next instalment with some trepidation because since my last offering I have been reading the work of my fellow fanfic authors and am blown away by the talent out there. I am really honoured to be among you and would be happy if the below offering is considered even half as good as the story's you are producing.**_

_**As always this is to remind you that I have basically drugged and kidnapped these characters from Tony Grounds and the BBC and will only release them once I have had my wicked way.**_

_**Your comments and feedback mean a great deal to me so please let me know what you think!**_

The radar scopes cast an eerie green glow in the small room, each circular screen displaying a rotating arm of light which constantly renewed a strange landscape of amorphous smudges and dancing dots. Senior Airman Aaron Leibowitz leaned forward in his swivel chair and scanned the displays with a critical eye. He then leant back and let his gaze wander from the central screen to the high heeled shoe located on the desktop just to the right of the radar vector. His eyes travelled from the shoe to the shapely ankle and calf above it, then upwards to the knee and connecting thigh which ended in a very satisfactory hip. This hip was crossed by a delicate silver chain which then traversed a taught lower stomach, just under a belly button adorned with a glittering ruby stud, before disappearing around the edge of the opposite, equally adequate hip.

The airman's visual inspection continued down the other leg and ended at the corresponding shoe on the opposite side of the radar scope.

"You ready Mary Lou?" He asked, an edge of excitement in his tone.

"Depends, have you deployed your landin' gear correctly airman?" Said the woman, who flexed her knees in anticipation.

"Oh, hold on" he said unbuckling his uniform trousers and pulling them and his boxer shorts down his legs and around his ankles.

"Come on honey, you know I can't stand heights" pressed Mary Lou impatiently.

Leibowitz sat back again and started to adjust the seat height and tilt of the backrest

"Jesus Aaron" said the woman, "what ya doin' now?"

"Just makin' sure I'm at the right pitch and angle. You know what happened last time, we got the telemetry a smidge wrong and I ended up in sick bay for a week and in a truss for three months...OK I'm ready...don't forget the call"

"God damn it I know what I'm doin'" and so saying the woman crouched briefly and then sprang with a shout of "Geronimo!"

Moments later she landed, legs splayed and with a sickening thud in the lap of the waiting airman who let out a howl of pain. The impetuous from the leap also sent the chair careering backwards on its casters and into the rear wall of the small room where it came to sudden stop, dislodging a shelf full of operating manuals which cascaded over both occupants of the chair. As the last sheets fluttered down, a loud pop issued from the chair, followed by a hissing sound which accompanied the slow descent of the seat towards the floor.

"Sounds like your pistons broke again" said Mary Lou

"Sure does" replied the airman in a feeble tone "Still" he continued "well worth it for a Q.S.C.F"

"Q.S.C.F?" Queried Mary Lou

Leibowitz grinned "A quality swivel chair fu..."

Just then an alarm sounded over by the work station. The airman stopped dead and scrambled to his feet before advancing towards the central radar scope at speed, getting his feet tangled in his trousers and boxers, which were still draped around his ankles, and falling flat on his face. Cursing Leibowitz crawled the rest of the distance and knelt by the work station whilst peering at the screen.

"Oh shit" he muttered whilst picking up a telephone handset and punching in a number. "Sir, this is senior airman Leibowitz in Pheonix sector. I have a bogey on the scope coming in low and at speed from the north west...No sir, no scheduled civil or military flights...hang on..." The airman tapped at a keyboard "Sir, its dropped of the scope...southern Rockys, 200 miles east of Fort Stockton...Yes sir." The airman replaced the handset and turned to Mary Lou.

"What the heck was that all about?" She asked

"We got a UFO come down somewhere in the desert of western Texas" he replied...

Just outside the small town of Marfa, west Texas, Zeb and Zac sat on the bonnet of a rusty pick up truck. They both had hunting rifles between their legs and sipped from beer cans whilst staring into the twilit desert landscape.

"Last darn pig would a bit me if I hadn't got that slug between his eyes" commented Zeb contemplatively.

Zac looked over at his friend "Do pigs even have any teeth?"

"Sure they do" replied Zeb "two big ones at the front"

"What like bugs bunny?"

"No not like fuckin' bugs bunny, like a big feral pig" said Zeb

"More like a Guinea pig..." Mumbled Zac

"What's that you say?" Asked Zeb suspiciously

"Nothin'" said Zac innocently before finishing his beer, crumpling the can and throwing it over his shoulder and into the back of the pick up. "C'mon Buffalo Bill lets see if we can't bag us some more big game".

As Zac slid off the bonnet he heard a sound like a low flying plane which grew louder and louder. He turned questioningly to Zeb "Sounds low...too late for Huck to be crop sprayin' ain't it?"

Zeb shrugged before looking up himself as the sound of the plane grew to a roar "Sounds too big for...oh shit!" He shouted and pulled Zac down to the ground as a small passenger jet passed less than fifty feet above their heads and headed into the desert night. When the two looked up again the plane had disappeared into the darkness but seconds later a distant rumbling and crashing left both men in no doubt as to the fate of the plane.

"Jesus Christ" exclaimed Zac as they dashed to the pick up truck and clambered inside. Zeb gunned the engine and then drove them at speed in the direction the plane had been heading.

The truck bounced across the trackless desert, its headlights briefly illuminating clumps of scrub and small boulders as it passed by. After a while Zac gestured at a point of flickering light in the distance "Over there".

As the truck got closer the light resolved into a burning engine and just beyond lay the dark mass of the main fuselage. Zeb stopped the truck and killed the engine. Both men then slowly climbed out the vehicle and scanned the scene.

Other small fires had started in the dry scrub surrounding the stricken plane casting a weak, wavering light in their immediate area and partly illuminating numerous pieces of scattered debris which littered the desert floor. One of these dark shapes shifted slowly and rose unsteadily, followed by another and then another. Zac walked towards the figures slowly "Y'all OK?" he asked uncertainly but to no response. He continued to approach them, straining to make out their features in the darkness but then stopped dead.

"What is it...what's the matter?" Called Zeb who still lingered by the truck.

Zacs shaking voice reached him from the edge of the wreckage "Oh god...Zeb get your gun, get your gun!"

Zeb grabbed his rifle from behind the drivers seat and jogged towards his friend who was backing away from the group of shuffling figures who where emerging from the crash site. As Zeb drew nearer one of the dark figures reached the burning engine and the flames illuminated its features for the first time. Zeb gasped as he took in the glowing read eyes and dripping mucus. In horror and panic he raised his rifle and let off a volley of shots, their sharp reports sounding across the dark expanse of the desert night...

Major Charles James stood on the balcony of his hotel suite and stared across the sparkling blue bay towards the Golden Gate Bridge. It was a perfect scene on a perfect day, one week into a perfect honeymoon with the girl of his dreams who was now his wife. James savoured the words as they echoed through his mind...Molly was now his wife...Molly James...he smiled to himself, then giggled, then threw his head back and laughed for the pure joy of it.

From the bedroom behind Molly called through "You're not laughing to yourself again are you, you nut job? I can have you put away you know, then I get to keep all your money"

James grinned "Ah yes lance corporal but what about all the great sex you would miss out on?"

Molly walked out onto the balcony in a flowing silk robe and smiled "Swings and roundabouts" she said and planted a fleeting kiss on her husbands cheek before moving over to the balcony railing and taking in the view. "No one at home would believe me but this is proper nice"

"What?" Said James

"Here. I've never seen anywhere so beautiful." Replied Molly

"Hang on" said James "I distinctly remember you saying something very similar about Afghanistan at one point"

Molly grimaced "Yer but here they got Wi-Fi and a Starbucks round the corner"

"Fair enough" smiled James

"Mind you, at least in Afghan we didn't have the majorettes" put in Molly

James' smile faded. Since Upton Park, James had acquired a large and active female fan base. They had been dubbed 'the majorettes' by the press and although largely an intelligent, sophisticated and erudite bunch, they were sometimes prone to a degree of silliness. On hearing that James was to honeymoon in San Francisco they had switched their inaugioural AGM from Bath to the city by the bay. Groups of them could now be found patrolling the down town area in their low slung combat trousers and mock head sets, acknowledging their fellow fans by making stag horns with their hands, and hoping to catch a glimpse of the famous major and his new bride. As a result the couple had needed to take some precautions in order not to be cornered and mobbed.

Molly had been very understanding but James had started to detect a certain strain in her forbearance. He had, therefore, resolved to organise a treat for her that afternoon. The previous day James had left Molly to nap following a particularly athletic session of 'how's ya father' as she endearingly termed it. He had made his way to the Union Square district of the city where the latest branch of Johnathan's had recently opened.

The owner of this hugely successful chain of lingerie shops, Johnathan Beck, was James' former CO and now a close friend. Everyone was raving about the new gentleman's range which he had just launched and James thought he would see what all the fuss was about. He had been served by an assistant called Frank who had recognised him immediately and insisted on showing him into a private fitting room reassuring James that "Johnathan has left strict instructions should you call in". James had then endured an excruciating half an hour as a procession of male models had paraded around the small room wearing the full range of men's underwear.

Each item had been inspired by a historic figure and included the Henry VIII, which incorporated a huge codpiece, the Lord Nelson, which was little more than an eye patch, and the Prince Albert which James couldn't even bring himself to look at. He finally plumped for the Antoine of Navarre which incorporated a leather brief fringed with fur and a short fur trimmed bocade jacket worn over one shoulder like a cloak and which Frank insisted on calling a pelisse.

These purchases were now at the bottom of James' wardrobe waiting to be donned as part of Molly's surprise which also included strawberries and champagne, shortly to be delivered to their suite by room service.

James surreptitiously checked his watch and casually told Molly that he was going to have a shower before walking quickly into the bedroom, grabbing the shopping bag from his wardrobe and disappearing into the bathroom. As he did so there was a knock at the door to their suite. " Right on time" thought James and called out to Molly to see who it was. James then quickly stripped off and struggled into the tight fitting briefs before clipping the pelisse around his neck and arranging it just so on his left shoulder.

"Charles" called Molly excitedly from the next room

"Coming!" He said with a smile. One final check in the mirror and he strode through the bathroom door and into the room beyond exclaiming "For I am Antoine of Navarre and I command that we quaff champagne before reparing to the bed chamber where I shall ravish you...oh shit!"

Charles stopped in mid declamation when the realisation hit him that Molly was not alone. In fact there where several extra people in the room he had not anticipated. One of the faces that was turned towards him with an expression of bemusement was Colonel Sherman Morley's, US military attaché to the Court of St. James and one of his best friends.

"Colonel" said James formally.

Morley cleared his throat uncomfortably "James. Can I introduce Howard Robinson the US Secretary of Homeland Security, General Crawford of the US Air Force, Robert Fraser the British Consul and Captain Dwight of the US Marine Corps"

James swallowed and shifted uncomfortably, causing his leather briefs to creak loudly.

"Excellent" he said "Could you just excuse me for a moment...Molly perhaps you could offer our guests some drinks?" A knock at the door then signalled the arrival of room service ..."and maybe some strawberries" he added before quickly walking from the room.

James emerging a few minutes later dressed in jeans and a shirt. Molly was passing around coffee and looked up at him with raised eyebrows. James shrugged and walked over to Morley taking his hand in greeting.

"Sorry about this James, but we have a bit of a situation. General Crawford, perhaps you could start"

The General put his coffee down and looked at Charles. "Major, on Thursday last at 1900 hours Pacific Standard Time our radar monitoring station at Pheonix, Arizona picked up an unidentified aircraft travelling low and at speed in a south easterly direction. We tracked it for a few minutes before it disappeared from our scope in the far south of the rocky mountains range and in the middle of the western Texas desert. Shortly after, local law enforcement in the town of Marfa, Texas received several calls reporting a very low flying aircraft heading out into the desert to the east of the town. When officers investigated, they found the wreckage of an aircraft some 3 miles out of town together with two locals in a parked pick up truck in a state of shock, jibbering uncontrollably about...zombies"

James, who had been sipping his own coffee as he listened to the General clattered his cup noisily into his saucer and looked over at Molly, who had turned to him at the same moment.

"Have we confirmation?" James asked the General but Secretary Robinson answered:

"There was one fatality in the crash, the pilot" and with that the man took out a photograph and passed it to James. It was of a body on a mortuary slab, turned on its side and with the back of its neck exposed. The telltale dark mass of tissue with radiating neural network could clearly be made out. James passed the photo to Molly who took it and started to examine it closely.

"If it was flying the plane it must have been high functioning...a Mark 2" he said and turned to Molly, who nodded in confirmation. "Did the survivors attack these two witnesses?" James went on.

"Both men said they approached them aggressively but that they scattered once they were shot at." Confirmed the General. " Since then we have had some reports of missing cattle and broken fencing but nothing significant. Looks like they have gone to ground. Meanwhile the witnesses have been hospitalised...to ensure we can keep a lid on this"

"How many zombies are we talking about" Asked Molly.

"From evidence on the plane we think between 10 and 12" replied Morley

"And their origin?" Put in James

"Unknown" said the General "There were no markings on the plane and no documents inside. Black box was removed before departure and all engine serial numbers removed. Whoever sent them wants to remain anonymous at this stage"

"What about the dead pilot?" Pressed James

"Of oriental origin, DNA testing is awaited but that won't necessarily tell us who organised this" Morley replied.

"Well" said James "I am sure Lieutenant Samuels will be able to assist..."

"Samuels and one section have been deployed to Syria on a mission James" said Fraser, who now spoke for the first time "The Prime Minister has asked you to take command of this operation."

James grimaced and looked at Molly who continued to stare at the photo of the dead pilot.

Morley shifted uncomfortably in his seat " I know this is terrible timing James but you know what sort of damage twelve Mark 2s could do in a very short time"

James did not take his eyes off of his wife, waiting for some sign of what was going on in her mind. Molly finally turned to James and stared intensely into his eyes before saying "We go where we are needed, sir. There will be time enough to finish our honeymoon once this threat has been dealt with."

James' heart swelled until he thought it would burst. He did not deserve such a wonderful woman.

"Thank you both" said Secretary Howard simply

Fraser then cleared his throat "Three section of the SZS are currently preping for departure and should be in theatre in 48 hours. The cover story on the ground will be that you are undertaking a joint training operation with a detachment of US Marines under Captain Dwight here"

Dwight lept to his feet and stood smartly to attention "Honour to serve with you sir"

"Nice to meet you too Captain Dwight" replied James

"Sir, yes Sir" replied Dwight

"And your first name captain?" Asked James

"Dwight sir" replied Dwight stifly

"No your first name Dwight" pursued James confused

"Sir, that is my first name sir...Captain Dwight D Dwight" said Dwight

James swallowed "And the D stands for.."

"Dwight, sir"

"Of course..." Said James who then turned to Morley with raised eyebrows

Morley gestured for James to follow him onto the balcony. When they were outside Morley looked at his friend and blew out " Listen James, from what I have seen of this case so far you are going to have to deal with a whole host of poorly realised American stereotypes drawn from a range of popular cultural references. You are just going to have to dig in and do what you are bloody good at. OK?"

James looked at his friend and nodded then added "Do you know what Jonathan's returns policy is?"

At the same time in a suburb of Los Angeles, a convenience store owner served one of his customers then turned to a small TV behind the counter. Suddenly a telephone beside the set began to ring. The shopkeeper picked up the phone and listened intently before replacing the handset, walking around the counter to the front door and locking it. He then turned the closed sign around so it faced outwards and walked into the small storeroom at the back of the shop where he took down a case from a high shelf. He snapped the catches and opened the case revealing a collection of firearms and combat knives nestling in custom made spaces cut into the sponge packing. Closing the case once more he carried it out into the shop and passed his wife, who asked where he was going.

"Marfa, Texas" he replied.


	27. Chapter 27 Mayor Hambleton

_**OK, I have made a resolution to be a bit more chatty with you all during this season. One of the easier things about writing a zomromcom is that you don't have to worry too much about military accuracy, given that you are already asking your reader to suspend belief to an enormous extent. Having said that I do try to inject some credibility into the story every now and again. **_

_**On that basis all of the places mentioned in this chapter are real and roughly where I say they are. Marfa is a beautiful desert town used many times as a film location. Its chamber of commerce web site is informative, well presented and justly poud of the town, its past, present and future. I understand from the story stats on this site that I may have as many as four US readers. On that basis, if by some incredible coincidence one or more of you is a resident or native of this town, or has any other reason for holding the place dear in some way, can I make clear that the characters and events portrayed in this bit of nonsense are just a figment of my deranged imagination and should be treated as such.**_

_**Thank you all so much for your incredibly kind comments on the last chapter. I hope you like this next one and as always welcome your feedback. Now settle back into the SHAAtt position and happy reading.**_

Sheriff Wyatt hitched up his gun belt, straightened his Stetson and walked towards the small group of figures on the far side if the pasture, his spurs clinking at each step. As he got closer it became clear that they were clustered around an object which formed a dark mass on the floor of the rough pasture. Among the group was Nate Williams, the rancher whose land he was crossing and whose voice drifted towards him on the light breeze.

"...third this week. I ain't seen nothin' like it"

The rancher then caught sight of the sheriff and turned towards him. Nodding his head in greeting. "Mornin' Jed. Thanks for comin' out" he said.

"No problem Nate, what we got here?" Replied the Sheriff.

"Another of ma best head of cattle torn limb from limb is what we got. Just like the others. We ain't touched nothin' like you asked"

The sheriff stopped next to the farmer and surveyed the scene. It was indeed like the others he had seen. The cow had been eviscerated, its belly ripped open and its innards spilled onto the dusty desert floor. There were also deep gouges along its neck and haunches which looked very much like bites from a wild animal.

"Whatever it is that's doin' this is a big critter and needs to be hunted down and shot" said one of the other men, a wrangler on the ranch.

"Hard to hunt an animal that leaves no tracks" pointed out the Sheriff. _Although there have been plenty of human ones_ he thought to himself.

The men were silent for a time then the sheriff cleared his throat and said "I'll send a couple of deputies out with a truck to pick the body up"

Nate looked at the Sheriff "Why you keep takin' the bodies away Jed. You ain't got an arrangement with Jolene's Diner have you?"

Sheriff Wyatt laughed humourlessly "Na, need it for evidence and such..."

"You doin' one of them there autopsies on 'em?" Asked the wrangler

"That kinda thing, yep" he replied.

Wyatt then nodded and strode back across the pasture to his car, an expression of deep concern on his face. Something strange was going on and he didn't like it. It had started with that plane coming down with those dangerous chemicals on board. The crash had contaminated a large area of the desert, put Zeb and Zac in hospital and led to the army sealing off a large area around the wreckage. Now they had these attacks on cattle. The military were saying very little but telling him and his officers to do all kinds of strange things like quarantining dead animals and reporting anyone behaving strangely, all of which was to be kept top secret. To cap it all there was the military training exercise involving this famous limey zombie team. Wyatt didn't like being kept in the dark and resolved then and there to find out what was going on in his town, one way or another...

The temporary camp was taking shape slowly. Scores of Marines were unloading trucks and setting up tents of various sizes while fork lifts where carrying pallets and containers in all directions. James was supervising the setting up of the main operations centre with the help of Mansfield Mike, Brains and Smurf. The rest of three section were constructing their dormitory tent, under Dangleberries supervision, whilst Molly had joined the contingent of Marine medics in organising the small field hospital.

James was well satisfied with their progress following a very hectic 48 hours despite being without Kinders, Fingers or Nude Nut who were all in Syria with Lieutenant Samuels . After flying in to Holloman Air Force base in New Mexico, James and Molly had rendezvoused with three section and the Marine contingent at Fort Bliss, just across the state line in El Paso, Texas before travelling to the small town if Marfa by road. James had been relieved to find his men and their equipment all present and correct after such a rushed deployment. Mansfield Mike had assured him that all had gone smoothly.

"Actually sir, it was a relief to be able to get away to be honest" the Corporal had confided to James

"How so?" enquired James

"Don't mention anything to Mrs James sir but let's just say that since the Upton Park operation I have been the subject of...unsought female attention" said Mansfield Mike carefully

"I can certainly relate to that Corporal but what's Molly got to do with it?" Asked James confused

"The female involved is a errr...relative of hers" said Mansfield uncomfortably "A relative of a certain age..."

James stared at his corporal "Really?"

"Yes sir" said Mansfield

"You're talking about Nan, right?" Clarified James

"Yes sir" came the response

"Well, I trust your conduct has been unimpeachable" said James

"I don't know what that means, sir but I ain't tried to jump her if that's what your getting at?" said Mansfield.

"Not really but thanks for the image Corporal. I just mean be careful, 'cos once these cougars get their claws into you they will eat you alive" said James with a hint of a smile

Mansfield Mike had looked at James and frowned "Your mocking me aren't you sir"

"Oh most definitely" concluded the Major.

Once the operations centre had been completed James called a briefing of officers and senior NCOs to run through the programme of operations. This would initially involve an investigation of the crash site and surrounding area, including the scenes of the cattle attacks.

"Lance Corporal Dawes, you will lead on the examination of the slaughtered cattle with a view to ascertaining the likely involvement of zombies" Ordered James

"Sir" replied Molly

"Captain Dwight, you will provide support and liaison with the local authorities across all our activities" said James

"Hua sir!" said Dwight

"Who what?" Said James

"No sir, hua, sir - heard, understood and acknowledged " responded Dwight

"OK good" said James "oh that reminds me Dwight, I understand that the Mayor of Marfa has invited us to a small informal reception in town shortly"

"Sir, yes sir, 1400 hours at the ville 3 clicks from our present location sir, hua!"

"Errr...OK, good well we best not be late, dismissed"

Lieutenant Dwight approached James as the others filed out.

"Sir, permission to speak sir"

"Of course Dwight, what is it?"

"Sir, I respectfully request that you used my surname in front of the men. Keeps it professional" said Dwight

James stared at the Captain "Sooo you would prefer I call you Dwight instead of...Dwight"

"Sir, yes sir!"

" Of course Captain, consider it done" replied James with a forced smile...

An hour later, James was sitting in the APC with the rest of three section as they rolled into town and onto Main Street, the broad thoroughfare which would take them to Marfa's modest town hall. As they neared the centre of the small municipality the sound of brass band music and cheering drifted in through the open window.

James frowned and looked at Molly. "Sounds like some kind of event is in progress" he commented.

"These yanks dont need much of an excuse to have a parade" replied the medic.

James smiled briefly but then frowned again as an uncomfortable feeling started to grow in his stomach.

Just then Mansfield called through from the drivers seat. "Sir, you better come and have a look at this"

The Major moved through the vehicle and entered the drivers cab to be greeted by the sight of a marching band through the windscreen. The body of musicians had formed up in front of the APC and was marching along playing 'Happy Days Are Here Again'

"Ah, I see" said James. "OK just keep driving corporal and try not to run over the base drummer at the back there"

"Sir" called Molly from the back.

"Oh god, what now" muttered James and clambered back into the rear where he was directed to the scene behind them. A large carnival float was keeping pace with the APC. On the flat bed trailer sat a pretty young lady, on a throne and dressed in a white gown and tiara waving regally to the ever growing crowd which lined the pavement. This female was flanked by two figures dressed in large green sponge bodysuits and enormous papier mache heads incorporating bulging red eyes. As these individuals pranced around to the music from the marching band, green bubbles issued from large gaping mouths in the middle of their oversized heads and drifted up towards the large painted banner which had been hung above them and proclaimed "Marfa's Carnival Queen Welcomes the SZS!"

James sat back in his seat and ran his fingers through his hair. "Arse" he muttered succinctly then looked at his troops "OK, its too late to beat a retreat now, it would only cause offence and we need the support of the local population if this mission is to succeed. So just smile and wave, three section,...smile and wave"

A few minutes later they arrived at the town hall and James had his troops disembark and form up alongside the vehicle. A large dais had been set up in front of the building and bedecked with union jacks and stars and stripes. A group of dignitaries stood on the raised platform and at their centre beamed a short, rotund man dressed in a white three piece suit and cowboy hat, puffing on the largest cigar James had ever seen.

As James watched the man raised both hands in the air in greeting and jogged down the stairs of the dais towards three section. James moved forward to meet him but the man walked right passed the major and directly to Mansfield Mike exclaiming "Your Royal Highness, as mayor of Marfa, it is ma honour to welcome you to our humble township." He then, removed his hat, bowed awkwardly and continued "Harim Franklin Hambleton the Third at your service sir"

James stared in consternation then advanced at speed towards the mayor. As he passed Molly she muttered "Hearts and minds, sir" and he checked his pace, paused momentarily then approached the large man at a more sedate pace whilst Mansfield Mike opened and closed his mouth like a goldfish.

"Mayor Hambleton, l'm Major James, the prince's errr...equerry and..."

"Beat it flunky..." Said the Mayor without removing his gaze from Mansfield Mike.

James bit his lip and threw a pleading look at the Corporal who finally pulled himself together and said "You will, of course, recognise the world famous commander of the SZS and hero of the battle of Upton Park..."

The Mayor turned to look at James for the first time and said "of course, of course welcome to you as well Major" before beckoning the party to follow him to the dais where a battery of photographers waited.

James fell in alongside Mansfield Mike and whispered urgently "Just play along for now. Say as little as possible."

"I'll have to say something, I'm about to be introduced to half the town" said the Corporal desperately.

"OK, ok" said James and thought furiously "Just ask people what they do...and whatever they say, tell them that it sounds really interesting"

As they mounted the stairs to the platform James turned to Brains and nodded to the assembled photographers. "Tell Captain Dwight I need those cameras confiscated as soon as this charade is over and to ensure there is a complete media blackout about this"

Brains nodded and doubled back to the APC to radio back to base.

By this time Mansfield Mike was being introduced to the first dignitary.

"Your highness this is Sheriff Wyatt" said Mayor Hambleton

Mansfield beamed his best smile "Ah Sheriff Wyatt...and what do you do around here?"

"I'm the Sheriff, sir" came the bemused reply

"Oh how very interesting...and funny that you have the same job as your first name" said the Corporal amiably as he was ushered past.

James grimaced "Please god let this be over soon..."

After some further introductions Mayor Hambleton stepped up to a microphone and addressed the crowd "It is with great pride that I welcome your royal highness to the beautiful town of Marfa. You will come to find that we are a small town with a big future..."

As the Mayor talked on, James leaned down to Molly and murmured "How the hell can they think that Mansfield is Prince Harry. Anyone with half an eye could tell the difference."

Molly grinned and whispered back "Marine medics were saying these remote desert towns can get very isolated. No internet, limited TV signals 'cos of the mountains...I guess no one has seen an up to date picture of him for months if not years. They're expecting to see him as he's our Colonel and have grabbed the first red head in a uniform"

James shook his head and focussed in again on the mayor's speech "Now we have a royal association we will no longer be thought of as just another remote desert town, the haunt of UFO nuts, new age hobos and paleontologists, peddling their Darwinian nonsense. Anyways, that's enough of my gas bagging, its time to hear from the man himself, Prince Harry!"

"Oh shit" hissed James but before he could intervene the corporal had the mic and was clearing his throat.

"Hello Marfa!" He bellowed and thrust both hands in the air. The crowd responded with cheers and applause. "I have only been here a few hours but can see this place is almost as beautiful as Derby!" This time less certain applause..."Anyway, I hope to sample the local night life while I am here so if your carnival queen wants to give this prince her number..." The crowd fell silent.

James strode over with a look of panic on his face "Wind it up now!" He whispered furiously.

The corporal nodded and smiled at the crowd "And as for palaeontologists, who wants to study buckets anyway? Thank you and good night!"

Mansfield then returned the microphone to the mayor who now looked a little baffled but waved to the crowed before leading Mansfield Mike and the rest of three section into the town hall behind them.

James walked with his head in his hands then looked at Molly. "I think this mission has just got very complicated" he said.

His wife smiled and squeezed his arm. "Do we do uncomplicated then?" She said before walking beside him through the doorway.

Sheriff Wyatt watched them both curiously before following a little distance behind.

In Main Street the crowd had started to disperse save for a loan figure who had only just arrived in town from Los Angeles and clutched a large briefcase close to his chest.


End file.
